Will You Have to Pay Alimony to Your Ex-Husband?


Think that you might be on the hook for alimony or spousal support after your divorce? The new tax bill that was signed into law at the end of 2017 states that the spouse paying alimony won’t get a tax deduction for the payments. This change applies to all support agreements made after December 31st, 2018. If your alimony agreement was official  before December 31st, 2018, then the spouse receiving the alimony will pay taxes on the money and the alimony-paying spouse will get to deduct the sum!

Ladies, we have been making some serious progress when it comes to income over the last few decades, but with great paychecks come great responsibilities! If you are a high earning woman considering divorce, don’t be surprised if your soon-to-be ex asks for alimony (also known as “spousal support”).

Many of today’s women are Leaning In like champs, climbing the corporate ladder, and bringing home big paychecks. A Pew Research study conducted in 2013 found that women are the leading or solo breadwinners in 40 percent of households. Additionally, another Pew Research study found that up to 2 million men in 2012 were stay-at-home dads, raising their children while their wives worked.

While alimony has historically been a benefit provided to women after a divorce, that concept is changing! Lynne Gold-Bikin, a family law attorney at WolfBlock LLP was quoted in Divorce 360 as saying, “When I started practicing 30 years ago, I didn’t see it at all. Zero. And now I see it in about 10 percent of my cases – female clients having to pay their ex-husbands support.”

There’s even a nickname for it – “manimony.”

Will you have to pay up when you divorce your husband?

Income Inequality

Alimony and spousal support laws are different in every state, but judges typically award alimony based on the prevailing laws in their state, and gender shouldn’t make a difference in the award. Alimony is awarded on a number of factors including the length of a couple’s marriage and the income disparity between the ex-spouses. In other words, the longer you were married and the more your income exceeds your spouse’s,  the more likely it may be that you will be writing checks to him each month.

The idea of paying manimony may be frustrating to women, but the entire purpose of alimony is to help the lower income spouse get back on his or her feet. If your husband was a stay-at-home dad, he may need to go back to school to brush up on job skills, or it could take many months before he finds employment.

Take heart in the knowledge that most alimony awards only last a certain amount of time and cease if your spouse remarries. Also, if you lose your job or take a big pay cut, you can petition the court to lower or eliminate your alimony payments.

The Price of Being Stronger and In Charge

Yes, paying alimony to your ex-husband can be frustrating, but there is a silver lining here. The fact that you may be required to pay alimony at all suggests that you are in a strong financial position. Unlike many women who must adapt to a much more financially restricted lifestyle after a divorce, you may actually find that you are better off on your own. Or at least you won’t see your quality of living drop drastically. In a best case scenario, your alimony payments will give your ex the support he needs while he sets out on his separate path toward full employment and self-sufficiency.

Do you have more questions about divorce, like whether or not you should keep the house? Take a look at our divorce archive of articles for answers! We also encourage you to sign up for the next Second Saturday Divorce Workshop near you to get answers to all of your divorce questions.

102 thoughts on “Will You Have to Pay Alimony to Your Ex-Husband?”

  1. Hello! Currently working on a divorce case. I filled. And my wife is claiming that she wants spouse support. What are my options? Seeking advice. We were married for 4 years, no kids, I paid for all the bills in the past 4 years. And I do make more than her.

    1. Your options are to accept what she wants, or to negotiate with her, just the two of you or through mediation, or to have your attorney negotiate with her attorney, or to bring the matter before a judge and let the court decide. Talk to an attorney familiar with the laws of your state to see what support amount and period of payment would be in your situation.

  2. California residence: I’m currently married (16 years), and make more money than my husband, would I have to pay alimony if we divorced?

  3. If my ex-husband made more money during marriage and through a 6 year separation and than I make more money after the divorce, can he ask for change in spousal support so I pay him instead of him paying me? (This would be after a divorce for 11-12 year marriage).

    1. Take a look at your divorce agreement and see what it says about spousal support being changed. If you have trouble figuring it out, you may need to talk to someone who is familiar with the laws of your state to help you figure it out.

  4. I am a 62 year old woman who is seeking divorce from my husband of 20 years. He lost his job 5 days before we got married stayed unemployed for 5 years, got a job for 12 years and took their early retirement. He remained unemployed from 12/19-8/21 and collected retirement til 8/20. Got a job 8/21 and fell off a ladder at work in IT one month ago. I work twelve hours a day, six days a week so I make a lot more money then him. I paid for my daughters education $50,000-4years. I paid off the house. I plan on working til I no longer can, love what I do. I have worked to save and have a comfortable end of life. He did not have sex but four times our entire marriage. I tried to put him back to school, start a business, all ended terribly. We separated within the first five years and he came home 30,000 in debt which I paid off. He also had a $20,000 loan I paid off. I yell because he distorts my reality in a very quiet way. I lose it because he is always the victim. He does not discipline the children. Do I have to now pay him alimony and how much of our estate is he able to have. I paid off the house and half a significant amount of investment. I feel I may have made more money but I have worked sixty hours a week and now he wants what was saved and he only worked as much as he had to when he worked.

    1. In most states, property acquired during the marriage is divided between the parties, generally pretty close to 50-50. But do talk to an attorney or someone familiar with the laws of your state to see what might be provided in a situation such as yours. if your spouse has been dependent on your income to live, then it is quite possible that he will receive support from you. But if he has the ability to work and simply chooses not to, then you could ask that he be deemed able to be self-supporting, if the laws of your state provide for that.

  5. Hello, my wife and I have been married for 12 years. She wants a divorce, not me. I gave up my career to help with kids because she makes very good money. This was something we agreed on long ago. Now in my 40’s it’s kind of late to start over, but I will, however I love my kids dearly and want this to work out well. My wife does too. I don’t think she realizes that I’ll be wanting to be supported as I jump back into a career attempt after not needing to for all these years. I understand there will be child support for our kids but will I also get support? Will I get half of everything we own and her future paychecks? I’ve been with her the entire time she’s been paying back her school loans which was over $500,000 and they are almost paid off so this was the part of life we looked forward to and now she gets to reap all the benefits while I start fresh after she has solidified a wonderful career for herself. I’m still going to help with the kids while she works and do things as normal but will the courts make her pay my apartment rent and give me money to live the life I’m used to or should I only expect a small enough just to get by? I feel like I’ve supported her getting this amazing foundation and now I’m kicked to the curb. We both love our kids so much so we hope to make this simple but if she disagrees to compensate me for at least several years so I can either go back to school or attempt to get a solid career, will I need to fight hard or does it sound like I’ll be ok?

    1. You’ll get sympathy from this quarter, but not many answers. The laws of each state are different. If you are in a community property state, then your states laws probably provide that all the assets acquired during the marriage are divided 50-50. In other states, there are equitable distribution laws that vary from state to state. All states provide for child support to be paid, and most states provide for alimony to be paid, to allow the supported spouse to get on their feet and become self-supporting. The amount and length of time for that alimony varies from state to state. As for whether you’ll need to fight hard, I think you answered that question when you said she disagrees about paying you alimony.

  6. yes, my husband wants divorce, married 27 years. He had house for like 3 years when we got married. He keeps telling me I need to leave house get out. I said no! said he owes me nothing. I live on 800 $ a month social security, he’s retiring in a month with a pension and 1800 $ month SS. I told him I have to get and deserve supposal support , or piece of his pension, am I wrong ? Will courts grant me spousal support or pension? he says no they won’t, I say yes can’t pay rent or living expenses on 800 a month

    1. OK, since when did your husband write the divorce laws? You need to get advice from someone who actually knows what the law provides. I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t provide that you leave the house and start living out of your car — the laws are meant to protect both spouses, not just him. And you’ll likely be entitled to support under the laws of your state if he has income considerably greater than your. In many states, even if the house belonged to one spouse before marriage, the fact that they lived in the house and made mortgage payments means the non-titled spouse still has gained a marital interest in it. Same thing with a pension — if it was earned during the marriage, even though it is in the name of only one spouse, both spouses have a marital interest in it.

  7. My wife and I have been married for almost 19 years. She makes about 4x more than me. I spent about 5 years working part time and caring for our kids to give her the flexibility to build her real estate business. I now work full time. She has asked for a divorce. We own two homes, one which we rent and has a very low mortgage, and our current one which is much bigger but carries a mortgage. At my current salary, even if I move the the smaller, lower mortgage home, I’d go from living a very comfortable lifestyle to living paycheck to paycheck. Is it reasonable for me to request / ask for spousal support?

    1. Alimony (spousal support) is to enable people to continue their lifestyle and pay their expenses. How it is computed and how long it lasts varies from state to state. It sounds as though you need support, so talk to someone who knows the laws of your state about what is involved.

  8. My husband and I are getting a divorce. He is an alcoholic and has gotten three DUIs within the last 10 years. This is the reason for our divorce. He is now a convicted felon and has no license. He has his own handyman business and has for years. He makes his own hours and makes most of his money under the table.
    I have been the main bread winner for our entire relationship. WE have been separated for 1 year. He currently gives me 500 dollars a month. This covers part of our family insurance which he is still on and I pay 900 dollars a month for. I also am paying for the families cell phones including his. My concern is I will have to pay him spousal support. I had to close out my 401K when he was in jail for his last DUI to pay off credit card debts so that I could afford the mortgage and bills by myself. I have been paying everything by myself for the last year. He is currently living with his parents and they are paying for him to go to school. Our three kids live with me and see him every other Saturday from 10am -6pm. I am concerned because I am living paycheck to paycheck and I cover all expenses for the kids. Is it likely I will have to pay him money when we get the divorce finalized? He wants to settle our divorce outside of court if possible.

    1. Each state has different laws, so you’ll need to find out how alimony works in your state. If you have the kids full time, then it is likely that he would owe you child support. And likely he has an ability to earn, even though he probably says on paper he makes nearly nothing, and so what he could earn if gainfully employed probably could be included in the computations for both child support and alimony. You may still owe him alimony, but if he owes you child support, one may offset the other, at least in part.

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  10. In many, perhaps most, states, each spouse owes the other a duty of support. Often that duty extends beyond the marriage, and so alimony is awarded if one spouse needs support and the other has the financial ability to provide it. You’ll need to find out what the laws of your state provide.

    1. My sister’s husband left her..out of the blue…they lived in Nevada. She is on disabilty..severe COPD and Crohns. She moved to Utah to be with family. Her husband now wants her to pay half of his carnote…he works as Uber driver… and is threatening to file for spousal support. Can he do that??

      1. I’m guessing that her disability income is quite limited, so it is probably no more than what he earns (or could earn, if he is only working part-time). If that’s the situation, then there would be no support.

    2. HELP! My husband and I have been married for 30 years. He has adult children from his first marriage; one is disabled. The other is just spoiled. In the early days, we fought about money all of the time – he’s a spender and I am a saver. About 20 years ago, we split our finances and today have no joint assets or liabilities. His monthly income is $2500 from social security and a small pension. Unfortunately, he spends twice that amount and now has only $240,000 in his IRA. I have tried – desperately – to get him to curb the non-essential items, but he won’t do it. He will run out of his savings in six years. I am so disgusted that I’m ready to divorce him. I’m willing to let him live in our condo (the property is in my name; I pay the mortgage). Trouble is, I have $2 million in savings. Am I going to have to pay him alimony?

  11. I’ve been married under 5 years and my husband keeps bringing up divorce and is trying to convince me that we’re better off apart. As I’m looking at spouse support, I’m curious because he hasn’t worked much since we’ve been married (by choice), so I’m making much more than he is. We have no children together, yet I have children. I only recently started making enough for us to live comfortably, yet now I fear paying yet another bill. I’m not sure how to view this situation.

    1. Are you asking me how to view “the situation” of him bringing up divorce, not working much and you making more than he is? I don’t know how you should view that situation. Or are you asking me what the laws are in your state regarding alimony in a short-term marriage where one spouse is underearning compared to his ability to earn? I don’t know that either, but I know who would. A divorce professional in your area who is familiar with the laws of your state.

  12. Hi Jennifer. I know your post is from many years ago, but I have yet to meet many women in this position, that I now find myself in.

    If you read this and would like to chat through gmail, so I can learn from you, I would be deeply appreciative of your time.

    Thank you. Ronnie

  13. My husband has never wanted to get a job on the grounds that his paycheck would be docked for child support (his previous child). He has always been “self employed”, never reporting any income received, always cash under the table. He owns a car business, with no valid driver’s license and is now fighting for alimony, saying he has nothing, since I paid all the bills, food, and essentials. His business, over the years, has acquired over 50 vehicles, tools, parts, etc. Wouldn’t that be an asset on his end? He left behind a notebook, with money transactions for paperwork he has done. Would that be admissible in court? He has sent text messages to my son and I that he has a job. Would that be proof that he is earning income? Please advise.

    Thank you

    1. There’s no telling what a man who is unwilling to support his child will resort to, is there? If the money he earned went into buying vehicles and equipment, then that certainly has value. And evidence of his earnings can come from sources other than tax returns, and the court would need to weigh how reliable such sources are. You’ll want to consult with someone who knows the laws of your state on exactly what you can present, and how.

      1. My ex’s finances have been grossly distorted in the same way, everything off the books. Not only did he manage to not have to pay me child support or spousal support, he got the marital property, exclusive use of the property, all the personal property inside, AND majority physical custody of our 2 kids. So I pay him child support out of my SSDI check (we all know EXACTLY the diff between SSI and SSDI is right??). And another third goes to my new rent for the apt I had to flee to, and I am CAPPED at how much I can earn a month without severe penalty (yeah there’s something not right with the way they set that up apparently). I ended settling more than a year after it was filed, war-torn, to all these concessions and managed to claim a little 15% on the property since we bought the new half with my cash and my cash only, BUT didn’t include my name on any documents relating to real estate transaction that was completed FIVE MONTHS BEFORE we got married. Deliberately to ensure it be separate property. I can’t see how a rational person could look at this and think this was a just and fair outcome. On top of that, he continues to extort me and my family, and has also succeeded in legalize his exploitive and abusive control mechanisms with this crazy entitlement. This abuse is ongoing. Legally. I thought this abuse is what divorce was going to protect me from…..

        1. I get that you don’t think this was fair. And yet, it’s the settlement that you signed, given all the facts and circumstances at the time. You can ask an attorney what legal options you have now to undo it or take further action, or you can accept that this is what you got and begin figuring out how to make it work for you. I know that it is tempting to keep telling your story and enrolling people in the injustice of it all, but I doubt that will make any difference in your life. So my advice is to do what you can to protect yourself and move on with your life from where you are right now.

  14. I’m the only one who works for almost 16 years and the child tax benefits go to my husbands bills if I divorce will I still have to pay even though the disability said he can work

    1. If there were bills that were incurred during the marriage by your spouse for family expenses or his own normal expenses, then likely in divorce those will be considered to be marital debt and will be taken into account when determining what each of you gets and the debts you must assume. As for paying alimony, if you can show that he is able to work and earn money, that could be taken into account in determining the amount of support, if any.

  15. I filed for divorce after almost 30 years of marriage as we do not see eye to eye as to how life should be lived to it’s fullest and all we do is fight about money. My husband has a very aggressive lawyer who is pushing to get 1/2 my pension, 1/2 my 401k , alimony and doesn’t feel that I am entitled to any proceeds to the sale of our home , why ? Because I make more money and my pension and 401k are substantial and potentially is worth more from and asset total than what he has, but not by that much. My husband however, who is 15 years old than me is retired collects a pension, works and also collects Social Security, he also has access to substantial amount of cash he got from an inheritance over 120,000.00, but I live paycheck to paycheck and have about 100.00 in my checking account. This man has been controlling my finances since the day we met when I was 17. I may have more in my 401k and pension but I am only 53 and cannot withdraw from my 401k and/or my pension until at least 62 or more so really all I have for usable assets is my pay check, does this really seem fair that he feels he should getting alimony ?

    1. If you and he don’t see eye to eye on what’s fair, then the law of your state will be the deciding factor in how things should be divided and whether alimony is appropriate in your case. In most states, the family home is considered a marital asset, as are retirement accounts earned during the marriage. His income from inheritance and pension are certainly factors in whether he needs alimony from you. So gather information on the assets you have and the value of each, as well as the income you each have, and then see how the law will treat those assets and income. Right or wrong, fair or not, if you can’t agree otherwise, the law will apply.

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  18. If I make more money than my husband and we have a daughter would I have to pay him spousal support? Live in California been married 7 years

    1. If your income is considerably more than your spouse’s income, and he is working at his full capacity, then you may be required to pay spousal support if he needs it to live and you have the ability to pay.

  19. This will be long and I don’t know how to sum this up: I have been separated from my ex husband since July 2003, we have x2 children ages 17 & 21 now. Since then we had an non-legal agreement where we shared custody time wise, he took the children 3 days and I took the kids for 4. Since the separation I got laid off from a receptionist job in 2004 and took out a student loan to go back to school. I received my nursing RPN diploma in 2007 and I have been working as a nurse since. I now make about $60 000 a year. We did not provide spousal support to each other. My children were in subsidized daycare when I went back to school. My ex did not try to better himself. I was the main bread winner (my ex is a waiter who works part time and is making significantly less then I) and was providing mostly more by buying things like clothes and school supplies for our kids. My ex was only providing a roof, food and some bus fare only on the days that he had the children. Since 2016 my youngest has been living with me full time and oldest son was residing with his father mostly (75%) when he was going to high school. My oldest finished high school 4 yrs ago approximately and did not take any post secondary education since. In the summer of 2017 my ex decided to move for financial reasons 2 hours away from me (we lived close by), since then my children have been residing with me. I know I might have the right for child support but I can’t be bothered to deal with the legal system. My ex does give money to my youngest for food but gives it directly to him. If I get a a divorce eventually would I have to provide spousal support yo my ex?

    1. Here’s how to sum it up – my husband and I are separated and I’m the main breadwinner since he’s only working part time. Will I have to pay him spousal support?
      Since your income is considerably higher than yours, you likely will have to pay spousal support, unless you can show that he could work more and make an amount more in line with what you make.

  20. My Daughter is married to a freeloader, who hasn’t worked in many years, never helps around the house, doesn’t support her in anyway. She works and earns roughly $15. an hour. He wants a divorce and wants to sue her for alimony..can he win?

    1. In most states, spouses have a duty of support toward each other. If he is unable to work for some reason, then the laws of her state might require that she pay support. But if he has an ability to work and chooses not to, she could probably ask the court to consider what he could earn if he chose to in setting support. But the laws of each state are different, and I’m not an attorney, so she should seek legal advice to see how the law applies in her particular situation.

      1. Ginita, My husband and I have been separated for 3 months now. I know that I have to be separated a year for a divorce. Here’s the problem. He doesn’t work, he drinks bad, abusive, physically and mentally. I work. Still pay all the bills, plus give him $120. a week. Will I have to pay alimony.

        1. The laws of each state are different. If you are the sole breadwinner, and he has the ability to work and simply chooses not to, then he may not qualify for support since he could be self-supporting if he chose. You’ll need to talk to someone who can tell you how support works under the laws of your state.

  21. I’ve been married going on 9yrs. We separated in September 2019,,she lives in a 375.ooo, dollar house,because my credit was no good my name is not on the house but mortgage and utilities was split down the middle, I received a lump sum from my va disability, and paid for all the furniture in the entire house, she makes around 90.000.a year, I’m a security officer making 15 dollars a hour and 90% va disability I’m filling for a divorce, also I’m out the house living in a appointment, can I receive Alimony.

  22. I am employed but currently on disability, fell 35 ft. Even though I’m having an amazing recovery won’t be back to work soon. Wife and I are having lots of problems and not getting along at all. She wants a divorce now.
    When I moved in to her house, she was going to court because the house we lived in and currently do so, belonged to her prior fiance and he was in process of divorce, but he passed away. Court granted the house to my wife. 3 years later we married (2014). I have nothing and don’t have anything in life but this because I always gave her my checks since she made more money than i and it was easier for her to pay the bills straight from her bank. So my question is if we do get a divorce, would she have to give me spousal support and am I entitled to half the house equity since the day we married to divorce

    1. It is likely that she will owe you support until you are on your feet again, if your income is substantially less than hers. In some states marital equity is created during the marriage in homes that are otherwise separate property, and in others it is not, except for mortgage paydown during marriage plus some of the appreciation. Check with an attorney who knows the laws of your state on both of these issues.

  23. Hello, i wanted to know, i am married and have supported my wife and her kids for 6 years. We have been married for 2. My wife rarely worked. But i have always worked. I even worked while attending college. Well i got work almost 2 years ago. We lost the house my career my education and everything. She stayed by my side until my workmans comp payments ran out. Im am currently still injured and unabke to work. She upped and left me. I was almost homeless in texas till my friend came from california to pick me up. My wife now has a job and is doing great. Can i request alimony? We have no kids together. I have supported her and her kids for years. Im in a massive whole i cant get out of. Need advuce please.

    1. You’ll need to consult an attorney in the state in which you reside to see if you would be entitled to alimony if you filed for divorce. Under some states, such as California, alimony is limited to half the length of the marriage, so it would just be for a year or so in your case.

    1. I’m sorry that you haven’t had a chance to explore our website. We have a myriad of financial information and tips for people going through divorce. But we are not attorneys and cannot offer legal advice, and that is why we say you should consult an attorney when people ask specific legal questions. We are concerned that people get good, accurate advice, and it would be negligent of us to make up answers to questions which we are not qualified to answer.

  24. Hi. I’be married a guy for 4yrs. Within a month of our marriage he left his job and he completely fit and talented, yet, till now he is at home.we are getting divorced now, will I have to pay him alimony

  25. Desmond wilson

    I been married for 2 years we got married in texas but moved to memphis i havent worked in almost a year if we get a legal separation who would have to pay

  26. I Pay 4 Figure Alimony

    Watch out for CO. I divorced my ex after he secretly spent our joint savings and refused to take paying work or contribute financially to our mortgage and bills.

    Had to divorce him because he stole and wouldn’t work, and guess what?

    I pay four figure alimony.

  27. Looking for Answers

    I am moving to divorce my husband. We have been separated for almost 2 years and married for 5 years. I make more than him but i also have the children. Would i have to pay alimony?

  28. I have been married almost 20 years and have always worked full time. My spouse has also worked the entire time. However, in the past 3 years my income has surpassed his, by 20K. We have 3 children and they are on my medical benefits. Will I have to pay him alimony? We live in Utah.

  29. My wife has decided to separate and leave me will all of the household bills (1st & 2nd Mortgage, credit cards, etc.).

    We have been married for 6 years (no children together) and I have been out of work for 4 years, (We have a small carpet cleaning business that I’ve been trying to build for 4 years but the customer base is not large enough yet to sustain me).

    My wife has supported this household for the entire time including all of the bills, food, vacations, etc.. Her income is $137,000 compared to my $0.00.

    I am 57 years old and would like to know if spousal support is a possibility.

    Thank you

    1. Talk to an attorney to see what the laws of your state provide for. Each state is different. It may be that you would be imputed with an ability to earn based on your skill level, which could reduce or eliminate any support that is due you.

  30. I got stuck paying 1/4 of my take home pay as manimony for the past 3 years. My narcissistic ex-husband claimed that he was a stay at home dad but in reality he felt no need to build a career since he could sit back and let me be the bread winner. He didn’t have a job for the last 20 years of our marriage. I had the mindset that it wasn’t so bad because he didn’t cheat on me or hit me. Some awful things happened that brought me to my breaking point and I filed for divorce after 30 years of being married. The manimony has been extremely tough for me. At times I’ve had to buy food or pay my utilities with credit cards. I have had to shop at thrift stores and lose some of the luxuries like my smart phone but with God’s help I survived and just made my last payment. My advice to young married women is don’t accept anything less than what you deserve! You deserve to be treasured! Don’t be forced to be the man and the women in your relationship. I learned my lesson the hard way but at the end of the day it’s the BEST MONEY I’VE EVER SPENT.

  31. hello my husband is always in and out of prison and now we are starting the divorce he wants alimony for three years of our marriage he has been in prison the state has paid for him to live so how could they want me to pay him alimony to what life styles

  32. What if I’m disabled and unable to work since 1989 and have been totally dependent on husband for both financial and physical care? Would I be awarded more in a no-fault state? I would need to pay for some of the services he currently does for me or I could not make it on my own. So I feel trapped.

        1. In many states, if you are receiving support from your ex and you begin making more money, he can ask that the support he pays be reduced since you are now more self-sufficient and your need for support is less, unless your support was characterized as non-modifiable in your divorce agreement. If your divorce agreement provides that your spouse can collect alimony from you, and his income goes down, he could ask that you pay support to him if your income is substantially more than his. There may be nuances to this in your state’s laws.

  33. What about a husband who works and makes enough to support himself but still makes about 30% of what I do. Would I still have to pay alimony if I assumed all responsibility for our debts and support of our children?

  34. About divorce: I want to keep our dhouse for my son after I divorce until my son will get 18 years old. My husband and I own this house. I paid off the house already, no more mortgage. I wonder the court agrees or not. Please let me know, If someone knows about the divorce law. Thanks

  35. About divorce: I want to keep my house for my son after I divorce until my son will get 18 years old. I paid off the house already, no more mortgage. I wonder the court agrees or not. Please let me know, If someone knows about the divorce law. Thanks

    1. Depends on what your husband also wants. A fair settlement would be to keep the home for the son, once the son moves out you sell the property and split the proceeds.

  36. Hello,
    I’m paying my ex, alimony and child support. We agreed to a 50/50 split of my income, he is a stay at home dad. Now that we have filed our taxes separately. I paid him 50% of net income each paycheck for the whole 2015 year. He says we just take his tax due and my tax refund, add them up and divide by 2 to get to a 50/50 split of my gross income for the year. Any help with the formula I should be using to help me figure out the amount I owe him to get to a 50/50 split of gross income. It seams to me there should be more to it.
    Thank you

    1. You’ll need to look at your divorce settlement agreement to see what it says about how to divide refunds and taxes due. If it is silent, then whatever the two of you decide is what you should do. If the goal is for each of you to end up with half of the total funds available, then his solution sounds like it would work.

  37. I was taken by surprise when the alimony request came up during the divorce process. I had married an older wealthier man (retired) who was already delving into his 401K (he had no pensions, but had substantial savings and the 401K draw down was mandated because of his age). I was making more than his 401K draw but my own 401K and savings were at least half of his. Although I was already on Medicare at the time, I was putting off retiring until the divorce was finalized.

  38. My husband hasn’t worked for almost 3 years, but not for any real reason. He is an educated, able-bodied professional who could be working right now. At present, I do make more money because he has no income. Will I have to pay alimony? I live in California.

      1. Am a man and my wife makes double what I make, we have been married for less than 10yrs, if we divorce and am working will she have to pay me?

          1. My wife makes around 160.000 a year. She works 7 day aweek. Not time for me. She brougt a 420.000 house put it in her name only. I deal with diebaties. Iake about 450 a week. I give her 300 a week. She has a 30 year old daughter with two kids live with use she dont charge here. But say i dont give here enought. She tell me to get out all the time. She wont to divorce me can i get spou se support

          2. A court cannot award spousal support until there is a legal action that gives them jurisdiction to make such an award. So until you file for divorce or legal separation, you cannot get spousal support. If you don’t want to start a legal action, then you will need to make your views known and negotiate with her to give you the money you need to live.

      2. I have separated from my husband two months shy of 10 years (live in CA), I have worked full time my whole life he has a drinking problem but has the capacity to earn a good living and just became lazy because I took care of everything. He’s now threatening to sue me for alimony because he’s too lazy to work. I don’t make a whole lot of money to begin with. Can he win?

        1. Whether he can get a judgment for alimony depends on all the facts and circumstances of the case. If he can show that he is disabled and unable to work, or that jobs do not exist that he could fill, he might be able to.

          1. Can the wife be forced to pay spousal support when there has been domestic violence towards her by the hands of the unemployed spouse? The wife has full custody of the two children.

    1. Yes..my dovorce is final tuesday and i have to pay big money to a lazy ass who didnt work for 5 yrs. I live in wisconson snd mo fault state. He was an abusive ass and i have to pay support to him..not fair..im having hard tome comimg to terms with that..

        1. Why wouldn’t you receive support? Do you think she wouldn’t take it from you? Equality goes both ways, women can’t cherry pick the parts of equality that work in their favor and demand the others to not apply. If you need the support to get back on your feet without taking on hardship you should take. There is no shame in it, you shouldn’t feel any less because equality means equal treatment to both parties. Your entitled to all the rights any other woman is, your gender shouldn’t remove this equal treatment.

          1. AMEN Bill! I dang sure will take everything I can get, especially after 10 years of marriage and she breaks the marriage contract. She thought I would just pack and go home to mommy while she lived in the house. She is NUTS. I told her if you don’t want to work on the marriage that’s fine. So we will sell everything and split it down the middle and yes please I’ll accept that alimony check I don’t care if its $25 a month! Or we can work on our marriage. Guess what she chose?

      1. I know and feel your pain. I have been supporting my ex-husband for years. He was abusive, violent, and refused to work. Now, him and his scum bag attorney are coming after me for everything, even though I am currently undergoing chemo treatments.

        California is unfair, and I pray one-day they change the laws. For me, this is like an extension of the abuse I received during my marriage. It never ends. Somehow the court needs to and take into account the torture many of us women endure when married to an abuser. We should not be subjected to additional abuse for a life time, especially when we finally had the courage to leave the situation.

        1. I’m sorry about your cancer and hope you make a full recovery. Yet you had nothing to say when it’s been happening to men for decades about how unfair it is. Even in your situation men are required to have a life insurance policy in place so there spouse is supported even after they are gone if God forbid the worst happens.

  39. Sir , I am Chandrika I given divorce to my husband . But am studied intermediate only I didn’t have any job I have a son 20 Months old I can’t understand that what I do next please give me suggestion sir

  40. Pingback: Will You Have to Pay Alimony to Your Ex-Husband? | SortStyle.com

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