Getting Income From Retirement Plans After Divorce

QuestionGetting Income From Retirement Plans After DivorceAs a part of my divorce settlement, I am supposed to get a portion of my husband’s retirement plans. I’ll need some of the money to live on, but I’m only 53, so I’m too young to receive retirement benefits. What’s the best way to handle this retirement plan distribution?

AnswerGenerally, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO, pronounced “quadro”) would be used to transfer your portion of your husband’s plan to an IRA in your name. Ordinarily, you can’t take money from your IRA without penalty until you are 59-1/2.

If you need money to live on now, you can elect to have the funds transferred from your husband’s plan directly to you, rather than transferring them to your IRA. You will have to pay tax on the money you receive, but there won’t be any 10% penalty if the money comes from a retirement plan other than an IRA.

If you don’t want to pay all those taxes up front (and who would?) you can choose to have the money sent directly to your IRA. Then you can annuitize the IRA, taking monthly distributions based on your remaining lifetime.

Although IRA distributions before age 59-1/2 are usually subject to a 10% penalty tax, an exception applies if you annuitize the IRA and continue receiving the payments until you are 59-1/2 (and for a minimum of five years).

1,083 thoughts on “Getting Income From Retirement Plans After Divorce”

  1. I was awared 50% of his 401K. At the time neither of us could afford the third party needed to split the qrdo.
    How long do I have to claim this from him?
    I am afaid it my be too late.

    1. You need to prepare the QDRO and have it served on the plan administrator, so that they pay your portion to you and not to him. If he’s already retired and taken your part out, then you’ll need to sue him to get your share.

  2. I would like to divide my 401k and give my ex her portion as soon as possible. We are both in our mid 50s. The divorce decree states” the Wife shall be entitled to a Majauskas share of the husbands 401-k as of the date of commencement of the matrimonial action that was pending at the time such agreement was executed, to wit July 16 2018. The wife shall obtain her share of the same by means of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order.
    Assumptions:
    The marriage lasted 25 years.
    The 401k started in January 2015
    As of July 16 2018 the balance of the 401-k is $100,000
    Questions:
    – Can I initiate this instead of her?
    – Can all (or only some) of this be completed now and before retirement age? (initiate and complete QDRO, divide 401-k and give her her portion)
    – Is there any advantage to wait vs. get this done now (it was a contentious divorce, we are no contact, the grapevine says she needs money now, and I’m seeking closure) I have no issue with paying the QDRO fee.
    – How is the Majauskas formula applied before retirement age?
    – Approximately how much is she entitled to (roughly based on the application of the formula)?

    1. Since you have a divorce decree, your next step is to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and served on the plan administrator to notify the plan administrator the terms of the division. Once they accept it as qualified, they can divide the plan however the QDRO provides. I don’t know what the Majauskas formula is, but since it refers to some case in your state, your attorney or someone they recommend can answer your questions regarding it and its application in your stiuation.

  3. Desperate Autism Mom

    I was awarded 50% with a QDRO in Texas a year ago. My ex had the QDRO state the money of to be rolled into a new account for me. My disabled son and I need money to get a home. I thought I was allowed to request a cash option. My ex says I don’t get an option. Our decree states he must pay all fees for a transfer. I think he’s trying to force me to accept the 401 account rather than Valerie’s check to push the penalty fees onto me. Can he do this? He left us broke and he’s doing very well. I can’t afford an attorney and we’re going to became homeless without that money.

    1. I don’t know the rules in Texas. But in general, you each have to sign and approve the QDRO before it is served on the plan administrator. You will want to have it drawn up so that a portion (or even all) of the funds are paid directly to you rather than rolled into an IRA in your name. They will withhold income taxes on what you request be paid to you and you will get the net amount after those taxes are withheld. And any additional taxes over and above the percentage withheld will be due at the time you file your income tax return in the spring. Though you owe the income taxes on the funds paid to you, there is no penalty for early withdrawal before retirement age since it was done using a QDRO. And I get that your ex says you don’t get an option, but find out from the QDRO preparer or plan administrator whether the plan allows for the funds to be withdrawn. Some pensions don’t but most plans do.

  4. I was married in 1984, divorced in 2003. I have worked for my current company since 1985. I will be retiring this year. There was no QDRO filed with the divorce and the divorce settlement did not mention anything about pensions or retirement. It basically stated that whatever was hers is hers, what’s mine is mine. Our finances were always separate. I have not spoken with my ex-wife in about 15 years, I do not even know where she is or if she is even alive.

    I turned in my papers for my pension, and the form asked me for the divorce papers. My question is this: will the pension plan administrator attempt to contact her to let her know I am retiring?

    1. Oh boy, you are asking me to tell you what the pension plan administrator is going to do. I don’t know, since I’ve never met the person, but if I wanted to find that out I would probably ask them. Have you considered doing that? If your divorce settlement agreement said that all assets in your name were awarded to you, and the pension plan falls into that category, I would think that they would see that she doesn’t have an interest in it and therefore would have no need to contact her. But I’m just guessing, asking the administrator would be the way to find out “from the horse’s mouth”, so to speak.

        1. I do not know. But if you are unmarried, and your former spouse doesn’t have an interest in the plan, then I don’t see why they should. But the best source for information on what rules or laws the plan administrator follows is the plan administrator.

        2. Some companies do require a copy of divorce decree to make sure he/she is not entitled to any portion.
          If they have an address for her they may attempt to contact.
          – Also your co. may request a Notarized signed form stating Forfeits all interest for pension in question by your ex spouse.
          My ex husband & I have been divorced 30 yrs & still was asked to sign form stating I had no interest in his pension. They wouldn’t release his pension without it.

  5. Once your divorce is finalized in the courts, and the QDRO has been completed, does my ex have any rights to my future 401k match or profit sharing contributions that my employer deposits into my defined contribution plan? Are these considered “Income” for the purposes of alimony payments due? I owe a percentage of my Income to her for the next few years and was wondering if this is included in income. If it is, how does she get paid for her portion of it since it’s in a retirement account and wasn’t paid out in cash to me? I’m hoping it’s exempt from maintenance support, but if not, would I have to pay out of my own funds? Or would this have to go thru a QDRO every year a contribution is made to my retirement account?
    Thanks.

    1. That’s a good question. It depends on the laws of your state. Support generally is based on the income that’s available, and clearly employer contributions to 401(k) plans are not available funds from which support can be paid, unless you are given the option of receiving those funds in cash. So many, maybe even most, states don’t consider that to be income that is available for support. Your income would be what you earn plus any other income you might have, unreduced for voluntary contributions you make to retirement plans.

    2. Marc,
      Normally
      Retirement funds are distributed at the time YOU retire. If she was entitled to any money from retirement fund she’d have to wait for you to retire. Unless you agreed to otherwise, such as lump sum buy out or other equal form of collateral.
      As for future 401k contributions made by employer she normally would NOT be entitled to. It’s usually calculated from date of marriage/date hire/to date divorce filed/finalized. UNLESS your divorce decree states she’s entitled to “x” amount of the 401k including future employer contributions. The QDRO that was completed would tell you what she’s entitled to & when. Done by their mathematical system they use employment yrs/marriage/ divorce etc.
      Your income is total wages earned for the year. Not employer contribution to retirement fund.

  6. California divorce – 2010 and date of separation was 2007. X still has not filed a QDRO and now my x employer has moved 401k plans 3 times. I called several don’t have statements any longer. I have a good statement from about 1 month after the date of separation. When he figures out he needs to do QDRO – how will anyone calculate out the amount? It was 110,000 balance 40% vested and 30k of that was a rollover from prior job before we were married so that part should be 100% mine. So, I am hoping it will look something like 110-30=80 times vesting 40% = 32k * 50% community property = 16k – but obviously he left it in my account and has been earning there is some clause several pages down from the 401k that read like it neither of us share in gains of property given or acquired in the agreement so hoping that means no earnings and no further vesting after that point. I am also thinking I should just move close to what he will be getting into a fund of it’s own on the statement so it’s identifiable…. Got any thoughts on all this?

    1. Your divorce agreement should say how much of the retirement plan is his, or at least give a formula for how it is to be calculated (for example, identifying how much of the plan is yours from before marriage). If it doesn’t say how his portion is to be calculated, and you and he disagree as to how to calculate his portion, you may need to go back to court or to mediation to work it out.

      1. Thank you for the reply. I went and looked at the document and it is not very clear of course. Just states
        “During the course of the parties marriage, wife was a participant at xxx in 401k plan. (only mentions co I was at when divorce was filed but previous employer aka the rollover into this plan). Husband & wife agree to divide wife’s 401k pursuant to a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, with the court reserving jurisdiction over his asset.”

        That’s it . Another same paragraph for his pension which was considerably less and obviously a set amount per month. My 401k at the time of separation was
        110k balance – 30k rollover pre-marital = 80k of which was 40% vested only at that time.

        Of course now that account is worth about 650k and he really thinks he is entitled to 50% of the whole balance.

        I would appreciate any feedback you can provide thank you!

        1. Someone will need to make a calculation of the marital value of the 401(k), excluding your separate property interest, under the laws of your state. The person who draws up the QDRO can probably do that. If he balks and says no, I want half, then you will have to ask the court to affirm the calculations of your separate property.

  7. I have a QDRO from my divorce about 16 years ago. I pulled out the paperwork to find the contact information for a change of address. I’m now 56 and thinking starting to think about how close retirement is. I see that it says I could have taken a lump sump 16 years ago and/or rollover to an IRA. So now I’m wondering if this money has been in his retirement account, making money for 16 years instead of being in my IRA making money. Also wondering if I took a lump sum now, would it include the profits.
    It says I’m awarded 100% of the participant’s vested balance as of 2005, however in no event will the Alternate Payee (Me) be entitled to an amount in excess of the total value of the Participant’s account at the time assets are segregated or distribution is made to the Alternate Payee.
    It also mentions I could have moved it to a separate account established within the Participant’s Plan.
    Does this mean I might have been able to take increases in value only if I had separated it from his plan?
    I just assumed, incorrectly, that I would not see this money until he retired and would get monthly payments for life.
    Then, my divorce decree shows my formula as 50% x the number of years I was married, divided by the numbers of years my ex-spouse was employed by his company.

    Basically, based on this information, I’m trying to figure out if I should just stay the course and get monthly payments for the rest of my life or take the value and move it into my own IRA where I might compound the value?

    1. Ask the plan administrator to tell you how much is allocated to you in their records, and what your options are at this point. I’m guessing that the portion allocated to you in 2005 has been credited with earnings and has grown significantly since 2005. If the plan allows and you want to manage this in your IRA you can have it moved out of the plan. But most people would stay in the plan until retirement, and then make the choice of whether to get monthly payments or a lump sum rollover.

  8. Hi good morning I have been divorced a few years granted 50% share of his retirement and pension fund in the divorce stipulation. I am going to be getting remarried very shortly I never filed a QDRO yet do I lose his benefits if I didn’t file it yet or can I file it at any time? he is still young my ex-husband and far away from retirement? Thank you

    1. You will not lose your retirement benefits if you remarry. But you are playing a game of chicken by delaying filing. That’s because you will lose them if he draws them out before you file a QDRO, since the plan administrator has no knowledge that part of that money belongs to you.

      Do you really want to take that chance, that he changes jobs and moves the money into a rollover IRA, or that he withdraws the money and pays the penalty for early withdrawal and then spends it all? Or that he dies and leaves the money to someone else whom he named as a beneficiary?

      Don’t be foolish — file the papers right away. After all, you’ll need to do it eventually anyway, and better to be protected now than to be fighting an expensive, protracted and risky court battle trying to get your funds after something has happened that jeopardizes your interest.

  9. My divorce was finalized May 3, 2019. We never completed a QDRO or DOPO order. Can I refund my SERS retirement just by providing my divorce decree? and do I have to upload the whole document or just the first page that says judgement is granted.

  10. My husband’s ex wife was awarded 9k of his 401K in the divorce, this was almost 2 years ago. He has now been laid off due to Covid, and we need the remaining funds from his 401K account to be ok. However, even though he’s terminated in the system, they said there is a court ordered hold on his account due to the divorce, and the plan administrator has no idea how much she is supposed to get. They say they won’t just accept a copy of the divorce decree. Can she really hold him from getting his 401K money by not filing additional paperwork? Do we have any options?

    1. The plan administrator needs a Qualified Domestic Relations Order that tells them how much of the plan is to go to her and how to get it to her. Why is your husband waiting for her to prepare that order? It seems that he’s the one who wants it done, so why not get it done?

      1. In the divorce, it stated she was to be the one that paid any additional fees to have the 401K money removed for her. If he can get it done himself, we will. We just weren’t sure if the court ordered hold was the QDRO or if it was just a basic hold. If we can do it ourselves, then we will get it filed and have the lawyer send her the bill for the paperwork. Since it requires a determination of how to get the funds to her, does she not have to sign off on how she wants the funds? Or can we just elect to have them moved to an IRA in her name?

  11. I’m 53 years old and getting divorced after 15 years of marriage (18 years including 3 years of separation). I’m having a QDRO prepared to transfer a portion of my soon-to-be-ex’s retirement assets to me. I’m thinking of rolling it over into a target-date retirement fund. How do I know if I want an IRA, a Roth IRA, or a 401(k)?

    Also, from previous jobs, I have an IRA and two 401(k)s. Should I roll them over into the new target date fund so I have just one account to manage, or is it better just to leave those funds where they are (in which case I would have 4 retirement accounts)?

    Thanks!

    1. You likely will want to transfer the funds into a traditional IRA. If you opt for a Roth IRA instead, all the funds that are transferred from his retirement to your Roth IRA will be taxable, and you will have to figure out how to pay the taxes in the year of transfer, probably 2020. You may have a 401(k) at work, but you cannot transfer the funds into that 401(k) since you didn’t earn the funds coming from his retirement, he did.

      You are welcome to keep the four different accounts, but if it were me, I’d opt to roll them all together, if you are allowed to do so. But the mutual fund company may say you have to segregate them into two accounts, one for the rollover funds from his retirement accounts and one for the rollover funds from your retirement accounts.

  12. I got divorced after 18 yrs back in 2005. My ex is currently 66 yrs. old and retired almost 2 months ago on 1/2020. A QDRO is in place since 2007. I am 59 1/2 yrs old currently. I live in NYS. Wondered what I have to do now in this process? What steps do I take? Any? I haven’t heard anything from anyone as of yet about my share of the pension due to me. I have contacted the NYS Retirement Dept. and the DRO Dept. No one has responded with any information. Do I just assume that things are happening and need to be patient? Do i have to be 62 yrs. old before I can claim my share of the pension? What do you advise? Thank you so very much.

  13. I need help. I was awarded half of my husband’s Vanguard account of which I was taxed 20%. My legals fees were almost as much as I received. They were hefty. This also included custody. I had to take the cash since I owed my attorney almost everything that I got from the QDRO. My question is, am I able to claim any attorney fees incurred getting this QDRO since my ex dragged his feet coming up with all of his assets which took month for him to come up with. He kept hiding assets which I never knew he had. This was my only income since I was a stay at home mom for 12 years which took me out of my job market. Now I am unemployed and having a hard time securing a job. There is a lot more to this case which turned into a J case which also increased my attorney fees a lot. The CPS lawyers took over along with my family law/divorce attorney, so I have been unable to really secure any kind of job so far. This divorce was a nightmare.

    1. I guess you can ask your former spouse to reimburse you for part of your legal fees. But if he doesn’t, then your attorney possibly could request a court order that he pay part of your fees, if that’s possible under the laws of your state and it isn’t too late to file such a request for fees.

  14. I was QDRO’ed a portion of my ex’s 457 during a divorce in 2008. I’ve left the funds in with the same management in an account that bears only my name.
    While I am 66 and still working, he just turned 70.5 last April and the managers have notified me that I must begin RMD’s due to his/participant age. (He is still alive.)
    I thought the account was mine now and had planned to wait until 70 to start withdrawing. Management’s letters refer to me as a “Non-Spousal Beneficiary,” but an advisor just told me I am a “QDRO Alternate Payee.” I don’t care what they call me, but am stunned I’m being told to start removing money.

    1. Can you move the total funds out of the plan and into an IRA? If so, that will probably solve this problem for future years. If not, then you are probably his beneficiary and not the true owner of the plan (this has to do with it being a 457 plan, which is technically different from 401(k) and 403(b) plans.) In that case, it is still considered his money for the purpose of the RMD requirements and so is governed by his age and not yours.

    2. Hi
      I just received a letter of welcoming package thru his plan. Qdro was hired but the balance is only 3k we been divorced for over 2 years but he never agreed to start the process until naw. Is there any way to find out if he took money out or move money from plan before we hired attorney. Married for 8 years so am sure he did something ?

  15. Hi,
    My ex-husband and i were married for 23 years, and i have a court ordered QDRO . The QDRO states that I get 1/2 of his Ford Pension for the 23 years that we were married. My ex-husband called me the other day and said he has his 30 years in at Ford so I can start receiving my portion of his pension. I have been going round and round with the new company that took over the retirement department for Ford since April and it is now Jan 2020. They are stating that all that is owed to me is $194.42 a month. I have asked how they are coming up with the amount and they sent me their calculation factors but with no amounts. I am beyond frustrated!! Any help would be appreciated.

    1. I do not have that information, of course, but you can ask the plan administrators how the factors they sent are specifically applied to your former spouse’s earnings history – the total benefit to be paid, the percentage that you are getting (presumably around 50% of 23/30, and whatever other amounts are figured into the calculations.

    2. Lorrie
      My husband is getting ready to retire from ford also and I was wandering if you found out if that amount was right?

  16. We were married for 27 years and divorced in 2016. We did the QDRO and I am now receiving my portion of his PERS retirement, which was outlined in our settlement. Our settlement also required that he pay me $1200/mo in spousal support. He remarried in 2017. He retired October 1, 2019. He died Nov. 9, 2019. At that time my spousal support ceased.I am aware that his portion of the PERS retirement was nearly $400,000. Because he was a city govt employee he never paid into Social Security, so I don’t have the option of receiving a portion of any Social Security benefits from him. Since my spousal support ceased last month upon his death, I only have my portion of his retirement outlined in the divorce + my own Social Security benefits to live on. I am 65 and no longer physically able to work full time. I am wondering if a judge would possibly consider that a portion of the $400,000 retirement benefit go to me. Doesn’t seem right that it will go to a woman he’s known for 4 years when during the 27 years we were married, I helped him to attain his retirement benefits. Just wondered what you think my chances are. I have to go to court next month because he had filed to stop spousal support payments to me before he died, our date to go over this was set in May for January 15, 2020. His attorney tells me now that he’s dead, there’s nothing to talk about, it’s all set in stone.
    Thank you for any advice.

    1. I think your chances are zero, but I’m not an attorney. It sounds as though you consulted with an attorney and his opinion is the same. For everyone reading this, when you sign your divorce agreement you are agreeing to the terms in it, so think through what could happen in the future. In general, there are no do-overs.

  17. After a divorce a QDRO was sent to my ex-husband’s “non-qualified deferred compensation plan.”
    They followed the QDRO, and put my portion in a separate account in my name only, but still in the employer’s plan where my ex-husband still works. However, I was told they cannot send the funds as a roll over to my IRA? Also, if I withdrew the funds to remove it from the employer plan I would have to pay immediate taxes and it would also be considered ordinary income? I find this all confusing, and just want move the funds to my own IRA. Any advice?

    1. In general, a non-qualified plan cannot be rolled into an IRA. It sounds as though this is true in your case. Usually the employee chooses the terms of payout when the funds are deferred into the plan, for example, payable over 10 years at retirement, and that applies to all the funds, including the portion assigned to you. But talk to the plan administrator about what your options are for receiving the funds. And yes, any funds you receive will be taxed as ordinary income. As for confusing, I agree, these types of plans don’t fall under the normal retirement plan rules, thus the designation “non-qualified”.

  18. My order stated I am awarded a lump sum interest of __ __ amount, from the Valic 403(b) Pension Plan arising out of employment with ___.
    I had a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed and is now final. The plan administrator said that I cannot access the money in the account until after their employee is no longer an employee (either through retirement or moving on to another job). A HIGHLY unusual circumstance, but the Court cannot make the plan distribute the money from the account they created for me pursuant to the QDRO.
    Can I go back to court since I assumed that I would be able to draw money from the retirement to live on? I get no alimony or child support. In fact I would have had to pay child support, but it was waved.

    1. The same plan rules apply to the alternate payee as apply to the employee. So if the pension plan provides that distributions are made to employees only upon termination or retirement, those same rules would apply to you. Those are common provisions in pension plans. But you are calling it a 403(b) plan, which isn’t a pension plan and which generally will allow for transfers into your IRA or to you using a QDRO. So get straight about what this plan is, and then talk to your attorney about what you can do at this point.

      1. Correct the 403(b) is an annuity and the money was transferred into an annuity in my name only. I just assumed I would be able to get money wright away. That assumption cost me.

  19. Need to Know is there a somewhere in the law saying that the other spouse sign the paper work stating that they
    don’t want to receive any of the pension. Are do they have to write a statement saying that. Cause my mother second husband pass about three years ago. My mother say he made a trip to Florida and it was to make a change to his pension plan. She did not go with him. After he pass she found out that someone forged her that on the paper work for not to receive the pension. I know that the extra fund would make my mother life better. Can she get a lawyer to find a hand writer expert to look into this situation. And did they have to be married a certain amount of time. My mother is 85 years old need the money

    1. If the pension plan received the proper signed declarations that waived a survivor benefit, then the payments then they made larger payments to him during his lifetime that they otherwise would have made, and there is no survivor benefit to be paid to your mother. So she would need to sue the beneficiaries of his estate to get what she would have been entitled to if that waiver had not been filed with the plan administrator. Before she hires a handwriting expert, she needs to consult with an attorney to find out exactly how the laws of her state apply in her situation.

  20. Hi, Divorced 8 yrs ago and my husband was to get 53k from my 401k and a small portion of my pension but no QRDO was ever filed. Im retiring next month. Wondering if I should of just move forward with my retirement without mentioning this to my 401k admin and my retirement pension admin. My 401k will be rolled into a IRA with another company than who has administered it while working. He may never file the QRDO but that is just my hopes. His Lawyer was to do the QRDO filing per our divorce decree. We have zero contact. This is in Illinois

    1. The plan administrator can only work off official Qualified Domestic Relations Orders, and so they will make full payment to you whether you “mention” anything or not. But be aware that if you receive payments that don’t belong to you (because they were awarded in part to your former spouse), he likely has a legal right to come after you for those payments. You might want to get some legal advice from an attorney about what your rights and obligations are under the circumstances.

  21. Hello, My divorce was finalized in 2005. We had been married just short of 10 years, during which I was a stay-at-home mom and my ex was a teacher, with a teacher’s pension. Let me say upfront that I was desperate to get out of that marriage, as my ex was abusive and also I had recently discovered, had been inappropriate with my then 12-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. I hired a very reputable attorney in our area, but this attorney really dropped the ball. In the divorce decree it states that my ex would keep all of his pension, and I would keep all of my 401K. I was naive. I knew I didn’t have a 401K at the time, but didn’t know if that meant going forward or what, or why would it even be stated in there if none existed? My attorney looked over all paperwork and said it looked good to sign, so I did. I’m now wondering if there’s any way to go back and have this opened up so that I will receive the amount I was entitled to, or am I out of luck because I signed that we would keep our own retirement funds (even though I had none). Thank you so much for any advice you can offer.

  22. Excellent Q & A here. Divorced in 1995, with a portion of his pension granted me in the documents at 5% per year. He has retired and his pension board is working on this. Will I have to pay taxes on the settlement? If so, on the entire amount or just on the interest? The divorce decree doesn’t address that. We are both older than 59-1/2. He will have to pay the 10% on the withdrawal and he will get the 1099-R. Looking forward to your response.

    1. If you were awarded a portion of his pension and you filed the appropriate Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator, then you will receive your payments directly from the plan, and your husband will receive his benefits from the plan. Each of you would pay tax on what you receive, if the plan’s benefits are taxable, and most are.

      1. Thank you so much. I have not been able to get a clearer answer elsewhere. Follow-up question is: Can this payment be rolled into a pre-tax Traditional IRA?

  23. You have been so helpful. Thank-You so much. Thank GOD for people like you to help lost confused people like me. You are a GOD send. You TRUELY ARE APPRECIATED!!!!

  24. Whether she can draw on the pension depends on what the plan allows. It’s between her and the plan, and he doesn’t need to concern himself with that issue.
    He is the employee, right? So he is not alternate payee, his former spouse is. He is the payee in his plan. Once the QDRO is in place, in general, her portion is separate from his. So she can elect to have payments continue until her death, or paid to her sooner, it shouldn’t matter to him what she does. He should concentrate on what is best for him and his family (e.g., you). If he names you as beneficiary then when he dies you’ll get whatever benefits he has elected. If he elects not to have a beneficiary, and you sign off on that (don’t do it!), then the payments will end when he dies. Otherwise, some portion of them (generally 50%) will continue to be paid to you as his spouse.
    If he dies before she is paid, then she’ll get whatever she gets under the pension. Her portion is her portion, and she should work with the plan adminstrator to see when her payments begin and how much she gets.
    I’m guessing that the QDRO says that if he receives a portion of the plan that is supposed to go to her, he must turn it over to her. Once the QDRO is fully accepted and in place, there shouldn’t be any way that could happen.

  25. Hi. Just found your response. Thank you! If my husband doesn’t draw on his pension until 67 CAN SHE DRAW IT BEFORE THEN? If he doesn’t draw his pension at all then dies are we( WIVES) both just out of luck. IT says my husband is “alternate payee” If he is “alternate payee” When he dies will her part stop? My husband and I have been together 25 years. He was married to her just over ten. When he dies will I receive the pension or will she? QDRO doesn’t address who gets it after death. He said I was the beneficiary for his pension. I’m very worried about this because I stayed home to take care of the kids. What I would have made working is less than childcare for 3 kids. Since then I was in a car accident 10 years ago and unable to work. applied for ssd or ssi they said husband made to much. So when he dies I have no money coming in. unless it is pension or SS when I turn 60. If he dies before she gets paid can she go after his pension? 25% or all? QDRO says IF HE GET PAID he has to pay her, or she can put a lien on our house or assets. until paid in full. We are NOT trying to cheat her. In the past we had over 200 police reports. AGAINST HER. Finally got away from her Now we are sucked back in. I’ve tried being really nice. She thinks he’s going to get more money than he is. That’s why he is going to wait until 67 so she won’t cause problems for us. Because it will be closer to what she thinks he will get.

  26. My husband wants to draw his pension. His ex wife want 25,000 to buy her out. That is more than half. Decree says she get 25% of 30 years, He has 14 1/2. Vested. It also says the money goes to him. Then he has to pay her. She thinks he is going to get 1,400. a month. He is not. He is on SSD. He’ll turn 62 this week. They said around 900. They said teamster was going broke in 2025. If he waits until 67 he might get it for 1 year. But even then it will only be 1,200. a month. If my husband pays for the QDRO, and she doesn’t like how it reads. Then does my husband have to keep going back to attorney until she’s happy? She has already said she didn’t have any money to pay for it. CAN HE MAKE HER PAY FOR HALF ? IF MONEY COMES TO HIM, DOES HE HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON HERS? Then pay her. Can husband put all of it in an IRA or invest it until he is 70 then pay her? If she won’t agree on QDRO can she prevent him from getting it?

    1. He must do exactly what the divorce agreement says he must do. If it says they will have a QDRO drawn up, then that’s what they must do. If it says that each will pay for half, then each must do that. Generally, with a QDRO in place, the plan administrator would make the payments to her and she would pay taxes on the funds she receives. If that isn’t what his divorce agreement says they will do, then they must do what it says.

  27. Question: Married 16 years in CA. Divorce was finalized. In my paperwork I have to pay my ex part of my retirement and 457 plan when I retire (not retiring for another 7-10 years). When I retire I need to complete the QDRO. My question is this: Does she get 8 years of the retirement (half the # of years we were married)? She isn’t entitled to what I earned after our divorce was finalized correct?

    1. Generally, divorce agreements provide that a QDRO will be prepared that provides that she get a portion of your retirement, and then the QDRO is prepared soon after the divorce is final. The amount that she is to get is specified in the divorce agreement, generally by a formula: for defined benefit plans such as 401(k)s, it is generally the money in the plan at a certain date plus earnings thereon after that, and for pensions it is a formula determined by the time that you worked under the plan during the marriage divided by the total time you worked under the plan. I don’t know what your divorce agreement provides. If you need interpretation, talk to an attorney. And get that QDRO prepared as soon as you can, so it is in place and you don’t have to go through interpreting your agreement again at retirement.

  28. I need help. My ex has a retirement he is retired and gets his monthly payments. I am the 100% survivor beneficiary. I will get 100% of his pension when he passes. We have a qdro stating so in our divorce agreement. My problem is that he is withdrawing loans against his pension or using his pension as collateral or something like that and may never pay it back . How can he legally do that ? How can this be legal? what’s stopping him from taking all the money out and putting it into a different kind of retirement? Or him just spending it all so nothing left for me? Is there any way I can stop it? His pension is all I’ll have in my retirement when I do retire.

    1. If you have prepared a QDRO and served it on the plan administrator, and that QDRO says that he is not to take loans or transfer the funds elsewhere, then it is not legal for the plan administrator to allow him to do so. Otherwise, if they are letting him do that, then it must be legal. If your divorce agreement was that he wouldn’t do that, but you didn’t let the plan administrator know he wasn’t to do that by filing a QDRO with them, then they have no idea about your agreement. Consult your attorney right away to find out what the agreement was and what recourse you have against him.

  29. When preparing a QDRO, can you split the payout and keep a portion and rollover a portion to an IRA? How likely is it that plan administrators will pay out in one lump sum? We are in the beginning stages of filing for divorce and I want to be sure to know the details. I will need some money to live on and move but don’t want to pay taxes on the whole amount.

    1. If the retirement plan allows for payouts (most plans that are not government or school pensions do allow payouts), then you can have part paid out to you and you’ll pay tax on that portion, and part rolled into an IRA in your name that will be taxed in the future as you draw out funds from it.

  30. What do I do if my X- husband cashed out my retirement portion before I had a chance to receive it? Where do you go from there?

    1. If your divorce settlement agreement awarded a portion of your former spouse’s retirement to you, you should have prepared a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to let the plan administrator know what portion was yours and what to do with it. If you did serve a QDRO on the plan administrator and it was accepted, then you should go after the plan for paying out your portion to your ex. If you failed to serve the plan administrator with a QDRO, they did not know that any portion had been awarded to you and correctly made payments to your ex. So now you’ll need to go after your ex for reimbursement.

  31. Took my QDRO one 1/2 years my Lawyer put 2 different Divorce date .QDRO paper keep getting Rejected . still working getting my roth account my self. x husband giving me hard time . Lawyer I went to will not help out what i am in Title in my divorce . when pay Lawyer in fill you think they help you not case .

  32. My question is I was married to my ex husband for 24 years. We had an absolute divorce. At the time, i was unaware that I could have retrieve my ex-husband retirement. Therefore, it was not in the final order. Can I go back to NC court to retrieve his retirement? Or what are my options?

    1. If his retirement was not addressed at the time of your divorce in your divorce agreement, then you may be able to open up the case again for the purpose of dividing an after-discovered asset. Contact an attorney in your area to see how that works where you are.

  33. My wife’s x husband sends her a very small portion of his retirement each month. Does she pay taxes on that? She never received a 1099-R?

    1. It sounds as though the retirement is being paid to him as the retiree by the retirement company, so he is the one that receives the 1099-R. So when he giver her part of his net retirement check, she won’t owe tax since he was the one taxable on it.

  34. Kathleen McBride

    Hello folks,
    I’m in the process of a divorce. my first lawyer screwed me over and turns out he was friends with my husbands attorney who is a PBA attorney and my husband an NYPD deputy commissioner. long story short, i’m divorcing because he was extremely abusive and financially bankrupted us for years. i was working 120 hr weeks and 5 jobs thinking it’s just expensive on Long Island, even a 100 hr work week the day before my c-section. I finally got my husband to go to mediation but the mediator wrote the settlement horribly to the point my husband greatly benefitted. i meanwhile during the marriage was threatened into quitting my job stating i’d lose custody of our kids because “no one would give me custody working a corporate job in manhattan”, told he’d retire, take full custody, that i’d never see my kids. etc etc etc. long story. i’ve amended the settlement myself, did my research, got my husband to agree to pretty much everything including giving me the house (so i don’t hire a forensic accountant) but i need to make sure the pension part of this is written correctly. to my knowledge, i get 50% of 50%, so 25% of his 457 deferred comp, variable supplement fund and nys pension. they say it starts at the time he was served, not the divorce decree. the following is the settlement wording. I need to know if it’s right.
    23
    3.3.3.1 List of Assets.
    3.3.3.1.1 New York City Police Department.
    (i) The Husband has a pension with the New York City Police Pension Fund. The commencement date for the Husband’s accruing of benefits for that pension is 04.30.19981.
    (ii) The Husband is entitled to a variable supplement by virtue of his employment with the New York City Police Department. The commencement date for the Husband’s accruing of benefits for that benefit is 04.30.19981. The Husband is currently employed by the New York City Police Department.
    (iii) The Husband has a New York City Deferred Compensation Plan, Participant ID 438183account, account number __________, with __________________, the current balance of which is approximately $260,000, by virtue of his employment with the New York City Police Department. The commencement date for the Husband’s accruing of benefits for that benefit is 04.30.19981. The Husband is currently employed by the New York City Police Department.
    The Wife shall be entitled to receive 50% of the marital portion of each of those assets. The marital portion shall be a fraction, the numerator of which shall be the number of months from the date of the marriage through the date of the commencement of the pending divorce action, 18th day of January, 2017 and the denominator shall be the total number of monthly of the referenced employment (the “Marital Portion”). Those transfers shall be may by Domestic Relations Order, Qualified or otherwise, to be paid for as follows: _____________________. 50% by each party. The Husband shall be under no obligation to elect any benefit that includes survivor benefits, second to die options, or any other similar option.

    3.3.3.1.2 The Husband is entitled to a retirement annuity from the Superior Officers Union. The commencement date for the Husband’s accruing of benefits for that benefit is 04.30.1981. The Husband is currently employed by the New York City Police Department.
    The Wife shall be entitled to receive 50% of the marital portion of that asset. The marital portion shall be a fraction, the numerator of which shall be the number of months from the date of the marriage through the date of the commencement of the pending divorce action, 18th day of January, 2017 (the “Marital Portion”). That transfers shall be may by Domestic Relations Order, Qualified or otherwise, to be paid for as follows: _____________________.

  35. Aloha,

    I am in the same situation as J.L. (posted July 2018). I was a housewife on my exhusband’s request and when we got divorced the QDRO was within the decree and sent to the union. The Decree stated that I get 50% of my ex’s annuity & pension. The decree also stated that I can take my annuity when I wanted. So the union divided the annuity and put mine in a separate account. I went to withdraw it and they gave me only half and stated that its for hardship and if I wanted the rest to take them to court. So I filed a motion and my attorney sent them a summons to appear 3 or 4 times and they never came. O won on default to I tried again and then they filed court docs for me to appear. When I went to court I didn’t have an attorney as my prior one got me the judgement and was done. The union stated they couldn’t give me the funds as it had something to do with taxes and asked that I don’t come after them for the funds. Then I also found out during that time that my exhusband bought a $1.2 million dollar home and put a substantial $500,000 – $600,000 down payment! When asked where the funds came from he wouldn’t answer so I suspected he withdrew funds from a retirement account so we tired to subpoena his pension (that I own 50%) fund statements and all the union did was say we are sending it to the wrong address so we resend the subpoena to the given address and the same response comes back and to this day they still haven’t handed anything to us with a subpoena. Why is this happening, can he withdrawal funds without my consent and we read the pension fund rules and it states that I can roll my portion over to a qualifying IRA which I have and still they won’t do it. Please advise what options I have.

    1. I don’t know why this is happening — it sounds as though you are not complying with their rules, no matter how hard you try. You have identified what options you have, and it sounds as though you want to roll your share into an IRA, so contact them to find out exactly what paperwork they need for you to do that. As for the source of the funds for his down payment, if you have evidence that there was a retirement account that wasn’t identified or divided during the marriage, you can take steps to get it divided now. You can see if he took the funds for the down payment from a retirement account by getting a copy of his tax return for that year to see if he reported that as retirement income.

  36. kayla

    June 19, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    y mother is supposed to be receiving a portion of my dads retirement I believe 40% or 45% is the agreement in the divorce paperwork however has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer doesn’t have much longer to live is there a way or is she able to will that her portion of what she’s going to be getting to Her daughters? If so how do we go about doing that do we have to have power of attorney to one of us or do we file like a Will? If so how do we go about doing that I just found out 3 days ago I am totally at a loss here I have no idea where to start how to go about doing any of this
    In the above my sister had this but they never had any kids, She had changed it to allow for her to receive longer payments instead of it going to any beneficiary. She ended up passing away not to long after, He has only been retired for around 4 years or so. Is there anyway to still get the benefits from his retirement ? If so what is required in doing it?

    1. If your mother was awarded a portion of the retirement in the property settlement, and it was already in pay status with payments being received, then it is likely that the election made when it went into pay status was payments for life that would end upon her death. If instead she received a portion of the retirement in her own name and made her own election when it went into pay status, you’d need to know what that election was. If she elected for her life alone, then payments will end when she dies. But if she elected that payments would continue after her death to a survivor, then that person would continue getting paymenets.

  37. I am receiving a portion of my ex’s retirement through A QDRO. My question is if I live with other person (man) will I stop receiving my monthly payment?

  38. My mom is 70-yrs.old and she only receives $250 from the retirement. Divorced for about 30-yrs. Now. She was always a housewife and never had a 401K retirement plan. I have a friend that mentioned she should be collecting from my dads retirement money and if he had a 401K plan. Is this true? And if so, what’s her next step to claim her benefits? Please help??

  39. Hi my husband recently quit his job and left me also he has been on drugs and is out of control. He is now trying to get his 401k can he do this and leave me with nothing?

    1. The 401(k) is in his name, so if he decides to take the money out of it, he probably can. You probably can get a court order that prevents that, but I think you’ll need to take legal action to do so, such as filing for divorce or legal separation. Talk to an attorney about what is the simplest thing you can do to prevent him making withdrawals.

  40. My divorce stated I received half of all retirement and pensions vested as of the date of the divorce. Ex’s attorney was to do QDRO etc. 10+ years later I am still fighting for my correct share of a pension that was not divisible by QDRO. He is paying me based on an estimated benefit statement from our divorce. Now I find out he has been turning it is as a 1099R on his taxes and not sending me a copy. The judge told us to find out if it was taxable as he kept wanting to call it alimony. Told him irs said it’s not alimony and I would acknowledge service to correct it as alimony. Heard nothing now three years later I find out he has been sending 1099R to IRS but not to me! I want a lump sum to get away from this man. I am stuck as to what to do next. All attorneys I know wrong their hands and say Geesh I don’t know.

  41. My ex had a private pension at the time of our divorce. We were married 23 years and I was awarded 50% f the pension. Since there was no way to do a QDRO (Fl, private etc..) there was specific wording regarding a specific date (Sept 1, 2018) and percentage he had to withdraw as a lump sum, as well as the date he was required to begin dispersal of the monthly payouts (I get 50% monthly). He had my 50% share ($55,000) of the lump sump direct deposited into my bank account ($31,500 total deposited), minus witholding ($23, 500 – almost 45%). My question is, now that it’s time to file 2018 taxes, he has issued me a 1099-MISC for the $55,000 with no accounting for the withholding. He is refusing to either issue or have issued a 1099-R accounting for the payout and the witholding. The difference is nearly $20,000 in tax liability to me. What do I do?

    1. If your divorce agreement said he was to withdraw half and give it to you, then he is the one taxable on the withdrawal, not you, since it was his pension. He has no business issuing you a 1099, since he didn’t make a payment to you that falls into any of the 1099-MISC categories. And he is not a pension, so he cannot issue you a 1099-R. And I question whether the net amount he received was only $31,500 when he made the withdrawal. He needs to provide you with evidence of what he received when he made the withdrawal, because that is what he should have gotten.

  42. My ex-spouse and I were divorced in 1994, and the decree mentioned that upon his retirement I would receive part of his pension. I recently found out my ex-spouse has retired so I called MERS his retirement company only to find out my attorney never filed a QDRO. The attorney no longer practices. Should I have another attorney draw up a QDRO and present it so that I can begin to receive my part of the pension?

  43. Good evening. I was married 16 years, a stay at home mother of 4. I recently went through a divorce and was awarded 55% of my ex’s retirement and 55% of his pension. It is to go through quadro I am 47 and barely making it. Can I get his pension or retirement now ?
    Thank you for your time in sdvance

    1. Generally , you can begin getting payments from a pension at the earliest date at which he can get payments. Once you have the QDRO you can ask the plan administrator to tell you when that is. Or perhaps whoever is drawing up the QDRO can find out for you, and whether you have any option to get cash instead of an interest in the pension. Most pensions don’t give you that option, but who knows, maybe this one does.

  44. I was divorced in 2012. In the decree my ex was to receive half of my TSP that I earned during the marriage and $35,000 to equalize the marriage. He received a check from TSP for half of what was earned during the marriage. I did not have the money to pay the $35,000. Now my ex took me to court and held me in contempt. The judge issued an order for the money to be taken out of TSP. This money is now $120,000. The judge included the original $35,000 from the divorce decree, plus interest, and attorney fees. Is TSP allowed to cut him a check for this judgement?

    1. If the judge ordered that the TSP pay him that money, and that is served on the plan administrator and determined to be a qualified domestic relations order, then the plan administrator can write the check, if such withdrawals are allowed by the plan.

  45. I will be 65 years old next year. Her attorney when we divorced in 2007 submitted a QDRO for me to sign that I must retire at 65 so my ex can collect her share of my pension the years we were married(20 years). I did not sign the QDRO because if I retire at 65 my pension will be cut in half minus what I owe her along with state, federal, property taxes and basic living expenses. That doesn’t leave me with very much money, even with Social Security(I want to wait till I’m 70 to maximize my SS) I will not make enough money to support myself. Plus I enjoy the job I have been working at for the past 43 years.. Is it possible since I did not sign the agreement to simply pay her directly (minus the tax rate)? I do have an estimate form the pension office on how much money I am entitled to during the years were we married.

    1. You certainly can pay her, but that would likely be considered a gift from you to her. And you’ll still have the pension obligation. Consider getting the QDRO rewritten so that it doesn’t say you have to retire. She should be able to begin collecting her portion at the earliest date at which you can retire, so if you could have retired at 65, she can collect even though you continue to work.

  46. I was awarded part of my ex husbands retirement during our divorce. A QDRO was filled out and filed. My attorney informed me I would not receive the money until he actually retired. Which he just recently did. How do I go about getting my funds ? This is from both a military and state pension.
    Thank you.

  47. I was a stay at home mom for most of my 17-year marriage – when my ex filed for divorce, he got himself a great attorney while I had to settle for a crackerjack lawyer because I had no money. (he took all of the $ out of the household upon separation). I was awarded 50% of his pension through a QDRO which would be paid by either or both of us. Fast forward 16 years – he met someone and wanted to finalize this last step in our divorce decree. He had a lifelong position in a company that does pensions and insurance and offered to have their 3rd party actuarial company do it and he would pay a lawyer also since I never recovered financially. He got an estimate done on what I would be entitled to and had his lawyer write something up for the plan administrator. The plan said no to the wording until the 3rd attempt. I was given the monthly amount and told that since the company he works for considers age 60 to be full retirement, I would be able to collect my benefit when I attained that age. I had no reason to feel as though I was being misled – he works for a major corporation and retirement benefits are what he’s done all of his life. So I agree. Fast forward 2 years. I call the company and start asking questions on when I can start my benefits – I am told, if I start at age 60, I will receive a 6-year reduction in benefits because I am not the employee. Ugh. Ok, I will wait. I then find later in the year, that he decided to start his own consulting business and will retire the first of the month following his 60th. Lucky him. Because he did that, I was forced to take my 50% at the reduction that I declined because the Plan states the supplemental payee’s benefit must begin once the employee begins receiving his benefits. So now I am receiving almost 1/2 of what I should have gotten. Seems pretty unfair to me. If I don’t have my own account and am considered a supplemental payee without any beneficiary needs because if I pre-decease him, my money goes back to him, shouldn’t he be responsible for paying the taxes on the whole enchilada? I’ve asked for a copy of the plan so I can see where all of this is stated – no response. I asked to see the QDRO calculation of my benefits – no response. I am completely in the dark and feel like I’ve had nothing but disadvantages at every turn. The snarky actuary told me my divorce decree means nothing against the plan – the plan is written in stone – but why isn’t any of this information supplied to me? I know he lied to me although he did pretend that he didn’t know. But how do I know what the plan states? And how much was actually earned (and divided) with to and from dates? He’s had the upper hand all the way and took advantage of my curbside life. It’s disgusting. I would recommend all spouses to skip the costly QDRO and settle on a trade-off or buy-out or another means of splitting retirement benefits at the time of divorce.

  48. I’m a retired GM worker from Ohio. I am divorced from my wife and am told that she is entitled to a portion of my retirement given the amount of years I worked which was 39 and the amount of years I was married which was almost 27yrs. I am 60 yrs old, (too young to receive social security) so I’m riding on a retirement supplement from my job of $3170.00 a month until I’m 62 then my partial social security benefit would kick in. Is there a specific formula that must be followed in paying my ex spouse a portion of your retirement, because she is trying to take me to court to receive 80% of half of my total retirement granted she has already received her portion of my 401K through the QDRO? I have to live after retirement and if she gets what she’s trying to get that would leave me somewhat destitute as far as I see it. Could you give me your take on this?

    1. Look at your divorce agreement to see what portion of the pension she was awarded. If the pension wasn’t brought up during the divorce, she may be able to open up the divorce case to get it divided however your state law provides.

  49. I have a huge question so me and my ex husband are now divorced since august and we both settled on me getting 50% of what he made in the years that we were married. 2009-2015 after we settled and signed the divorce paperwork in front of a judge she declared we were finally divorced. I contacted him a few times regarding the 401k recently and he said he submitted the paperwork with his work. (i’m not sure what paperwork it was) and that when he retires ill get my money. I am only 28 and he is 30 years old. Ive been told that I can get my part of the money of course with them taking a 10-20% chunk out, but I dont mind im sleeping on the floor working for pennies and would like what is entitled to me to get a little head start.

    1. In order for your portion of the plan to be securely in your name, you must files a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) with the plan administrator. The QDRO must be signed by both of you, so whatever he filled out at work wasn’t what is necessary to secure your portion. In the QDRO you can provide that the funds are to be paid directly to you, if you want to spend them now rather than saving for your retirement. They will withhold at the going tax rates, and then you’ll report the income and withholding on your tax return for the year of withdrawal, and pay any additional taxes due.

  50. My spouse’s attorney is holding the QDRO’s although they were approved a year ago. She does not have a stay and although we divorced over a year ago. This same attorney had my bank accounts frozen since my case is pending appeal. I was unable to get a stay from the appeals court. Later a lawyer filed for an automatic stay pending appeal. The Judge through it out without a hearing for the “surety” Although this same attorney told the court that I was holding up the QDRO’s that they never signed – I printed a copy – signed and served them on her. She then stated “we decided not to sign them” pending the Judge’s decision on the freezing of my accounts. This lawyer had my accounts frozen since I had no stay – yet she doesn’t have a stay for the QDRO’s and is doing what she said i was doing – what to do?

    1. The QDRO is not in effect until it is approved by the plan administrator. I don’t know what impact it has that “the attorney is holding the QDROs although they were approved” means. If the were approved by the plan administrator, then I would think that is sufficient and the attorney couldn’t interfere. It sounds from the rest of your message that they were never signed and submitted to the plan administrator for their approval. If that is the case I guess you’ll need to return to court to get the judge to intervene.

  51. I have a signed DOPO approved by OPERS to receive 50% of my ex’s pension. He is at retirement age, but refuses to retire because he does not want me to receive this money. Is there anything I can do?

  52. My Exhusband Died in 2017 from cancer. He was only 50 years old when he died. He had been married for nine years to his current wife, now widow. His widow is younger than me she is 37, I am 51.
    I have two children with my ex-husband, the current wife had no children with him. When my ex-husband died my oldest child was 18, the youngest was 15. I am already collecting Social Security on the youngest child.

    My question is, am I allowed to collect my ex-husband’s social security? Because I am older than his current wife, and I will be eligible to receive it first, because of my age being older.
    Also, my ex husband and I were married twice. We were married the first time for a little more than four years. The second time we got married, we were legally married for almost 10 years, but the last five years of the marriage we were living in separate residences.

    I feel because I was married to him twice I should receive his Social Security, and his current wife should not receive it. And also because I am older and will be able to receive it before she is able to.

    1. Since you are the parent caring for a child under sixteen of a deceased worker, you are entitled to benefits worth 75% of the deceased worker’s benefit amount. The child is also entitled to a survivor benefit equal to 75% of the deceased parent’s benefit until the child turns 18 (or 19 if still in high school). When you are age 60 you can collect reduced surviving divorced spouse retirement benefits. Don’t concern yourself with what his widow can receive, it doesn’t affect what you receive.

  53. My ex husband died from cancer in 2017, he was 50. I am now 52. We have 2 children together. When he died our oldest was 18 and the youngest was 15. I have collected social security for my 15 yr old.
    Am I allowed to collect his social security early. He was remarried and had been married to current wife for 9 years. I was also remarried at the the time of his death, but I am divorced now. My ex and I were married twice. The first marriage only last 4 years the 2nd marriage legally lasted 9 years, though we were living separately the last 4 years of the 2nd marriage.
    His current wife is younger (37) and she is power of attorney and trustee of everything. He was in a lot of debt and had tax problems.
    My question is, will I be able to collect his social security? Because of his ex wife being younger, and me being older, and able to collect sooner than her.
    Thanks
    Melissa

    1. As the caregiving parent of a child under 16 of a deceased worker, you can collect benefits. But it doesn’t sound as though you will be entitled to retirement benefits since you weren’t married for 10 consecutive years.

  54. I’ve been divorced 7 years, we we”re married over 10 years. In the divorce, I was awarded a car that he bought for our daughter (didn’t receive it) and a portion of his retirement. I’ve since lost the divorce decree. I don’t know who his retirement plan is through. He has since remarried. Is it anything I can do about the car? I didn’t have the funds to fight for the car. How do I find out about his retirement?

    1. Get a copy of your divorce agreement from the clerk’s office in the court in which it was filed. The name of the plan should be stated there, and you will need to have a specialist draw up a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to serve on the plan administrator of the plan. As for the car, you’ll need to find out how to force his performance — you may have to ask an attorney if there isn’t someone in the clerk’s office who can tell you.

  55. In 2009 we filed our QDRO for my ex LACity fire pension/retirement. Our divorce was final in 2002, He recently told me he is retiring from la city in 3 yrs after 40 yrs of employment. From reading the above Q&A I see that the plan adminstrator should have been served the QDRO. This is the 1st I heard of this. How can I find out who this is and if they have been given the filed court QDRO

  56. I’m trying to get divorce , my husband want to have share with my 401k hos retired and his only means of income is social security and he don’t have investments in life. Been married for 22 yrs and for that marriage yrs we have his only working for about 5 yrs. the retired. I was the one providing hos health insurance until now. My question is do you think the court will granted his wish about my 401 k. I leave in Michigan and no minor kids involved in the divorced process

  57. Divorce after 35 yrs received half of his Sep to my Ira transfered. Over 59.5 yrs who pays the taxes on withdrawal me or him?

  58. Hello, Reading all the questions and answers from you have been beneficial. My husband retired last May 2017; we have been married 10 years. His ex- wife recently just filed a Domestic relations order. They were married 17 years and in the divorce decree states her entitlment to his Pension. Well,all this time has gone by and he has been receiving his benefits for the last year already. Can we contest this? They have been divorced this long and we have been married for 10 years. Thank you

    1. Since his divorce agreement says she is entitled to part of his pension, then she is entitled to it. Any chance he had of having that agreement set aside have surely expired during the 10+ years that have passed, but he can certainly consult an attorney in the state in which he was divorced to find out. I’m not an attorney and not qualified to give you legal advice.

  59. my name is wanda f foster,i was married to mayburn e. foster,jr. we where married 23years, I worked and helped send him to college. we had 3 beautifull kids. 2 boys and 1 girl. this man cheated on me from first day. he drank and gambled ,you name it he did it. my children and I went through pure hell. he mentally abused us and my children suffer really bad right now from his abuse. my middle son really needs mental help and it is all because of eddie foster.
    he kept his retirement funds from me and tried to keep social security from me. all 3 of my children hate him so bad they do not even want to hear his name. I just recently found out that he had a benebfit or 401k that he has kept from me all these years. that is suppose to be half mine.my children and I deserve everything we can drag out of him…if is ashame men are so sorry. I am asking GOD to ask you to help us or me to get those benefits that he is cheating me out of. I heard he is getting 3800.00 mt. and I only get 1100mt. I wear goodwill and he goes to best shops. he is sending his chec right now to Africa to he says to save the elephants. we all think he is nuts. fter all he has done I do not care, but I do want what he owes me.

  60. Divorce just finalized. QDRO has not even started yet. 401k of mine and 2 pensions from ex spouse is going to be equally divided by order of the court. How will we each be able to save our part? Will i be able to save my 50% on my own 401k or an ira? Does it matter if its a 401k or pensions? I ask because my attorney indicated that my ex spouse would have to open an ira account and not me, but it makes no sense. My x spouse is not trustful and i would not want my ex spouse to save my 50%. Please help.

    1. In general, QDROs for pension plans provide that your share of the pension funds will be paid to you as soon as he is eligible to retire or does retire. QDROs for defined contribution plans such as 401ks usually provide that your share will be rolled into an IRA that you open in your name to receive those funds. Most IRAs do not require a QDRO to divide, and usually the plan custodian will roll your share into an IRA in your name. You can then transfer those funds to an IRA at a different financial institution if you like.

  61. Do Plan administrator (his company) for 401k and Custody for IRA provide information to me if I request ?
    11 years of marriage. Very painful divorce was finally finalized in 2013 after escaping to DV shelter with the children in 2009. I was entitled 1/2 of ex’s retirement accounts (IRA and 401K). But QDRO haven’t been completed yet. Under all kinds of abuse and controlling, I have no financial information at all. Everything was in his hands. He provided retirements information to QDRO’s specialist I hired 2 years ago finally but he refused to provide it to me and QDRO’s specialist also refused to provide copies to me that they received from ex. There is a few questionable things in calculation (tracing) for draft QDROs that the specialist wrote up. I just discovered he did withdraw a part of money and hid it. How can I get information of ex’s retirements accounts?
    Divorce division was very very unfair. Ex hid more assets and I could get nothing. Plus, all my hard work saved money before marriage was stolen, ex’s personal loan from my mother (her hard worked saved money) wasn’t repaid (large sum). These retirement is only money I could get. I don’t want to give up anymore.
    Thank you very much.

    1. Once the QDRO is in place then you can get information from the plan administrator. Until then, he has no authority to release any information to you. To get information sooner, you’ll need to have your attorney subpoena it or your husband request it and provide it to you.

  62. My husband has stock options that aren’t transferable, therefore, he will execute the stock, sell shares and give me the appropriate amount minus the “appropriate amount of tax implications that he will incur”. I have two questions:
    1. How can I find out if the amount he is taking out for his tax implications is accurate?

    2. Once I receive these monies via QDRO, will I be taxed for them as income?

    1. He will receive a notice of exercise showing the taxes that were withheld from the transaction, so you can see if he’s giving you the correct amount. Since the transaction is reported on his tax return as the sale of his options, you shouldn’t have to report them and pay tax on your tax return.

  63. What if your husbands retirement plan does not recognize Quadro’s, and that practice has been in place for years and recognized by the Courts, and he pays you directly. How do we each report the income?

    1. If he pays you the pre-tax gross amount, then he’ll nominate it to you on his tax return (likely on line 21 of Form 1040), and you’ll include it on your tax return as income, also on line 21. If he pays you after-tax (post-tax amount), then he’ll pay the tax on it and you won’t pay tax.

  64. I have a court ordered document stating that I receive 50% of my husbands pension, but no QDPRO. We divorced in 2000. He was fired from the Federal Government in 2010. How do I find out if he received his pension already; and if so what are my options? I don’t know if the order was submitted to his Personnel office. What’s the best route to take?

    1. You need to get the federal government’s functional equivalent of a QDRO filed and served. For pensions it is the Court Order Acceptable for Processing or COAP, and for the Federal Thrift Savings Plan it is referred to as a Retirement Benefits Court Order.

  65. My divorce was final in january 2018, there was a charge to have the retirment split of $800.00. We both paid half of that but i still havent received anything yet. How long does that take?

    Debbie

    1. The Qualified Domestic Relations Order will need to be prepared by someone, then served on the plan administrator to divide up the plan. It sounds as though you haven’t received the QDRO yet, so contact the person drawing it up to find out when it will be ready to be signed and served. Once it is served, the plan administrator has several months to approve it, but it should take less than that.

  66. My court order was approved and filed with OPM Office of Personnel Management COBB Court Order Benefits Branch. My ex husband retired from the USPS 2 years ago and has been receiving his FERS benefits. I have not gotten my portion of his benefits. So far I’ve called 5 contact numbers at OPM and they told me the funds are set aside for me but have not been distributed. Two weeks ago they told me to fax my direct deposit information. I followed up today and still no process for funding. I can even get the Retirement Claim #. They say be patient.

    1. I am going thru this w/ RR Retirement. They said it would be AT LEAST 90 days. I mailed them direct deposit info certified return receipt over a month ago w/ a tracking # showing it was delivered. I did a follow up call this week, they claim THEY NEVER GOT IT. The person on the phone told me she would take my info & email legal. I don’t trust them so I snail mailed again a dup of what I sent last month & will do a follow up in 2 weeks. I even got a green return receipt card signed & gave the name over the phone, they said they never even heard of that person! I am trying to keep records of phone calls & emails & snail mails so I can prove this if necessary.

  67. Susan M Katsock

    My husband and his ex divorced in 2000. They had a QDRO in order. He paid his half to have it worked out (she wanted it done and agreed to pay half) but she dropped the ball and never paid her half. So an order was never signed. What happens now?

  68. Good afternoon, my parents legally separated in 2003 and there was a QDRO in place and she was receiving half of his annuity. Unfortunately, he passed away 2 months ago and she is very nervous and thinks that she will no longer receive the annuity payments. They stopped as soon as my father passed away. OPM – He worked for the post office and Office of Professional Management said that it takes months for them to approve or deny the claims. If there was a court order in place to receive half of his annunity while he was alive, will she continue to receive them now that he has passed away? Please help and thank you very much in advance! He also had a life insurance that he never updated and there were other beneficiaries listed. I assume they get his life insurance benefit.

    1. If she doesn’t have the court order paperwork that answers this question, she should contact the plan administrator to find out what the plan provides. It is possible that her benefit was separated out from his with the QDRO and she’ll continue getting hers. As for life insurance, it goes to the people listed as beneficiaries.

      1. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your answer. Hopefully this will bring her some peace of mind. I have been reading about these situations online and the answers seem to lead in her favor. Her attorney advised her not to get a divorce and to get that QDRO. She was granted half of his annuity which she receiving on a monthly basis because of the QDRO

  69. OK, I HAVE POSTED A FEW TIMES IN HERE & HAVE ANOTHER UPDATE & FOLLOW UP QUESTION…

    I JUST EMAILED THE QDRO ATTY & ASKED ABOUT THE MTA (NYC) QDRO/DRO.

    1ST HER PARALEGAL SUPPOSEDLY SNAIL MAILED THE NYC MTA ON OCT 16 29017 & THEN DEC 18 2017 FOR PRE-APPROVAL OF THE LANGUAGE & WE GOT NO RESPONSE.

    THEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO (FEB?) SINCE I ASKED QUESTIONS & THE MTA DID NOT RESPOND, SHE SENT A QDRO/DRO FOR THE MTA DIRECTLY TO THE JUDGE TO BE SIGNED (W/ NO PRE-APPROVAL OF THE LANGUAGE), SINCE THE MTA DID NOTHING. (NOT CONFIDENT THAT PARALEGAL SUBBED WHEN SHE CLAIMED TO AS I CAUGHT HER IN LIES.)

    SO THE PAPERS ARE STILL SITTING ON THE JUDGE’S DESK, PER THE ATTY. I DID CALL THE COURT 2 WEEKS AGO & THEY SAID THE PAPERS WERE ON THE JUDGES DESK.

    I JUST EMAILED THE QDRO ATTY & TO ASK IF THEY HAD GOT THE JUDGE-SIGNED QDRO BACK YET- HER RESPONSE WAS “NO”

    I ALSO ASKED: “Also, I was concerned because the 2 previous submissions (Oct & Dec 2017 for pre-approval on the language for the QDRO) seemed to be IGNORED by the MTA. Legally, are they ALLOWED to do that?

    I know the MTA in NYC is a HUGE entity & the pension dept. is probably understaffed, but I feel like their lack of response/holding up my payments seems to be in violation of SOMETHING.

    I know I am jumping the gun, but what do you do if they IGNORE the court ordered QDRO???”

    HER RESPONSE:

    “A Retirement Plan has 18 months to formally qualify a QDRO before any legal action can be taken against them.”

    DO YOU KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE & IF SO, WOULDN’T THE PAYMENTS HAVE TO BE RETROACTIVE OF THE DATE THEY GET THE PAPERS, OTHERWISE THEY CAN LEGALLY SCREW THE EX SPOUSE OUT OF 18 MONTHS OF $$$ ???

    IN MY CASE, HE RETIRED ALMOST 5 YEARS AGO & HAS BEEN GETTING PAID ALL ALONG, I HAVE GOTTEN NOTHING, FILED FOR DIVORCE ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO & HE HIRED THE QDRO ATTY IN AUGUST IT IS NOW APRIL & NOT EVEN A COURT/JUDGE SIGNED ORDER HAS BEEN SUBBED!

    IS THIS USUAL, THAT IT TAKE SO LONG/DRAGS OUT OR WAS THIS HANDLED POORLY?

    1. This is what I was able to find at the US Dept of Labor website:
      During the period in which the status of a domestic relations order is being determined, the plan administrator must take steps to ensure that amounts that would have been payable to the alternate payee, if the order were a QDRO, are not distributed to the participant or any other person. The plan administrator’s duty to separately account for and to preserve the segregated amounts is limited in time. ERISA provides that the plan administrator must preserve the segregated amounts for not longer than the end of an “18-month period.” This “18-month period” does not begin until the first date (after the plan receives the order) that the order wouldrequire payment to the alternate payee.

      So it looks as though the plan is required to hold back your share of the funds and not pay them to the employee spouse.

        1. Does that mean 18 months from the actual signed order from the court or the plan administrator approving the QDRO? I was in touch with the US Dept. of Labor and I was told once the plan administrator approves an order all is put on hold. Since the financial institution is aware there is an actual order pending. Yet the institution holding the pension and profit sharing stated the “accounts” are on hold unless they receive a document that I waived my rights to it. Yet the company who put the QDRO’s together said the profit sharing is only held for 18 months. So I find your answer interesting since I was told 18 months but from the time the approval letter came – approving the QDROs that need to be signed by the court. This all gets so confusing. Especially when you have a difficult x. Thanks.

  70. I was divorced 14 yrs ago and a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) was granted. It’s coming up on the retirement age for receiving the QDRO. I was told, I would receive it when he retires. Will I hear something from his company prior to his upcoming retirement? When I was divorced, was my Lawyer, my husbands Lawyer or was I supposed to file the QDRO with the Court and his Company? And if so to any one of those, how do I check that it was filed? I don’t want to be expecting it and 6 months later still in the dark as to what happened to it. I want to make sure I have my ducks are in order. Please help…

    1. Since the QDRO was prepared and presumably filed with the plan, contact the plan administrator to ask your questions. If they don’t have record of the QDRO, you will know that it was never filed with them and that you need to do so.

  71. I am currently going through a divorce and my former husband will be taking half of his 401k to give to me as part of the settlement. We are both over 60. I will have no other money as I gave up everything when I married him 5 yrs ago and moved from NYS to Texas. Can he just withdraw the money or is a qdro necessary? We currently live in Texas but I will be moving back to NYS. I know the money I receive is federally taxed but there is no state income tax in Texas. If the money comes to me after I move to NYS will it be taxable there?

    1. If your husband is retired and eligible to draw on his 401(k) without penalty, he could draw that out and give it to you, but he would owe tax on his withdrawals from the 401(k). If you want to roll it into an IRA in your name tax-free and make withdrawals as you need them, paying tax when you make withdrawals, that will require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. When you do take taxable withdrawals from a plan, it is taxed under the state laws of the state in which you reside at the time of the withdrawals.

  72. OK I HAVE A NEW QUESTION, LET’S SAY THE QDRO ATTY. MAILS A SIGNED COURT ORDER FOR A QDRO/DRO TO A LARGE COMPANY LIKE THE NYC MTA. THEY IGNORE THE PAPERS & NEVER RESPOND. THEY IGNORE ALL PHONE CALLS (I JUST GET ANSWERING MACHINES, LEAVE CONCISE MESSAGES) DON’T THEY HAVE TO ANSWER TO NYS COMPTROLLER OR NYS ATTY. GENERAL OFFICE?

    ISN’T IT ILLEGAL TO NOT PROCESS A COURT ORDERED QDRO/DRO ????

    WHO DO I CONTACT TO LODGE A COMPLAINT? THE QDRO ATTY IS CR@P & WANTS NOTHING TO DO W/ THIS! SAYS IT IS ONLY THEIR JOB TO SUBMIT PAPERWORK.

  73. I am going get a portion of my ex wife’s teachers pension through a qdro. We where married for over 20 years and the amount is substantial. If she wants to buy me out of my portion lets say she gives me half of the value, what is the best way to go about it? Can I take a lump sum cash payment and will it be taxed? She received the house in the divorce and it is also worth a substantial sum , she may sell it to buy me out.

    1. If she buys you out of the pension and she pays you cash she gets from the sale of the house or some other source, she likely will want to discount the amount she pays you. That’s because she is buying you out of the pension which will be taxable income to her when she receives payments at retirement, and she will be giving you cash which is a non-taxable property settlement.

      1. Thank you so much for the quick response. What buy out % of the value do you think would be fair? I was thinking 50% .

  74. My ex has a defined benefit plan with his ex employer. I’m supposed to receive $300/mo from it. We did a QDRO at divorce. He’s 65 now and I’m 55. If he’s collecting his pension, could I collect also or do I need to wait until I’m retirement age?

  75. Divorced 2 years, I get a spousal support payment and then an extra amount from his monthly retirement. Do you know if I have to file that as spousal support? He also had a TSP (Thrift Savings Plan) that I’m still waiting on that was agreed upon in divorce of 50% he did 20 years military and now works Federal. Just not sure how to file it when I do my taxes hope I explained this good enough thanks in advance for your help

    1. If the amount you get from his monthly retirement was characterized as spousal support in your divorce agreement, then it is spousal support. Once the paperwork is complete to transfer the portion of the TSP that is your to your name, do so right away. When you retire and begin taking payments from it, you will report those payments as retirement income.

  76. My ex husband and I are in the process of completing QDRO of one of his retirements that he is already receiving monthly payments. After the process is completed will i receive a monthly check also. Im 51.

  77. I got a NYS divorce in June of 2017, after being married for over 33 years to a man who worked for Metro North RR in NYC. The divorce said I was to get a part (i have details not wanting to post them) of his retirement benes (RR Retirement + NYC MTA). Ex hubby retired in June of 2013 & started getting his monthly checks on 7-1-2013. It’s Feb 2018 now! In August of 2017, he retained ( & I had to pay for 1/2) a QDRO paralegal. He refused to send her a copy of the stipulation of settlement, so I had to do that. I was in touch w/ the paralegal on a regular basis, as I am almost indigent after paying for my divorce & having had 4 surgeries in the span of a couple of years & now losing medical insurance. I do NOT want to apply for any assistance while waiting for the QDRO to hopefully process :0( My employment was minimal over the years as we had 2 disabled children, which I raised & it was a FULL TIME JOB. They are adults now. I am old(er) & basically unemployable. So anyway, The RR retirement said they got the QDRO on Oct 20th, approved the language & responded on Nov.3rd, 2017. The papers went back to the paralegal & looks like she did not submit to the courts till Dec. 18th, 2017. I called the court a few times in Jan. 2018, & on 1-14, was lucky enough to have a kind court attorney call me to tell me he reviewed the papers & the judge would be signing them within days. STILL NO WORD from RR Retirement, when I call them they say they have not yet gotten a response after they sent out a letter on Nov. 3, 2017. My communications w/ the paralegal have been very strained as I felt she lied to me on several occasions & things seems to move very slowly in her office. I told her my ex was retired almost 5 years & that he was hospitalized last fall for 8 days & it was urgent as an OLD(er) person for this to get processed. I’ve basically been doing MY OWN FOLLOW UP. There is also a NYC MTA Pension, that she said was submitted in Oct. 16th but the paralegal was unable to show any PROOF OF SUBMISSION. I sent her a certified letter in DEC 2017 asking for such, where she then “re-submitted” a notarized QDRO to the MTA plan admin. I have yet to hear after 2 months from either paralegal OR NYC MTA that the paperwork was approved, let alone APPROVED to be submitted to the court. In the interim I have been talking to my ex husband sporadically on the phone & even he is getting anxious & fearful about the process. I would HATE to have to file a complaint w/ THE NYS BAR or the NYS Comptroller’s office against either the paralegal & her attorney/boss or the NYC MTA. My objective is to collect the $ ASAP. I am willing to continue to do follow up or even mail things out certified return receipt, etc. SHORT of hiring ( I have no $ left) a new QDRO professional, how can I get the paralegal to “fast track” my paperwork (like it should have been from day 1) & how do I get to be able to communicate w/ the almighty Wizards of the NYC MTA Pension Funds?

    1. Ask the person who submitted the QDRO to followup with the plan administrator and get an estimated time that they expect to approve the QDRO. You can try to do it yourself and maybe they will talk to you, since your name is on the QDRO as well as his. It generally takes 2-3 months before the administrator approves it.

      1. UPDATE: The RR Retirement QDRO is approved & signed by the judge, I got a letter from RR Retirement saying that as of next month they are going to take out the percent of his $ that should go to me & it will prob take 90 days before I get my 1st payment. He has been retired almost 5 years, & I filed for divorce almost 2 years ago. I do recall my divorce attorney telling me that there would be a ‘retro-active’ amount- going forward from the date I filed from divorce till I got my 1st pension check, but the letter I got from the RR doesn’t make mention of that. The QDRO signed by the judge states I get my portion “upon commencement of his benefit (which was almost 5 years ago!) AND completion of paperwork by the spouse”. Does that “AND” clause eradicate the retro-active amount? The MTA (2nd QDRO) still has not responded- after I posted this in Feb. The atty. overseeing the paralegal got a wind of the situation & submitted a QDRO to the judge w/o pre-approval from the plan, stating that 2 QDROS were submitted to the MTA & both were ignored. I don’t see anything in this QDRO either addressing “arrears”. Also, when I spoke to my nasty ex on the phone, he said he “didn’t give a F__K how long it took, bec. the longer it took, the longer he gets his full amount & I get nothing”. Can a plan legally delay processing of an ex spouse’s QDRO when the plan participant is already retired & collecting $ just to screvv over his ex-spouse? He has been getting $$ for almost 5 years now, me zero :0( PS I found out he was in the hospital last fall BECAUSE HE GOT MERSA ON HIS PENIS. TALK ABOUT KARMA !!!!

  78. Can a Plan Administrator stop 401k funds from being rolled over to an IRA at another financial institution when a separate account has been set up for me according to the QDRO

    1. Once the Qualified Domestic Relations Order has been accepted, the plan administrator must do whatever it says, so if you specified that the funds be rolled into an IRA, that must be done. If the funds are rolled into an IRA at the same financial institution, you can instruct the IRA custodian at the other financial institution to capture the funds and transfer them through the ACAT automatic transfer system.

  79. My ex hubby is retiring at age 62 in April, 2019. We were married for over 15 years. He asked my son to ask me if I can sign a waiver stating I do not want part of his pension. He said if I do that, he will give me some $. Everyone I asked this question to says I should not sign it. I cannot retire for another 6 years and 6 months because I am waiting for full retirement age. He has been at his job for 32 years in Yonkers, NY and is in the Transport Worker’s Union, local 100. I may refuse to sign the waiver and get part of his pension. If I take part of it, will that make his amount less?

  80. Hello,
    My divorce decree states that I will receive 50% of the interest in my X-husbands pension arising out of his employment as of 9/2011 (our divorce date) together with 50% of all increases thereof occurring thereafter, vested or otherwise.
    I received the 50%, but when it states “along with 50 of all increases thereof occurring thereafter, vested or otherwise”…..What does that mean?
    Thanks!

  81. Jennifer N Whitehead

    My husband tells me that I cannot have my half of his Thrift Savings Plan until he retires. Others have told me that I can get it when we divorce. Is he trying to pull over a fast one on me? I don’t mind paying penalties for early withdraw but I have three kids and need to buy a house,s o sooner is better than later.

    1. Once you have a divorce decree or other court order that states how much of the TSP is to go to you, you will need to file it with the plan administrator to identify your portion and tell them what to do with it (distribute some or all of it to your IRA, distribute some or all of it to you). It may take a few months for them to review and accept the paperwork. Any funds that go into your IRA will not be taxable at the time they are sent to the IRA. Any funds that go to you will be taxable, but there will not be an early withdrawal penalty.

  82. I received 1/2 of my ex husbands military retirement in court, found out he has been retired for over 12 yrs. How do I go about getting it ?? We have been divorced for 17 yrs now.

    1. If you filed appropriate paperwork with the retirement administration people, then contact them to see what’s happening to your portion. If you didn’t file that paperwork, they have no idea that you have an interest in the military retirement, and so they likely are making all payments to him. If that’s the case, find out what paperwork is required and get it filed so you can begin getting your share of the retirement. As for what he’s already received, talk to an attorney about what legal action you need to take to get the payments to him stopped until it is determined how much he owes you and you reach an agreement as to how you will be paid.

  83. My divorce was finalized in 2015.
    I have the QDRO and it was filed with the courts. I still have not received my half of his retirement, deferred Comp, or the $4000 back spousal support settlement that was to be taken from his half of the deferred comp awarded to me. The retirement company said I cant get mine until he retires. The deferred comp is giving me the runaround and ignoring me. What do I file to get the court to make them pay!
    California

  84. I was divorced in 1998. Everything was settled in the divorce procedures and court ordered by the judge. A QDRO was written up for me to be able to claim my 50% of his pension when necessary, He took an early retirement from his employer of 30 years at the age of 60. I am receiving a monthly payment, however, I feel that the amount I’m receiving is incorrect. Is it possible for an employee to split his entitled monthly pension income into two or more ways to keep me from getting the whole amount that I am entitled to? The amount that I’m receiving, I find it very hard to believe that he is able to live on his half for a month. Our divorce was not pleasant and there were devious things done toward me throughout the divorce proceedings. It would not surprise me that he would do something like what I suggested above.

    Any help to my question is appreciated. Thank you.

  85. I am trying to help my brother-in-law with his QDRO. He is always working and doesn’t seem to have time to deal with this. The QDRO was filed over a year ago but we have heard nothing from the administrator. When I called them to see what was happening they wouldn’t discuss any details with me except to say there was a QDRO in place (this is for a 401K and a pension plan). Is there some way that he can legally give me the authority to talk to the plan administrator?

  86. My back child support was taken out of my ex’s pension last Monday. It’s been a week. Any idea when it will be deposited into my account?

  87. Hello, my spousal alimony will stop when my ex retires, y am supposed to get 50% of his pension, he is eligible to retire early and get his pension from private city govt employer at age 58 on april 2018, my question is, can I also get my portion of the pension if he does? I am 56,

    1. If you filed the Qualified Domestic Relations Order to notify the plan administrator of your share of the plan, they will begin sending you payments at the time that he retires. If you did not, be sure to get that paperwork into place ASAP. If you don’t, they will be paying him the entire amount because they think the entire plan is to go to him.

  88. Cheryl Anne Gray Lesene

    I have been divorced for almost 8yrs amd married for almost 14. My ex is leaving his job and pulling out his 401k. We never had papers drawn up about his retirement during the divorce. Am i entitled to any money fron his 401k even thou he is remarried.

    1. Look at your divorce agreement to see what you were awarded. If you got part of his retirement, file a QDRO right away to identify your part. If it wasn’t addressed in your divorce, talk to an attorney about opening up your case to divide the account.

  89. if a get a divorce and was not writing on the papers. and i live active and married for 19 years there is something I can do to claim some of his pension money

    1. It is hard to understand your current situation from your post. If you get a divorce, you should make provisions for what portion of the pension you are entitled to receive, and then do a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to receive your portion. If you got a divorce and didn’t make provisions to divide the pension, you should get a court order or written agreement regarding the pension now, and then do the QDRO. If you are still married, but living separately, then you should talk to an attorney about what support you are entitled to.

  90. Looks like I may be heading to a divorce and am trying to figure how to support myself. Been married almost 30 years. I haven’t work for 10 years. Husband is 66 and has retired but I’m only 56. He is able to draw from his IRA. We live in a community prop state, so I SHOULD get 1/2 of his IRA. If we do divorce, do I have to wait until I’m 59 1/2 to draw from the IRA. I would need the money as I don’t have any income.

  91. My sister had a stroke, she understands everything but is unable to speak and has right side paralysis. My sister also is being cared for by myself and parents. My sister is receiving child support arrear payments and her ex-husband who remarried and is now divorcing has informed us that he wants to give my sister a lump sum of money and have a contract notarized that he does not have to pay anything else. The money her ex-husband wants to negotiate a payment for comes from his soon to be ex-wife’ 401k. He says his money is being held and will lose out on it if my sister does not agree to what he wants to give her. My question is, Is this legal?

    1. Can someone please point me in the direction of assistance with this. Our Mother has Power of Attorney for my Sister.

  92. Sabrina c dietrich

    Was awarded half of my husband’s pension in divorce in 2011-2012, can I receive a lump sum payment now, I am 44 years old

  93. I am getting divorced. we both haven’t filed yet- my question is can I get my half before we get divorced? I plan on filing in a few weeks. Another thing, the majestrate (spelled wrong sorry) ordered me to pay xxx amount for child support which I do. we have four kids- 2 came to live with me cause of my soon to be exes mental state. one went back to her after 5 months so the majestrate ordered retro active from the date they arrived to me not the date one left- my ex knew it was a mistake and I questioned her and said I will be going to curt to fix this. she then said if you do i will take your 401k. so I sadly got afraid and didn’t do anything. How do I get that money back or can it be credited to my child support in case I lose my job and fall behind on the child support payments? Will she get in trouble for failure to report the wrong amount? What about the Majestrate? What can I do? and can she take my 401k or even a part of it if we aren’t divorced yet? I moved out and been living on my own for three years. I am actually writing this for my friend he just doesn’t know what to do. please help….. thank you

    1. Ask your attorney for advice regarding the apparent mix-up in dates for the children’s movements between households, to see if there’s anything that can be done. And find out from the attorney what portion of the 401(k) she might receive in divorce under the laws of your state.

  94. I was divorced in 1994 (23 yrs ago) and just now heard of QDRO. I’m now 73 and want to know if I can collect a portion of my ex husband’s pension. I’m not sure who to contact or file this form with since, as far as I know, he had several jobs.

    1. You will need to have a QDRO prepared and served on the administrator for any pension plan in which you were awarded an interest. If he became eligible for benefits under another pension plan in the years after your divorce, those plan benefits are his, unless your divorce agreement specified otherwise.

  95. Everything’s in place for me to get ex spouses retirement. He is getting his , but I still haven’t recieved anything. What do I need to do to get my money?

  96. Hi, all. As others have pointed out in this thread, my ex-husband and attorney have ignored the fact that the verbiage in the divorce settlement, stated that he had 60 days to transfer a specific amount of funds to an IRA rollover. I have provided all information needed for the transfer and it has now been 6 months. No one is responding to my questions, as to when this will be done, etc. In the meantime, I suspect the ex has used those very funds for his own purposes, such as buying a house, etc. and I feel a bit lost on why this is not receiving the attention it deserves. He clearly does not intend to pay. What are the options available to me on my own, to address this? I do not have a qdro and I am confused about its relevance to an IRA rollover account. I had wanted to have one done prior to the final PSA was signed but my attorney didn’t think it was necessary. And, how long does this go unfulfilled or remain outstanding, before it is considered ‘too late’ to resolve, according to an undisclosed time limit? The ex has already exceeded his time limit and is seemingly in contempt of court. I am in Virginia.

    1. A QDRO is not required to transfer funds from an IRA to a divorced spouse’s IRA — the divorce agreement gives the IRA custodian the marching orders he needs to make the transfer, though some require a form or letter to be signed by the IRA holder.
      Apparently your ex has not requested of the IRA custodian that the transfer be made, or else he hasn’t provided the custodian with the documentation needed to make the transfer.
      You can ask the court to order him to notify the IRA custodian, or perhaps you can contact the custodian to see what documentation they would require and provide that yourself. Or if they need someething signed by your ex, you can prepare that and as the court to appoint someone (called an “elisor”) to sign that on your husband’s behalf.

  97. Ginita,
    I was ordered to receive one lump some of $11,000.00 on a QDRO in the state of FL. The judge signed off on the orders & my ex has told his companies 401K provider that he’s in full compliance with the court order. What appears to have happened is that they took the $11,000.00 & opened a 401K plan up under my name with the company he uses. Is that even possible? I was planning on rolling the money over into a personal IRA because the company I currently have a 401K through isn’t that great. Does this mean I’m not going to get the money as ordered until he retires? I work 2 jobs & I’m a single mom that needs some relief to provide time, not money to our daughter. I’d like to be able to cut back on 1 of my jobs. Thank you for your response!

    1. Apparently the QDRO said that they should keep the funds in the plan for your benefit, and so they segregated them into an account for you. You can contact them to see when you can access them, and whether you can roll them into an IRA in your name. In general, you can access the funds without penalty at age 59-1/2 if they are in the IRA, and possibly sooner if they are with the company.

  98. I received a DRO paid a DRO lawyer to do it but he wanted my Divorce lawyer to sign it. I my Divorce Lawyer was no longer obligated to me and would not sign it. I paid this DRO Lawyer to do this and in his web site he says he would do everything but he did not it’s been 4 month’s Can i go back on that DRO Lawyer for lost money

  99. I was awarded child support n half of my ex husband military retirement my ex been paying child support since 2008 but 2013 judge awarded me child support n retirement my ex waive half if retirement for VA disability the rest was left was suppose to be for me but he still have court order at Dfas for child support so my award is being taking out for child support now my ex collects 3700 monthly plus GI bill plus his new job why do my child support have to be deducted out my awarded pay…why ex didn’t use VA to pay what courts awarded me I feel like I been railroaded thru my ex I need answers please he’s been testing retirement since last year n I have only got child support he owes me and I want what’s fair thru the courts

  100. My husband has been divorced for 2 years now. His ex wife has not taken out her portion of his retirement that she was awarded. We received a letter almost a year ago stating she wanted her portion, and haven’t heard back from her lawyer since. Is there a time limit by law in Ohio as to where she must transfer her portion out or she is no longer entitled to it?

  101. My ex passed away 3-23-13 at age 57. We were married on January 1977 for 22 years and we divorced January 1999. He had been with the company 18 years until his death. In our divorce decree, I asked for his pension thru his employer. After his passing, I has to get a QDRO thru the court, which I did since the Courts could not obtain the original documents of the divorce decree from their storage area . The plan is a defined benefit plan for the pension and I only receive 46.00 monthly and no one seems to want to answer how they came up with this ridiculous amount…Do I need to get a lawyer? Where is the other money going since I was his only wife…..
    Help or answers are greatly appreciated.

  102. have a question in 1997 i got divorce and the ex was suppose to give me half of her 401k when she got it!! but she never gave it to me. Now that i am retireing she things she still get half! can someone please tell me is it worth for me to get a lawyer and show her to stop stealing moey from ppl

  103. I divorced my husband in 1988, I was awarded 19% of his Retirement, I have a couple strokes, and really don’t know how to get it. He retired a month a go with I did not know, what do I need to do to get what is owed to me, I need to know the first step or a starting point.

  104. I was married 24 years been divorced 7 he remarried and moved out of state. He retired from a job of 21 years but works at another company now and draws retirement from the job he retired from. I never remarried can I draw off of his present retirement? I am 51 he is 56….

  105. Hi. TY for your advice. I’ve been split unofficially from husband for 2 years, we’ve worked out any loans, and property–except we owe on a house together still. He lives in Iowa in the house, I’m now living in California. I’ve told him he can just keep the house we were buying together. What I’m not sure about is how to handle retirement and 401ks. He mentioned splitting everything–I have more in mine, FYI. I was hoping to not have to get a lawyer to save money and do things online, but it’s all so complicated. Any advice for me?

  106. I was married for 4yrs & divorced my husband in 2007. During the marriage he named me as beneficiary over his retirement funds. After the divorce he never changed the beneficiary & he passed 2yrs ago. Currently I’m still the primary beneficiary but am I entitled to the benefits under South Carolina law? Searching for advice before pursuing the issue. Thanks!

  107. I have court ordered 50% of his pension. I just got my qadro back signed from judge. I just called union to find out who I needed to send it to so that I could receive my half. She said I had to wait until he was at retirement age to get my half. Thats not what I was told. What do you thank?

      1. Barbara Palacios

        Hi and thank you. I’m intitled to 50% of my exhusbands retirement it was never settled in the divorce its been 9 years later, I can’t afford to hire an attorney to file the Quadro what are my options and how hard is it to do myself? If doing it myself how do I get started? Thank you for your service and advice…… Barb

        1. If your divorce agreement says that you are entitled to half of his retirement, then a QDRO can be prepared that reflects that. If it was not settled in the divorce, then you may need to open up the divorce again to get that in writing.

  108. I was awarded half of my husband’s retirement in the divorce agreement. He worked for a company that he was vested in after 5 years and then struck out on his own. I recently found out through a 3rd party that he would be receiving about 4k/ month from his retirement starting in the next month or so, but have no idea where it could be coming from. He is 59 years old sold I don’t think the funds would be coming from social security and if they were would I be entitled to half of his SS? How do I go about finding out where he would be drawing his retirement from and will I need a QDRO to get my portion?

    1. If you didn’t file a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to preserve your right to our share of his retirement account, do that right away. Otherwise you are running the risk of him collecting the benefits that are supposed to go to you, or dying and leaving the benefit that is yours to his own beneficiary.

  109. My wife and I both worked outside the home. We both have pensions. I have worked for the entire time of our marriage (30 years) but my wife did not start her career until about 13 years ago. While I make more money, she gets (as a State employee) a much higher percentage of her salary as retirement…so basically our retirement payouts are about the same. We had tentatively agreed that she would keep her retirement and I would keep mine. We are close to coming to an agreement. :Last week she announced that even though she didn’t want to draw on my retirement, she did want to remain the beneficiary of my retirement benefits should I die. So I asked her, does that mean I should ask to be her retirement beneficiary? She informed me that she was told by her lawyer, since she has been paying into her retirement account for less than 14 year of our marriage, I would not be entitled to her retirement benefits. Sounds bogus to me. Is there some minimal limit of years that is required before retirement becomes communal property? (I live in Missouri, if that matters) I know for social security you have to be married for 10 years for your spouse to be able to draw against it. I’m not talking about Social Security, or my (our) 401K (I am already transferring her a portion of that, as well as the house free and clear).

  110. It depends on how much of his pension he was awarded. If 50%, then putting away his half in a separate account should cover it.

  111. I was married for 21 years and earned the bulk of our income. My ex-husband was awarded 50% of my 401k’s and pensions at our divorce 7 years ago. However, he never filed a QDRO. Now, I am nearing retirement and want to draw on my pensions. Can I just go ahead and draw on my pensions now? (Divorce was very contentious due to his past abuse.)

      1. Ok. If I collect my pensions now and put 1/2 aside in a separate account, then would that cover his portion if and when he decides to cooperate and file the QDRO? (Thanks for your help, by the way. I appreciate it.)

  112. How can I still receive my ex-husband’s pension if we have been married for over 24 years, and divorced for 4, and I don’t think we did a QDRO. I walked away with nothing. He is early retired IMB on benefits.

    1. Look at your divorce agreement and see whether you were awarded any portion of the pension. If you were, have a QDRO prepared right away. If the pension isn’t addressed in the document, talk to an attorney right away about opening up your divorce case for the purpose of dividing the pension.

  113. I was married for 20 years, I was a stay at home wife and mom at his request. Divorced 5yrs ago, four years ago I received half of my ex husband’s 401k. which paid for my return back to school. I have since found out that he also has a separate retirement account. His attorney wasn’t even aware of this separate retirement therefor there is no mention of it in our divorce agreement at all. . Can I still get half of that unmentioned, hidden retirement account and can I get it early so I can pay all of this debt off? I am 55 right now and my home is about to be foreclosed on. I am in desperate need of financial help. His daughter and I are still living in the home.

      1. In my case, state of Florida 2001, we had a Simplified Dissolution of Marriage. No assets were listed, simply states what is in each persons name will remain and each is responsible for their own debt. My husband kept his pension. At this time can I file an amendment to the divorce decree?

  114. Hello. I’ve been reading thru several of these q and a’s. My question has probably already been answered but there is A LOT of stuff to read thru. My divorce was final on June 30th. We had a peaceful divorce. We agreed to everything and HE told me I was entitled to half his 401k. We did NOT have lawyers. The judge awarded us everything as we had agreed, including half his 401k. Now, knowing this… Do I still need to get a lawyer to get my half of the retirement?! Can he get a hold of his 401k people to get it taken care of?

    1. You will need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed with the plan administrator for the purpose of dividing the plan. The plan administrator must have that document to transfer your share of the plan to an IRA in your name.

  115. I know it’s a long one, but appreciate any comments. Thanks in advance!

    Divorce was finalized in state of CT in June 2012 with a provision to equally divide my $24,000 retirement savings (the agreement wording says $24,000 IRA, but I have a 401K – are they regarded as one and the same by the Court? – or do you think this was a mistake?) by QDRO and the filing fee to be equally shared as well.

    1. The QDRO was never filed as the ex wanted me to pay the entire fee and I refused.
    2. I have since moved from CT to FL – does this have any bearing on the QDRO if filed now?
    3. He has since remarried – does that make any difference in the settlement or QDRO filing?
    4. Got a call from him yesterday that he is in dire straits and needs the money. I have no problem giving him what he’s entitled to by the divorce agreement. However, he says he calculated and $17,000
    would help him get out of the rut he’s in (some business issues etc). I told him the divorce agreement provided for equally dividing $24,000 which is $12k. He mentioned that his portion must have accrued interest. But the divorce settlement made no mention of interest or extra provision, just cut and dry equally splitting $24,000 – which at the time was the value of the account. So I told him he is only entitled to $12,000 per the divorce agreement.
    5. I am more than happy to file the QDRO so he can have what he’s entitled but no more and again looks like he wants me to absorb the entire filing fee. At this point I just need to have this all done and not drag on any more, so I will bite the bullet and pay the entire fee. Would I be violating the court order on this part since it stated we were to equally cover the filing fee?
    6. He wants cash and will not be rolling to an IRA, will he and I both be taxed/penalized since I’m under 59 1/2?
    7. Lastly my company was just acquired and is finalizing the deal to move the 401k plan to another investment company. Everything will be wrapped up in September 2017 and was told I (all employees) won’t have visibility/access to their 401K until then. Would the QDRO now be served to the new plan and do I need to wait till September to file it and have it submitted to the plan administrator.

    Thanks in advance for your advise/suggestions.

    1. He is entitled to what was awarded in the divorce agreement, no matter where you live and no matter what his marital status. If the divorce agreement says you will split the cost you should pay your half. If he wants to direct in the QDRO that he will get the funds himself instead of rolling them into an IRA in his name, then he will have to pay the tax on the funds he receives. There is no penalty since he will be getting the payments pursuant to a QDRO. The QDRO will be served on the administrator of the plan at the time it is served. If you want to give him a different amount than is specified in the divorce agreement, you will have to do a modification to the agreement. If you don’t then leave it the way it is — sounds like it is very clear about what he gets. If you want to pay the entire fee to get it done, that probably doesn’t have to be changed in the divorce agreement.

  116. I receive 8% of my spouse’s pension each month is this taxable income for me an a tax deduction for my spouse. The divorce decree does not grant me alimony. We live in FL

    1. It sounds as though you were awarded a portion of his pension as property settlement that was reflected in your divorce agreement. If the pension plan is sending you the check directly, then they will issue you a 1099R at the end of the year showing your income from the pension. If your spouse was ordered to pay this to you, then he likely will “nominate” the income to you by subtracting it on line 21 of his tax return, showing that he received it on your behalf and giving your name and social security number, and you will report it as income on line 21 of your tax return, showing that he nominated the income to you.

  117. Hilda G Alzatti

    I have been divorced for over 17yrs but I was married for 19yrs,. I started out with a lawyer during my divorce but couldn’t afford it but I was award half of my husband penions and was never told that I had to file a QDRO. I just found out but I have my divorce paper stating that I was granted have his pension is it to later for me to file.

    1. File a QDRO as soon as possible. Hopefully it isn’t too late, and your husband has not removed the funds. But if you find out that is the case (after you file the QDRO) you will need to start legal action to recover from him what you were awarded in your divorce.

  118. Hello Ginita,
    Thank you so much for helping many people in these kind of situations. I’ve being divorced since 2013 after 30 years of marriage and I have the approval for collecting my portion from his retirement and he will also allowed to do from mine; stated in the court settlement but I had no clue about the QDRO and I did asked many people what was next and they all said wait until you retire and the government will be in charge but now He is just about to retire and I still have 5 more years before i do so, I’m so afraid that He might have taken most of the money out of his plan and I will not get much because sadly He will do it if He had a chance, and violate any law. I don’t have contact with him and I know a littlle from my daughters. I’m struggling financially and is it to late for a QDRO and who sure I go to? Please guide me! from CA

    1. And that is why you should get a QDRO in place as soon as possible, so the plan administrator knows that you are entitled to a portion of the plan and doesn’t pay it to him. It is not too late, so ask your attorney to give you the name of someone who can prepare a QDRO. Or you can call a family law attorney office and ask who in your area prepares QDRO. Or contact a QDRO preparation service such as QDROPros.com and see if they can do it, and if not, who they recommend.

  119. I was married for 18 years and my ex-spouse died a few months after the divorce. There is a QDRO of which I have rolling into my own IRA.
    Question is , I have been asked to sign off as the beneficiary of the 401k by his guardian now and I want to know if I am entitled to receive the rest of the money in the 401k since I am still listed as beneficiary.

    1. That’s a question to ask an attorney familiar with the laws of your state. In some states, a divorce breaks the beneficiary designation of an ex-spouse, so if yours is one of those states, you would get only what you were awarded in the divorce.

  120. My ex was ordered to do the quadro on 8/8/2016. He has yet to do it. I have spent over $125000.00 trying to get divorced and can no longer afford a lawyer. Would I need to file a motion of contempt, and would it be reasonable for me to ask that a third party do the quadro at my ex’s expense?

    1. I do not know what a motion of contempt involves or what it gains you. As far as I know, you can engage someone to prepare the QDRO, and the QDRO would have to be approved by both of you. The person you engage to prepare it will be looking to you for payment, no doubt. Whether you can recover that cost or some part of it from your ex, I don’t know, that’s a legal issue.

  121. i will receive a deferred compensation pension of about $35,000 from my ex during divorce settlement will this affect my social security disability benefit payments that i am already receiving?i am not getting any other but SSD, if someone knows please give some info, thank you

    1. the i will receive a deferered compensation pension from my ex during divorce settlement will this affect my social sscurity disability benefit? compensation benefit i will receive comes from my ex City government job

  122. My divorce decree is going to state that I am entitled to all of my x husbands IRA’s. After a QDRO is signed, sealed and delivered to the plan administrator. What does my x have to do legally to have these transferred solely to my name, to do with as I please. Does he have to sign something? My x is a narcissist, so if he can get away with something underhanded he will try. I want to have all my i’s dotted and t’s crossed. What besides the QDRO do I need outlined to protect myself

  123. I filed a QDRO and it was accepted. 8 months later still have not received anything. I received voice mails, texts stating it would be on this day then that day and nothing! I guess there isn’t anything I can do. I guess I will never receive my portion that was signed off on by a judge and filed by an attorney. He got everything and I got 1/2 of the annuity, which apparently I will never receive!

      1. I contact them once a week as a follow up. I have my own Annuity set up and ready to receive the monies so I have to keep giving updates on what is going on. Ex husbands fund office just keeps giving me dates such as the Funds were to be available for transfer May 10, 2017 , last text I received. Yet May 10th has came and went and still nothing. They just keep saying that over an over. How long can they legally hold the monies?

  124. Patricia Dougherty

    Hello my ex.husband got two pension and his lawyer told me that and he responded he told him to be fair .. but not that fair” so any who…we was not legally separated when he started the second pension” is it true i can still get it since we were not legally separated and still was seeing each other??he is now re-married. but states i should not go after the last pension” thanks for your time.

  125. What happens when the employee dies before retiring, leaving 2 ex- wives, neither filed qdros, and there is a listed beneficiary?

    1. IIf the former wives were awarded a portion of the retirement plan, they need to assert their rights. Otherwise, the funds will go to the beneficiary, and the former wives will have to go after that person for their funds.

  126. I have been recieving half of my ex retirement since 2014. I just got remarried and he thinks he doesnt have to pay this any longer. On my divorce decree its under maintence which it isnt and it also says ..per 2.12 of Finding of Fact… what does that mean? Im not sure where to go from here.

  127. My husband completed his retirement papers and sent his divorce decree/psa to the plan administrator of his pension. His ex-wife is to receive a portion of it. The plan administrator contacted him regarding the QDRO and we don’t believe the ex ever did one. Can he request his portion be sent to him and leave her portion in the plan until she files a QDRO? Also, if she never files one what would happen to the money, would it revert to him upon her death?

    1. Ask the plan administrator what can be done. Even if she doesn’t file the QDRO, she still has a right to the funds according to your divorce agreement, so if those funds are paid to you she likely has a right to collect the funds from you. So getting her to file the QDRO is likely to be the best thing to do.

  128. Betsy H Musson

    Hello,

    I have a question regarding taxation on early withdrawal on my ex-husband’s pension. I was in the process of working with a QDRO attorney with whom my ex-husband was going to jointly participate. He stalled the process, and unknowingly to me cashed in his pension early. He incurred penalties on the early withdrawal. I was not consulted, nor was I given an opportunity to have my share automaticallty rolled over into a IRA to avoid taxation. We had a divorce decree in place that specified how much of his pension I was to receive. He eventually paid me the funds minus penalties after a lapse of time. My question is this…who is responsible for paying taxes on the money since it was his sole decision and paid directly to him? We live in Arizona in case this matters. Thank you!

    1. It’s too bad that the pension plan administrator had not been given notice that the plan was subject to a divorce agreement, so that they could have waited until you got your QDRO in place. Consult with your attorney to see what you can do now.

  129. This is the WORST advise to give.

    A) You will have to invest the money you receive as a retail investor and make prudent calculations.

    B) Opening an IRA makes sense when you have maxed out your 401k.

    C) When you wothdraw the amount you willbe TAXED. It is called tax deferred for a reason.

    D) Please do not make the mistake of taking retirement without thinking through.In fact get someone who knows about investments like a portfolio manager, equity or fixed analyst to provide you with advise. Your run if the mill financial advisor knows jsck shit.

  130. Laura A Ellenberger

    Is there a time limit as to when you can collect half of a 401k as ordered in a divorce settlement through a QDRO? Our divorce was final a good number of years ago, and somehow, the 401K split was never initiated or followed through. And the company now in charge of said 401k monies won’t deal with me, because I wasn’t the plan participant. My Ex (and his wife) refuse to help in this process.
    Can you offer some advice as to what my options are? If I can get a signed copy of the order from the Circuit Court, will that be helpful too?
    Please help, this has been ongoing for years, and I am at a loss as to what to do.

    1. You should contact someone to draw up the QDRO and get it approved and files ASAP. If you don’t know who does QDROs in your area, ask your attorney for a recommendation. They definitely will need a copy of the order.

      1. Laura A Ellenberger

        The QDRO was approved for the Pensions split and the 401k all at once, at the time of the divorce. I am already getting monthly payments from the pensions. That’s why I was asking if there is a time limit to those things. The company that is in charge of the 401k has told me, I’m not able to do anything because I was not a plan participant. And that the ex needs to send in the info to initiate it. And my lawyer was expensive back then and I can’t really afford to have her look into it. I was able to ask her about it previously and all she said was that she would charge me the old rate. I’m just not able to pay that kind of money at this time. I guess what I really need to know is, do the orders expire? Do I have to go through the whole process over and pay someone to get this thing started again? Sorry if there was any confusion, I’m at a loss as to what to do since I have no one to help me for my side of it. I think I can get a copy of the order from the courthouse, so I will look into that then.
        Thanks, I appreciate any help you can give me.
        Laura Ellenberger

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          It sounds as though you are already getting monthly payments, so I don’t know what it is that you want to do.If it is a different plan, for example, you filed the QDRO for the pension but not for the 401(k), then you’ll need to file one for the 401(k).

          1. Laura Ellenberger

            The QDRO was filed for all three. (2 Pension plans and a 401k ) all at the same time. I am getting monies from the pensions, not the 401k. That somehow got lost in the whole process and never initiated. They were all in the divorce agreement and in the court order for the divorce, signed by the judge. Sorry for the confusion. I am looking to find out what I may need to do and if, since it’s been a number of years since my divorce, if a court order for it can expire. I’m just trying to figure out my next step.
            Thank You for your time and patience.
            Laura Ellenberger

          2. If the QDRO was filed and accepted by the plan administrator, contact the plan administrator to see how you access your funds. If the QDRO was never filed and/or accepted, then do whatever is needed to have that happen.

  131. I have been divorced since 2004; I was awarded 30% of spouses military retirement (married 15 years), if I decided to remarry at a later date; does this stop my payments? Can the spouse file to have the payments stopped?
    Thank you.

    1. If you received a share of the military retirement as a division of assets earned during the marriage, your remarriage shouldn’t affect your interest in the plan. You can ask your attorney to be sure, since he/she knows the laws of your state.

  132. I’m considering divorcing my husband on grounds of adultery. I want to make sure I get everything I’m entitled to after 30 years! He retired and gets retirement benefits each month, cashed in his 401K and as an incentive to retire was given a lump sum of over 155K which he says I’m entitled to none and he’s only obligated to pay me alimony for a short amount of time! He bought a new car paid cash while I drive a car that is 15 yrs old and falling apart? What am I entitled to I do work full time but is income was almost triple mine. Thanks for any feedback.

  133. Jeannette M Ennis

    My Divorce Decree States that I receive 50% of his retirement/pension. He will now be ready to retire but he has asked me to take a one time lump sum equal to the amount I would have received over years of collecting. Can he do this? If he gives me the funds wouldn’t I be taxed on it? Or will a QDRO of some sort take care of it?

    1. Oh my, if you were awarded half of his pension, then you should have put a QDRO into place so that you can get those payments, so do that now. The plan administrator may give you a choice of whether to take a lump sum (you’ll probably roll it into an IRA in your name, if you do, to avoid paying lots of taxes now) or you can take monthly payments for life.

      If he now wants to renegotiate the settlement and pay you from some other funds, he can ask for that — it is up to you whether you say yes. If he’s going to pay you cash, that generally isn’t taxable. But you didn’t say what funds he wants to give you.

  134. MY DIVORCE WAS FINALIZED ON YEAR 1998
    THE COURT AWARDED PORTION OF MY EX’S RETIREMENT PENSION.
    I FILED QUADRO ( Qualified Domestic Relations Order) AND I’VE BEEN RECEIVING MONTHLY PAYMENT DIRECT DEPOSIT FROM US TREASURY TO MY BANK ACCOUNT EACH MONTH. RECENTLY, I AM HAVING FINANCIAL HARDSHIP AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW INSTEAD OF MONTHLY PAYMENT FROM RETIREMENT PLAN / ANNUITY, IS POSSIBLE TO LUMP SUM CASH?
    EX WAS WORKED FOR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SECRET SERVICE BUT HE GOT MEDICAL DISCHARGED YEARS AGO. I’M NOT SURE MEDICAL DISCHARGED FORCE HIM TO RETIRED EARLY OR NOT BUT, IF HE DID, CAN I GET ( Qualified Domestic Relations Order) RETIREMENT FUND EARLY TOO? HE WILL BE 60, MAY, 2017 AND I JUST TURNED 58, JANUARY, 2017. I MADE FEW PHONE CALLS TO OPM (Office of Personnel Management) FOR THAT ANSWER BUT UNSUCCESSFULLY TO REACH THEM. PLEASE! ADVISE ME WHAT TO DO. THANK YOU.

  135. Can I use you as my divorce atterney? I don’t know dittly squatt about this. How do I get intouch with the plan administrater? And how do I know if I will recieve 1/2 of his retirement and how do I know if he has a pention and if so will I get some of it? Do lawyers take payments, because I can’t afford one unless I do a payment plan. Help please, I need someone like you….please help me I’m alone on this.

    1. Hoo boy, you’d be in world of hurt if you hired someone like me to be your divorce attorney who isn’t even an attorney and doesn’t know anything about the laws of your state. Find someone who does to give you advice about how things work in your state.

  136. My mom & dad divorced several years ago. And in the divorce he was granted 1/2 of what she had in there at the time which was about 8000.00. He’s passed away since then and my mom told me I would be the one to receive it since I was next to kin. My mom recently took an early retirement can I get that money that was granted to him in the divorce. We tired getting the money out when he passed so I could pay for funeral expenses but her work told her she had to retire first before I could get it. So what do I need to do to get my money.

    1. You say that he got 1/2 of “what she had in there”, but I’m not sure what that means, exactly. If he never transferred those funds to an account in his name, and if he never did a QDRO if they are in a 401(k)-like account, then they are still in your mom’s name. If that’s the case, she can talk to her plan administrator about how to get funds out.

  137. I was awarded half of my ex husbands 401k, this was the only thing I received in the divorce. (Besides child support). He kept the house, I asked for nothing. It has been a year since I filed the QDRO. The lawyer initially sent it to the wrong company. The correct company accepted the paperwork in October. they are stating to have to wait for dates for the exact dollar amount due to the company changing hands three times since the award date. My ex husband now states he is going to sue me after I receive the money, because he never agreed to this. He states it was not in the initial agreement, and he never signed off on it that I just randomly asked for it in court and was awarded it. Can he really sue me after I receive this money? He kept everything from our marriage.

    1. Oh dear, the worst person to take legal advice from is your ex. Your ex says that the court awarded you the funds and he didn’t like that. Too bad — since there’s a court order, he won’t have legal standing to sue you (or the judge, for that matter).

  138. My ex-husband is a police officer, and was married to him for 22 years. I received half his pension in my name–all papers were filed by my attorney. I’m 53 years old, and he is 51. I understand he plans to retire in 2 years (after 25 years of service). When do I start collecting the funds? Does it come in monthly payments? I’m confused how this works.

  139. SARITA GONZALEZ

    How do I get my portion, 34% of my ex husband’s retirement benefits? He retired last year, May 27, 2016 at age 51 from a gov job as an ICE agent. I verified that Office of Personal has received and approved my application for a portion of my former spouse federal retirement benefits. But as of today I have not heard anything from them. I was told that I had to wait until he retired. Well he has retired. Now do I have to wait till he turns 65? Do I have to contact them in writing? I have emailed the paralegal specialist that wrote back to me many times by email and she has not responded once. What do I need to do to get my benefits? Please help me!!!

  140. My ex husband retired last year and we had a QDRO complete before the divorce was final. I’m not sure if he is drawing his retirement benefits but if he is and I’m supposed to get half of it, what do I need to do to have that happen?

  141. Priscilla A. Tavera

    Question on behalf of my mother who is 76 years old. My father worked civil service (Lackland AFB) and has recently passed away. My mother mentioned that according to her divorce decree 40+ years ago; she was awarded a portion of his retirement but never new when he retired or ever inquired about it. Who would she have to contact in order to get that process going? Or is it too late for her to claim her portion? She never looked into while he was living because the marriage was one of domestic violence and she just didn’t want to stir the pot and keep the peace. Plus they didn’t keep in contact so she didn’t know when he retired, etc. Any advice would be appreciated.

    1. Priscilla A. Tavera

      I picked a copy of her divorce decree from court house and it does not mention retirement. Is she eligible or did it need to be noted on her decree?

    2. If she was awarded a portion of his retirement and didn’t receive it, she should talk to an attorney to see if she has a claim against his estate. This is why it is crucial to prepare and file a QDRO that pins down your portion of someone else’s retirement.

  142. I just recently was divorced. Our divorce settlement says i am to pay spouse an exact dollar amount out of my 401-K. It has been a few months and my ex-spouse is not pushing or even worried about when the transfer takes place. I think my ex-spouse actually believes the money is probably safer where it sits than if it is transferred to them. My question is, if i just do nothing until say we are both to retirement age would i owe them only the exact dollar amount that the divorce settlement calls for? OR, can i be financially punished by the courts /forced to give more money to ex-spouse for not doing the transfer within the sixty or ninety days of the divorce. And does the legal system actively do follow ups on divorce finals to make sure all proper steps were taken and in a timely fashion. I have been reading some comments on here that people have waited years and years to do the QDRO! Is it okay especially if ex has no issue with it? I just don’t want to get into any hot water on this or owe more than settlement calls for. Thank you very much

    1. So if I’m understanding you correctly, your question is whether it’s OK to take advantage of the ignorance of your spouse? That is between you and your conscience, I guess. As to the legality of it, you’ll need to talk to an attorney to find out.

      1. No, my question to you was do the courts check up on divorce settlements to see if certain things have been handled or not! Plain and simple question. My ex- spouse is the one who ask’d me to get the answer to this specific question. You see, we ARE divorced because of their financial irresponsibility for many years of stealing money from the mouths of my family to feed a severe drug habit! The Ex- cannot be trusted with any sort of money! The ex does not trust self with any money, but wants to have some as an older person someday. Ex knows if i transfer money to where it is accessible to them, then it will be used up quickly for all the wrong reasons. I take offense to your bashing of me!!!! Walk a mile in one’s shoes before jumping the gun!!!!!

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          Now I understand your question better. Your former spouse may pursue the issue down the line, but the courts generally do not follow up.

  143. Bonnie Billington

    I was divorced in September 2015. At the time I missed seeing a survivor annuity clause in the divorce decree but I know my ex did not miss it! I am divorced 18 months in March and wonder if I can or still have time to have this divorce decree amended to include Survivor benefits. OPM supervisors say no but I need another opinion! That box was elected YES at my ex-husbands retirement but he changed it to NO only \4 months before our divorce without my knowledge. I believe he might have forged my name on the retiremnt documents. Rules I read say I MUST consent to this..I did NOT! Can you help me here. EIther to help reinstate the spousal annuity or catch him on a fraud charge?

    1. If he retired during your marriage, the plan is required to pay survivor benefits to his spouse, unless she elects otherwise. If you did not make that election, then that’s what they should have done. Once benefits begin, it is my understanding that the survivor benefit cannot be undone. If your husband began collecting benefits during the marriage electing to have the benefits paid for his lifetime alone, and you did not sign off on that, that is probably not legal under ERISA regulations, and you should take legal action against him and the plan administrator to assert your rights. If he began taking benefits after the divorce was final, he was unmarried and he could forego survivor benefits because he does not have a spouse at that time.

  144. Hi, I have a couple questions. First I am still married, been married since 1989 but I moved out of the house and told him I wanted a divorce about 3 years ago. We still put our checks and paid bills, grocery shopped and everything out of the same account until I had to move and after 3 months of 2.5-3.5 hour commute each way I had to quit my job since my boss couldn’t work with me on my hours. At that point he closed the account and we are now responsible for our own bills. I have had no luck finding a job in the little town I live in or close surrounding towns. I have for the first time in my life had to go apply for food n health insurance at the county. He pays my house payment and the house payment of the house he lives in because they are both still in our names. We are getting a divorce but haven’t started the paperwork. We are trying to do this ourselves. He is trying to buy me out of pension n 401k by giving me vehicles we own. But at what point is the amount of the 401k used? At the time I left or at the time divorce is final?

  145. I have a issue with a 401k myself. I have been divorced awhile. My issue is. I cant afford the laywer to draw up the paperwork required to get my half of my ex husbands 401. So how do i go about getting it?

    1. I also have no 401k of my own and will need this money to help mt live when i retire.i work fulltime. With only social security to fall back on when i retire.

    2. You’ll need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to be filed with the plan administrator to get your share. If you can’t afford an attorney, you’ll need to figure out how to draw one up yourself. If you want my advice, you can’t afford not to hire someone to draw it up properly, rather than risk never getting the funds because you “couldn’t afford it.”

  146. Thank you so much for answering my question, and for doing it so promptly. I cannot tell you how much peace of mind I now have knowing this. And thank you for doing what you do to help women.

  147. My husband is 64 and retired from the United States Postal Service with a pension. He began drawing his retirement pension last year. Since retirement he is working part time jobs. I am 62, and working full time. I have no pension, just social security. I had planned on retiring at 66. If I were to divorce now before I retire, will I get half his pension now, or do I have to wait until I retire?
    If we divorce, I will begin drawing social security at 66, but I will continue to work as I will need the money.

  148. I have been divorced for about 17 years. On his pension plan it shows that I will not receive anything. At the time he had a lawyer and I did not and I signed the papers now I regret it. Is there anything I can do to change that?

    1. I was married for 19 years and I meant to say that on the court papers on the pension part says that I will not be entitled to anything.

  149. My mother divorced my Father and it was finalized in October. In the decree, it stated she would get the IRA. That is her funds, instead of making him sell the house/getting a mortgage on the house that was owned outright. Anyway, she signed the QRDO back in Nov, and the lawyer told her ‘a month at most’ to get the money. She STILL doesn’t have the money. The lawyer refuses to talk to her or return calls. The last she heard was in Dec when the lawyer said it ‘could take awhile’. How long should this really take? She was a SAHM, and has no other money minus a piddly amt of alimony at 325/month.

  150. Does the spouse have to wait for her ex to retire before she can actually start receiving his retirement. And what if he remarries before the actual QDRO is submitted to the plan administrator?

    1. You do not have to wait for him to retire, if the QDRO is drawn up properly so that you don’t waive your right to begin getting payments when he reaches the earliest age at which he can retire. However, you might get more if you wait. His marital status should not affect your interest in the plan, which is set for in your divorce agreement.

  151. My ex-husband’s lawyer is in the process of drawing up a Quadro for me. I need the cash now to catch up on bills that I couldn’t pay when I wasn’t receiving child support. Who should I have review the quadro for me?

  152. My aunt is beneficary on her ex husband ‘s 401 k and life insurance policy at his job of 38 years. They were married for 30 years . He just remarried 2 years ago and never removed her as beneficary. They have 2 grown daughters and he didn’t have a will. He just recently died of cancer. Does his new wife have rights to the 401 k and life insurance policy? I believe his wishes were to provide for his girls and grandkids. She will definatly make sure that get the money.

    1. She should talk to an attorney to see if the beneficiary designation was effective after the divorce. In some states, it has to be renewed after divorce to be effective. As to what rights the new wife has, that will also be determined under the laws of the state.

  153. Was married 34 yrs .He was in navy 20. Of t 20 I was married 13 yrs. Can I get some of his retirement pay. dye ordered 700. a month. What is address to the Navy payment center.

    1. Yes, I believe that you are entitled to a portion of his retirement play. You can use a search engine such as Google to find the address of the Navy payment center, though they probably won’t be able to talk to you until you have a court order and then file the appropriate paperwork to notify the military of your interest in the retirement pay.

  154. Married 25 yrs. Didn’t take any of his 401K nor two other small pensions he had. But I did take 1/2 of a pension that started when he turned 55. The Qrdo is in place with the Pension Board. However a month ago he turned 55 and will not turn his paperwork in to start receiving the benefits. With him not turning in his application it stops me from receiving my 1/2. This is not a large amount of money but it was agreed upon at the time. How do you handle this?

  155. Question me and my husband have been married five years he wants a divorce now he started a retirement at the time that we first got married I know I get half of that but we have found out in the last two years that I prior company that he worked for set aside money for a retirement plan for him for the time served for the company he knew nothing about this until after we get Am I entitled to any of that money due to the fact that he did not get it until after we got married and that he knew nothing about it and he never put into it

  156. My ex husband retired in 2015, his retirement commenced in June 2016. My QDRO had been completed in Dec. 2016 and submitted to OPM. Over several months I called them to confirm that they had all of the necessary paperwork to process my retirement. After several calls and hours on hold I finally was told that they did not have my voided check that my lawyer had submitted to them, I faxed them an additional voided check, I called to confirm, again hours on hold and no real answers. I was told your money will come in a couple of months, again and again, month after, month. I was told that they had received everything needed to commence in July 2016. I have left several messages to the third party entity which processes the paperwork then returns it to OPM, No one answers this line, I have sent several emails and faxes requesting an update to no avail. I just got off the phone today again, I was told that the third party company had filed my paperwork in some form of hold pattern, I talked to someone in the Death benefit dept , she looked it up and told me about my paperwork is sitting in a dead zone, she claimed she sent a email to them on my behalf, and that there is no reason it has not been sent back to them for processing. I asked how long, she stated March, she stated that I will receive a call in 10 days, I asked what do I do to if no call is made to me. She said ring back. What more can I do? Who is getting all of the interest on my money they are storing up? I was told I have a frozen acct. with my money piling up. Who oversees the OPM and their processes? Are their advocates that can help me? Please help me…….

    1. I’m so sorry that this is happening. Call her or someone else at the OPM and see if they have an advocate service. And consider complaining to your congresspeople, your television station, etc. That often gets things moving.

  157. freedomapache1972@gmail.com

    I was granted 30% of my husbands retirement; however, he was terminated before he was eligible to retire. Now what?

  158. Can I ask for two seperate checks when rolling over the money from my ex husbands retirement account? One made out to me and one to my company that handles my 401K?

    1. In your Qualified Domestic Relations Order, you can request that a portion of the funds be distributed directly to you and the rest rolled into an IRA in your name. They will withhold federal (and state if applicable) taxes from the portion to go to you, and you’ll need to report the distribution and withheld taxes on your income tax return for that year. You cannot roll the funds into your 401(k), since they were from your spouse’s earnings, not yours.

  159. Hello,
    I was awarded half of my ex husbands 401K in the divorce, my ex remarried right away, my question is am I still entitled to the 401K or his new spouse?

    1. You are entitled to whatever your divorce agreement says that you are to receive. If you have not yet had the Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and served on the plan administrator to identify your share in the plan, you should do so right away.

  160. I filed for divorce and I have no access to our financial information.We’ve been married 20 years. He was active duty military and is now national guard. He also has a federal job that is going to give him a retirement when he turns 60. What do I file to request half of his eventual retirements?

    1. In many states, he is required to make specific financial disclosures. Your divorce agreement will reflect what portion of the retirement plans are being awarded to you, and you will then have orders prepared to serve on the employers to notify them of your share of the plans.

  161. If divorce is final in state of Texas and ex did not sign the QDRO and 6 to 10 months have gone by can this be changed is the paying ex spouse, the one who made the money who becomes unemployed, or sick stop this. Again, the ex who is due to receive the money has not signed or filed. The attorney for the party who 401K is owned has reached to opposing counsel and nothing. Since the circumstances have changed in the spouse life and they now need the money to live, what to do in the state of Texas?? By the way, reading through all of this – you all are awesome for helping some many people~ Thank you!!

    1. Generally the QDRO is used to divide property according to agreement or state law regarding how property is divided between spouses, and the subsequent support issues that you bring up are another issue to be dealt with separately. We are not attorneys and are not familiar with the laws of your state, and so cannot give you legal advice as to what the laws provide in Texas.

  162. I am in the middle of a divorce and I am entitled to 50% of his 401k. I would like to take some of it out early to pay on one of the vehicles I am getting out of the divorce bc I don’t have much credit and I can’t put the vehicle in my name yet and when I build some credit and am able to I know my payments will be higher than what they are now and I won’t be able to afford it without putting a lump sum down before transferring into my name and to put some into a CD to keep earning money and $2k for rent. I should get around $12k which isn’t much. I want to take about $4k to pay on the vehicle and $2k into a CD. Is this possible? How do I find out what the penalty is?

    1. Once you have the divorce agreement finalized that says that you are to get 50% of his 401(k), you can have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and served on the 401(k) plan administrator. You can have the funds transferred to an IRA in your name, or you can have some or all of the funds transferred to you directly. If funds come to you directly there will be withholding for federal and state income taxes on whatever you receive, plus you may owe additional federal and state income taxes when you file your income tax returns for the year, based on your tax rate for the year of distribution. You will not owe a penalty for early withdrawal since you made the withdrawal using a QDRO.

  163. If the divorce decree states what is to be given and my ex husband take the money out can he be in trouble for doing so? and if so what could I do about it

  164. I have a strange situation and need advice. My current attorney for this now happening divorce is not aggressive as I first thought her was. My situation: I married my husband in April, 1974, I filed a divorce with a local attorney in 1995 which my husband would not sign and would not leave the house. I then took my children ages 12 and 13 at the time and moved to another county for 6 months. While in St. Johns county I filed another divorce with Family Service’s which again, he did not sign. Now July, 2016 filed again, now children are grown. We are still legally married but have lived separately since 1995, my husband is now retiring from the DCSB with the DROP. Since we were married for 21 years and I had to leave with kids to get away from emotional and sometimes physical abuse, shouldn’t I still receive 50% of his retirement funds??? Mediation is set up and I was told by a mutual friend that I wasn’t getting anywhere near what I thought I would get. Could you please advise me as I am now 63 years old and survived 4 cancers in the last 9 years and living on disability and minor social security with food stamps. Please advise me, I fear I chose the wrong attorney now. What to do???

  165. I have yet to receive my ex husband retirement. J was awarded half and it has been since 2002 of the divorce. How do I go about this. I have not been remarried either. Please tell me the steps to take

    1. If you had a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed on the plan administrator, then contact the plan administrator to see when you can begin receiving payments. If you have not yet prepared that QDRO, then do that ASAP, since without that the plan administrator has no idea you have an interest in the plan.

  166. Hi my parents were married for over 10 years. They divorced awhile ago (20+ year) and now that my dad wants to retire he is worried my mother has entitlement to his retirement funds. Is this true?

  167. I have a question about something called a “buy back” that allows officers in the NYPD to receive a 3 year credit towards their pension if they served in the military. My husband has been approved for the “buy back” and will receive the 3 year credit….he hopes to retire after 22 years of service with the NYPD, so he will retire as though he has been on the job for 25 years because of the credit.

    In June 2017 we will be married a total of 14 years. We are working out all the details and I don’t plan on being a GREEDY wife :), but I am just curious if the 3 year credit will have any impact on me Do I get the benefit of the 3 year military buy back as well.

    Would it be better for me to have a QDRO filed NOW (with 21+ years of service), so then we were married 13 out of 21 years of service or should I wait for 22 when he will receive an additional 3 years added to his overall pension to bring him to 25 years). My concern is that my retirement benefits might be reduced significantly if I am somehow not entitled to the additional 3 years that is added to the pension because of his military service prior to our marriage.

    I am thinking that I would be entitled to the 3 year buy back because he is receiving the credit while we are still married, but I am not 100% certain. Based upo the answer it may behoove me to get the QDRO filed before his 22 years of service. 🙂

    I just want to know if I would get the benefit of the 3 year credit as he does or would it dilute what I am entitled to because he technically earned that credit for his military service prior to our marriage.

    1. That’s a very complicated issue, since the service was before marriage but the buyback is during marriage (at least from the way you describe it. Consult with an attorney to see how it is treated under the laws of your state.

      1. I think that I saw a similar question involving early retirement type credits somewhere and there was an indication that the wife spouse would be entitled to the increase received because the right to early retirement 25 years based on 22 years was accrued during the marriage and not before. (separate line of thinking) If the law had been in place prior to the marriage, then the wife might not be entitled to early retirement benefit as well. Those are just my thoughts. Do you have any additional information?

  168. I’ve had qdro signed by judge and sent into ex husbands 401k plan administrator for processing. He has since moved his assets from 401k to an IRA. I am in need of this money to buy a home, etc. How will this affect me collecting my money going forward ? Are there more penalties if I have to take this from and IRA rather from 401k as per divorce decree and qdro ?

    1. If he transferred his share of the funds after the QDRO was served on the plan administrator, your share should still be in the plan, and should be handled however the QDRO specifies. If he transferred all the funds to an IRA before the QDRO was served, that may have been in violation of temporary restraining orders imposed by the court to prevent him making changes while proceedings were in progress. If that is the case, then you may have a claim against him for any penalties you will incur if you want funds paid directly to you from the IRA rather than transferred to your IRA.

  169. i just got papers from my ex’s pension, they owe m3 back an year…over $40,000 how do i take that… tax free or taxable?

  170. If Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) was done during the divorce proceedings and settlement was given can an ex spouse come back years later and ask for more money?

  171. PS. from Carolyn Schein – ex spouse is also 70. There is apparently NO forced retirement age for Federal employees in FEMA, he is not in Soc. Sec. system so has been collection 1/2 of mine for about 3 years!

  172. Help. Just turned 70 yesterday and retired 6 mos. ago. Divorced husband in 1999 after 23 years marriage. Our QDRO said I get 50% of his retirement for our 23 yrs. of marriage. He is now in his 36th year of working for same job (FEMA) and refusing to retire as he says he cannot afford to. Meanwhile, I am in bad shape financially, having just soc. sec. and small pension, and he insists i cannot withdraw any of the money due to me UNTIL he retires. My fear is I will die w/in 5 years and never see this money. Advice? I am now in MI and all this happened in IL where he still lives. I can’t afford an atty!

    1. If you filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the retirement plan administrator, then you can collect since he has reached (and passed) the earliest age at which he can retire. If you failed to file that QDRO, then do so right away so you can begin collecting.

  173. Beverly Steinmetz

    hello,

    I was awarded 50% of my ex-husbands pension (50% of what was paid into pension and vested up to date of separation) in divorce that was final in May 2014 after being separated 4 years (30 years of marriage) -I am not entitled to anything deposited after. He has enough time worked and at an age that he could retire if he wants to. Can I start collecting my portion of the pension now since there is already a set monthly amount I am entitled to? It would be very helpful if I can. He is 56 and I am 55.
    Thank you!

  174. A formal quadro was completed in 1996 when my former spouse and I divorced. How and when should I start to receive quadro pmts. My husband is still employed by the same co.?

  175. Hello my fiancé has been divorced since 2013 and sent the paperwork(QDRO) for his ex wife to sign for his 50% of her 401k but she never signed them. Nkw 2 yrs later he tried to get help from a lawyer and was told from the lawyer that he couldn’t help him. Would you know why the lawyer couldnt help him in this matter

  176. I was awarded half of my ex husbands 401k in September of 2016. I just found out a couple of weeks ago that he is losing his job due to a dui. I’m not sure if the Quadro was filed due to it being so soon. Can he withdrawal the money and keep it while everything is being processed and I get nothing? I’ve been calling my lawyer to make sure he is getting it filed but he isn’t responding back. My work has died down and he gets his last paycheck for support in just a couple of weeks. What can I do to move the process along quickly? How long will it take to divide if he is fired within the next month or so? I have two sons and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Please help

    1. If the QDRO isn’t in place, and the plan administrator isn’t under notice that the plan is under restraining order until the division is final, then I don’t see what would prevent the plan administrator from giving your husband whatever withdrawals he requests. So get your attorney to tell you who is processing the QDRO and make sure that they are going as quickly as possible, and make sure that your attorney has served the plan administrator with a restraining order to prevent withdrawals in the meantime.

  177. Hello Ms. Wall,
    I’ve heard that my ex-husband is going to quit his job, not retire, but not collect his pension for a couple years. In our divorce docs I am entitled to part of his pension, through the Union, when he RETIRES. Do I have to wait for my payout until he starts collecting?

  178. My ex called and said he was being offered a lump sum payoff from his pension, which in our divorce it was stated I was to receive half. He said he would give me the half (approx 47,000) however he would deduct 35% (his tax bracket). Plus think I would have to pay a 15% gift tax. In Michigan if states anything over 14,000 would be taxed as a gift. He was going to roll his half into his IRA, but I would not be allowed this option. So doesn’t sound like it would be beneficial to me. A QDRO was not filed at the time of the divorce. I did contact his pension department and they said I could submit paperwork to file a QDRO, which I did. It has been preaproved. I imagine each party has to have the order signed by the judge, correct? I live out of state where our divorce was finalized so wondering if I have to go in person to the out of state court to get it signed by a judge or is this something I can mail into the court?

    I was told by my ex once a QDRO has been filed then a lump sum will not be allowed and the 411.00 monthly payments (my half) will only be possible. My ex will probably not be to thrilled I filled out the paperwork for the QDRO, because of this, but I figured after 5 years of the monthly payments I will be clearing more $ then the $ I would have received if I took the lump payment directly from him with the tax ramifications.

    FYI-Payments would not start to 2021, when ex is 65, and I will be 66 at that time.

    If you have answers to any of the questions above I would appreciate and let me know if I am on the right track or if you have any recommendations. Do you think I need to consult with an attorney? Thank you.

    1. The QDRO must be signed by both of you and approved by the plan administrator, and there is no need for a court appearance. There is no gift tax on funds transferred between spouses or incident to a divorce agreement. You may want to consult with a divorce attorney just to be sure you are doing everything correctly.

  179. I WAS MARRIED FOR 20YR. GOT DIVORCE BUT DIDNT GET ANY 401K BUT HE DID HAD ONE. WE BEEN DIVORCE SEEN 2007 BUT I HAVENT REMARRIED. COULD I STILL GET SOME OF HIS 401K.

    1. Look at your divorce agreement and see what it says about the 401(k) and to whom it was awarded. If the agreement doesn’t address the 401(k), then talk to an attorney about opening up your divorce again for the purpose of dividing the 401(k).

  180. Married to ex for 10 years, divorce decree states I would ‘receive her marital share’ of his federal retirement and TSP. Divorce was final in 2002 and he has remarried. I’ve no money to do a QDRO and he claims his attorney said it was my responsibility to do it. I’m hearing he’s planning to retire soon and am wondering what I can do to get my money. What share do I get and what happens if no QDRO is done? What if he dies? Can I go after his current wife if he does?

  181. My friend’s father was just transferred to hospice and his new wife asked his daughters for a copy of the divorce decree. He was entitle to 50% of his ex-wife’s retirement plan. She has been retired for the last two years and has been collecting. I don’t think a QDRO was done because the divorce was over 20 years ago and she has been collecting her full amount. If he dies without a QDRO being filed, can his new wife go after his share of the interest in her retirement benefit?

  182. Oh lord give me an answer. My ex of 20 yrs died this week, I pulled out my divorce papers and saw I had been granted 47,000.00 + of his 401 k at the divorce. No qdro but I remember cashing in and getting 8000,00 of his pension $. I’ve never received any paper work re any 401k actin my name. Do you think our lawyer did the qdro. . We shared a lawyer in our no contest divorce. He retired and clearedhisaccout out. Can isue his estate?

  183. My X Husband works For John’s Manville he is a supervisor, it is a very Large Co., The Judge allowed me over 300,000 in his 401(k) (We Contested ,So we Left it up to The Judge To Decide) . I I am 63 and he is 55 years of age, so I was wondering since He has to take it out of his company will he be taxed on it before I put it in my own IRA? I would like to buy a house with it wouldI be taxed on it ,could you please let me know, thank you for all your advice . PS I read that you said something that a Roth account to be careful of, my X Husband was a Very controlling person & Never let me Know anything, , We were married 25 years. thank you again.

    1. You will need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to have the money transferred out of the plan to you. If it goes into a IRA, then it won’t be taxed until you draw it out at age 59-1/2 or older. If you have it paid directly to you, then you will have to pay tax on it.

    2. For God sake did you not invest in your own retirement plan?You are an adult that had over 39 years to plan all this out.

  184. Hello,
    Per My QUADRO, I’m can collect on my ex husbands pension when he is 55. I’m only 50 and wondering if there are any penalties based on my age or is it based on his age? The plan also has a 3% reduction for each year prior to his 62nd birthday, does that mean 3% times 7 years or 3% each year for 7years? And finally, can I continue to work and collect this pension without penalty?
    Thank you for your time.

  185. If my divorce decree state that maintenance is reviewable and the maintenance my ex sponse receive isto be considered as income. In Illinois when doing a maintenance modification and my ex earns money working and receives maintenance. Should that maintenance be calculated as income.

  186. I received 50% of my ex husbands retirement while we were married, My question is will the amount I receive be the 50% of what he earned in retirement during that 6 years Plus interest???

      1. If the plan allows a lump sum to be paid out, then you can receive it and put it into an IRA. If it goes into a Roth IRA it will be taxable at the time it is received, so be sure that you have the resources available with which to pay that tax.

  187. I was officially divorced in 2009. I had a qdro and was awarded a portion of 2 differect 403B retirement accounts. One was with TIAA and the other with a firm called VALIC. The TIAA monies were transferred quickly and an account set up in my name. However, the VALIC funds were not. I was told that I wouldn’t be able to get any of this money until my ex met certain criteria, either death, retirement, or left the college he works at. Is this normal? Is there anyway of getting the funds sooner?

    1. Check with the plan administrator at VALIC to see whether the information that you received is correct. The plan is not required to make payments to you sooner than it would have made payments to your husband if the money had stayed in his name.

  188. I was awarded a large lump sum of money from my ex husbands 401k. My question is can I Get the money to me without having to getting taxed or having to roll it over in my 401k?

  189. My husband got his job in December of 92, his divorce from his first wife was final in March of 93 and his pension from that job didn’t go in effect until June of 93. He did not have a pension before this job and the divorce decree stated that neither would claim alimony, maintenance nor future earnings. Twenty-five years later and we just found out she filed a QDRO on his pension. Is she legally entitled to his 401k that he didn’t accumulate during their marriage?

      1. I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean by provisions? If I understand you correctly, there were no future provisions given in the decree nor was there a QDRO agreed upon or filed for the past 22 years. The first time she did this was 2013. Also, she remarried in this same year. Will that remarriage effect the claim as well? Thank you for your help.

  190. I am 62 and will be divorcing my husband after 29 yrs married. I do not work and have no retirement fund of my own anymore. He works for the railroad. Can a court order him to pay before he decides to retire? If so, how? If not, are there any special circumstances that would change that? I will be at least 70 by then. I just need some information before I seek out an attorney. Thank you for any assistance.

    1. If he is still working and his income is greater than yours, then you may be entitled to support. If you are awarded a portion of the retirement plans, you can begin receiving payments at the earliest date at which he could retire.

  191. Divorce finalized 4/8/16 14 yrs married, granted 50% of pension and 50% of 401k, was told in July my qudro was drafted and going for another judges signature because supposedly must have that to start and to finish, how much longer and if I remarried will I forfeit the pension, he will not retire until he is forced to and I let him have everything else just to get an upfront 401k lump sum and 1/2 of the pension come retirement time

    1. It sounds as though you received the pension and 401(k) as property settlement, so that shouldn’t go away upon remarriage, like support does. You’ll probably want to have your share of the 401(k) transferred to an IRA in your name so you have control. That might not be possible with the pension, which will make payments to you at the earliest age at which he can retire. Check all of this out with your attorney, though, since the laws of each state are different.

  192. Victoria Naranjo

    Thank you for this website. You have helped so many of us.
    My qdro allows the option of either taking my portion of my ex spouses pension in one lump sum or monthly payments. I am retired and 62 years old.. One lump sum is simple to understand, but can you explain my other option and pros and cons of both in regards to taxes,etc.?
    Thank you
    Victoria

  193. My husband it’s getting half of my retirement, I am a teacher. He wants it now. I had told my lawer that I can’t now but after I retire. My husband is sure he is getting it soon. My lawer has not clarified it to me. Is it possible that he is getting it now eventhou I say no?

    1. If your husband is awarded a portion of your retirement, you will need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to divide the retirement. Your husband will be able to collect at the earliest age at which you are able to retire, but no later than when you actually retire.

  194. VictimOfLegalAbuse

    I have a corrupt judge over my case who was called in as a favor from my ex’s attorney. Every attorney I get tries to trick me into settling for half the percentage that I am owed. He took a TER from the military and took a qualifying Civil Service Job on the installation. Retirement was not addressed at the time of divorce because he told me that he was taking an early retirement and there would be no retirement benefits. I believed that because I did not know anything about how the army workd. He was an alcoholic and very abusive to me. He controlled every aspect of our marriage so I only knew what he told me. Finally I divorced him when he left me and the children homeless. Now I have been told by dfas that he is collecting my portion of the retirement as well as his for many years. DFAS advised me to get an attorney and have my decree amended to allow the retirement. The judge has done everything to keep me from getting financial records with a subpoena , he tells every lawyer I get not to draw up the paperwork but try to trick me into allowing them to draw uip the Military Pension Division order based on false information they have put into my files. I do not know what to do or where to go because every state agency I go to to help me with the paperwork or subpoena he (the Judge ) has already talked to them and told them not to. I am blocked at every angle and he has assigned himself to my case exclusively. I have no recourse. The lawyers have misused my funds and stolen my money. I am fully disabled and living on a very small income, I can barely make ends meet. was with ex 4 months shy of 18 yrs he went into army only 2 months after our marriage. took an early retirement incentive and took the cilvian job on the post plus reserves drilling on weekends. but now he is telling many lies to try to get out of me getting my portion of the retirement. He’s told the court that I cashed a check for half the money he received.. the lump sum of 35,000.00 which I was not aware of when he received it. He always kept the money in his pocket. I feel I have no recourse. The judge is relentless and this is against the law. He is operating under the Color of Law, refusing me due process as well as violating my rights to discovery by blocking me from obtaining that which I need. :(. I have no money to get another lawyer, even if I did, it would be senseless to do so as he will do what he did before, tell them do not assist me in getting my ex’s financial info from dfas as well as the MPDO Preparer. He (the judge) uses his Power to stop me and to steal my money, both cost of lawyers and my Arrears Spousal Maintenance and arrears Retirement, and Retirement. Any one can help here? Thank you.

  195. I have a question how long does a spouse have to start and take out of the others 401k after the divorce in FL? thank you so much.

  196. My husband and I have been married for 30 years and he left me almost 2 years ago but he still pays all my bills. He filed for divorce and in March of this year 2016, he brought the papers for me to sign. I keep all the furniture and he has a pension plan on his job that he was there for 27 years and his job doesn’t go by age to retire, it’s by years 25. He just retired in June 2016 and put the divorce on hold. In the divorce decree I am to get half of his pension, he filed the papers already in court back in March but as I said it’s put on hold. He claims it’s because he’s trying to find an attorney to help him so he doesn’t have to pay Qdro taxes.
    He has 1 rental house that he is fixing up so he can move into it and I live in apartmants and so does he. His name is on my lease and my lease is up in October of this year. What should I do to get my part of the pension because I don’t know what he’s up to. He told me not to worry that he was going to give me my portion but time is running out for me as to where I am going to live and I need that money to help me because I don’t make a lot of money. Please advise me on what to do.

    1. Once the divorce papers are signed and filed, you can have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order drawn up to have your payments come to you directly from the plan administrator. Meanwhile, if you and he have agreed that you are to get half the pension payments, you can ask him to start making the payments to you until the QDRO is in place. Filing a QDRO doesn’t trigger any taxes, so I’m not sure what you mean by avoiding paYing “QDRO taxes.” If you hire someone eto draw up the QDRO, of course they will charge you for their services, but there is no tax except on the payments you actually receive.

  197. Shannon Richardson

    My ex husband and I were married almost 12yrs. In the decree it states that I’m suppose to receive 50%. I live in ND, divorced in TX and he’s now living in Nv use to live in Az. I have been tossed between TX and Az with lawyers. Tx lawyer will say gotta call lawyer where he lives and Az says call state where divorce happened. Which state do I need to contact? It’s been 7yrs we’ve been divorced and I’m hoping it’s not to late. I’ve been struggling with this.

  198. brenda stevenson

    was marriedalmost 20 years have been divorced for 14 we filed our own papers ,it did not say anything about his retirement ,he worked 25 years with post office ,retired in june ,can i recive any of his retirement

  199. I had my QDRO’s done and approved by the Pension plans. I have been divorce now 4 years. One of these Pension Plans informed myself and my x husband that in order to collect on that Pension. He was required to pay union dues. My question is: If my x husband did not pay the Union Dues to keep the pension plan in force and forfeits it. Am I still entitled to my 50%.and can I re-coup the loss.

    1. You cannot collect more from the pension plan than their rules allow them to pay out. So if he didn’t make required payments, and they won’t pay, you are out of luck. Contact an attorney to see if you have recourse against your former husband for his failure to pay under the fiduciary rules of your state.

  200. i have been divorced for a year now my husband is near his retirement but still working can i file my QDRO now before he retire ? and how do i get teh plan name and plan administrator name and information if he is not sharing that with me?

  201. Victoria Naranjo

    Hello. I was divorced back in 1983Our marriage lasted 8years. He lives in NY and I in Pa. This was 33 years ago. Our divorce decree made no mention of any marital assets. However He will soon retire and I discovered on this site, thank you by the way, that pensions are part of property in divorce. Is it too late to set a qdro in place and, can I have decree amended to include his pension? Unfortunately I was forced to retire earlier than I wanted to due to ill health.

    1. It is not too late to have a QDRO drawn up, but it will only reflect whatever is in your divorce agreement. If the pension was omitted from your divorce agreement, see any attorney right away about how to divide an omitted asset.

  202. I was divorced in 2013 and awarded 50% of my ex husband pension. I haven’t filed a QDRO yet is there a statute of limitations on when I can file. I live in Michigan.

  203. Hello, I have been going through a divorce for the past four years. My husband has a 401k and a 403b that he transferred into an IRA in his name only. I want a QDRO, but my attorney says that I will have to pay taxes of approximately 25%, and that I should wait until he retires to access this account. I am nine years older than my husband, and will be 74 by that time!!! Also, my soon to be ex husband is not the most moral of people, has stolen money from me and also committed financial fraud so I do not trust him. What is to prevent his withdrawing the funds? What options do I have? I am afraid if I leave it there there will be nothing left.

    1. An IRA does not require a QDRO. It should state in your divorce agreement what portion of his IRA is to go to you, and then you can show that to the IRA custodian and they will transfer those funds to an IRA in your name. Since it will be going from one IRA into another pursuant to a divorce agreement, there is no current taxation of the funds.

  204. In addition, my husband has been entitled for 6 years. He chooses to continue working. Therefore, I’m entitled now. Just trying to clarify my previous response.

  205. My ex could have retired 6 years ago based on his unions 84 rule. I’m entitled to his retirement benefits but I’m only 50. Is there an approximate percentage that I can expect to loose? Because of our divorce, I’m in need of some help. If it were you, what would you think is best?

    1. If you were awarded a portion of the retirement benefits in divorce and you filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator, they can tell you what you are entitled to receive when he retires. If you have not filed with the plan, you should do so now so that they don’t pay your portion of the benefits to him.

      1. Thank you! What I’m really wondering is I am able to start receiving his retirement. I am in need of financial help. Since I’m only 50, is there an approximate interest rate that I should expect as a penalty? Or, is there no standard and each plan tells the percentage of penalty? I was just told that although my ex is entitled to full retirement based on the 84 rule, I’m not because of my age.

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          At what age you can begin getting payments depends on the plan provisions. I am not familiar with that plan.

          1. Sorry for the late response…. My husband receives vested retirement when his age and years of service is equal to 84. For me, I’m entitled to it when he’s entitled. However, they could not tell me, at this point, what percentage I would lose but that I will lose because I’m only 50. I believe they said if I were 55 I would receive the entire portion.

          2. In addition, my husband has been entitled for 6 years. He chooses to continue working. Therefore, I’m entitled now. Just trying to clarify my previous response.
            Reply

  206. Victoria Naranjo

    Hello. I was married in the 70s and have since divorced remarried and divorced. My ex from my first marriage from the 70s is planning to retire soon. We were married for about 8 years. Since it’s been so long I have lost the divorce papers. How do I find out if I am due part of his pension or 401k?

  207. Christopher Mclendon

    Ms. Wall

    My mother in law divorcedegree her ex almost 20 years ago in Washington state. In her divorce the judge decreed he would pay her half his retirement and be able to keep half of the funds from the sale of their home. He kept the money from the home sale but she just discovered he retired 9 years ago and kept all of his retirement. She was never I strutted at the time to file any paperwork with his 2 jobs he received retirement from, so he was paid out in full. Does she have any recourse she can take to retrieve themail retirement funds owed.

    Thank you in advance for any advise you can offer.

  208. I have been divorced since March 2015. My ex was a self-employed physician. He has a 401k and a Money Purchase Plan. I had a QDRO drawn up and signed by the judge., for each plan. My ex is the Plan Administrator for each plan and refuses to submit the necessary paperwork. Our divorce was and continues to be extremely contentionous. We only communicate through attorneys. Thank you!

  209. My x is retiring. It is a court order he pay alimony until I die or remarry. I have done neither of the 2. He is in the union, do i have to contact them to continue alimony payments? Thanks

  210. What if my ex won’t sign the QUADRO papers so we can get our shares that was court order.. I’ve been divorced for 9yrs?

  211. Sue Ann Martinez

    Good afternoon
    I have been divorced since 2005, my ex-husband retired in 2014 and I have the QDRO filled out and approve by NYPD. Now I don’t know what im supposed to do. Can someone please help me?

    Thank you

  212. As a part of my divorce settlement, I am supposed to get a portion of my husband’s 401K. I wanted to use a portion of that money to payoff some debts and do a few repairs on the house. Will I be taxed on this money I keep out, or penalized in any way? Is there an alternate solution for me to have access to the money and not get penalized? I live in New York State.

  213. I have been divorced for 9 years can I still collect on my ex-husbands retirement? Need money to help pay my daughters college education. We were married for 21 years

    1. Review your divorce agreement to see what it provided about the retirement. If the retirement was not discussed, then you might want to consult with an attorney to see if that is an asset that can be addressed now, as an after-discovered asset.

  214. MY husband and I are getting a divorce we have been married 5 years he has over 333,0000 in 40k we live in Texas how much would I get from that.
    thank u

    1. Texas is a community property state, so it is likely that what was accumulated during the marriage would be divided between you. Please consult with an attorney who is familiar with the laws in your state to find out what would happen in your particular situation.

  215. My divorce was final March 31, 2016. I had employed the lawyer. In the property agreement, I am entitled to half of his pension, we were married 22 years. I am 43. I need my half to make some repairs to the house I live in in preparation to hopefully sell it and split that asset and also to help me out until I get on my feet. My lawyer asked me how I wanted my portion, and I explained that I needed the money now to start my new life. I assumed when the divorce was finalized, the lawyer would have taken care of it for me, yet it’s been 2 months and I’m still waiting. I am really upset that the lawyer really hasn’t done anything for me and he even took the rest of the retainer (close to $1,000 that I had left) as fees. So I am hesitant to use him. My ex and I are amicable, so is there any way between the 2 of us, we can get this taken care of without using the lawyer, and me incurring more fees? My ex says the request needs to come from me or my lawyer, and I communicated that to my lawyer a month ago. No response. My ex now says the retirement people won’t speak to me at all. Any advise?

    1. You will need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and signed by a judge and served on the plan administrator to divide the pension plan. If the pension plan allows lump sum payments to be made before the employee reaches retirement age or retires, then you can provide for funds to be paid to you as part of the terms of the QDRO. Be aware that the lump sum distribution will be taxable to you, and that a portion of the tax will be withheld before you receive the check, and the rest will be due with your year-end income tax return.

  216. I am going to retire and to my surpise, my ex amended my divorce decree some time after, to get half my pension. I did not know anything about this until now, and did not sign it. The amedment also says that she will get this amount pre taxed. Is this legal? My ex is remarried and living well and I need the money to make ends meet. We lived in Idaho and divorced before the law was changed to become a 50/50 state. Also if she gets a pension, am I entitled to half of it?(not sure if she does), but she was a nurse before retiring a couple years ago.

    Thankyou

  217. My mom is currently going thru a divorce (will be final in Sept). My mom is currently in the process of getting a lump sum amount from a QDRO pension plan from a previous divorce which was in her indicayed in those divorce papers. Would her soon to be ex husband be eligible to receive half of that amount as marital property? She has not received the money yet as she has highered a lawyer to help with getting that pension payment and she paid for that lawyer out of her own separate funds. They no longer have joint accounts of any sort. And her divorce lawyer said that money she received maybe considered marital property even though this payment is coming from a previous divorce agreement. please help.

  218. Was married to my husband for 8 years our divorce it states i am awarded 50% of my ex husband monthly accured pension as of July 23rd 2015 that’s when our divorce was final does this mean that I’m awarded a monthly check from him moving forward based on what he tore cured monthly and 401k or does this mean what he has accured from the time we were married to the time of our divorce I will receive 50% of that lump sum

  219. Hi…I have a lump sum owed to me by my husband upon signing our divorce agreement. It is money from his business ownership. He has requested the sum be transferred from his 401k to mine and he would also add the tax to cover future penalties. Is this a smart idea? He is requesting this so he will have more cash flow to show bank when obtaining a mortgage for a house for him and my kids.
    I just want to make sure it makes sense financially for me.
    Thank you so much for your help and advice.

    1. Not sure what “add the tax to cover future penalties” means. If you receive the funds from him in cash it is tax-free to you. If you and he do a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to transfer the funds from his 401(k) to your IRA, the transfer is tax-free, but you will owe tax when you withdraw the funds in the future, and penalties as well if you are under age 59-1/2 when you withdraw. If your QDRO calls for the funds to be paid directly to you rather than transferred to your IRA, there are no penalties due but you will owe tax on the amount paid to you. If he transfers even more to cover taxes and/or penalties, remember that that amount will be taxable as well when you withdraw it, so you’ll need even more to cover those taxes.

  220. I am a teacher in NYC. My husband is also a teacher. Our salaries are comparable. I am 12 years older, and about two years from retirement. My husband, 43, is in love with another woman, and moved out a month ago. We have two teenage children and are trying to work out child support.

    We attempted to go to mediation, however,.he has decided he wants half my pension. If I retire in two years, I would not be able to support myself in the NY area. Would I really have to share my pension with him, when he is only 43 and is still working? During our 16 year marriage, I took a pension loan (since paid back) as a downpayment on our home, and brought about $350,000 into the marriage through a second job. I am unable to work that second job any longer due to health reasons. Thank you.

  221. Coulette Dobbins

    My ex husband recently retired from 25 years in the military. We were married close to 15 years. The divorce decree states I’m entitled to 50% of his service retirement. I opted not to touch his 401K. However, I found out that while we were separated he took out the CSB of $30,000 at 15 years, and didn’t notify or give me a dime of it. It was tax deductible cause he was in Afghanistan at the time. We didn’t divorce until 2 years later am I entitled to half of this considering it takes away from my half of his retirement? What should I do?

    1. You’ll need to consult with an attorney to see how your divorce decree is worded and how that affects this situation. If it is unclear, you’ll need to open up your divorce again for the purpose of dealing with this issue.

  222. Hello. I live in Pennsylvania, been divorced for a year. Is there a limit to the length of time I have to assert a QDRO after the divorce was final? Neither my ex nor I am even close to retirement age.

    1. File the QDRO as soon as you can. Just because you aren’t close to retirement age doesn’t mean something couldn’t happen between now and then. You don’t want to end up battling his heirs to get your rightful share of the retirement if he dies, or him if he quits his job and withdraws the funds.

  223. I Need Help!!

    I’ve been divorced now for over 20 years, my ex husband was in the army reserves (retired now) and he will be retiring from DC Fire Department in 2 years or less. In my divorce paper the judge said that I will receive 6% of his pension plan for 6 years. How do I go about getting it?

  224. I will try to keep this short.
    Divorced finalized 1997 in CA. We went to at paralegal and agreed on everything, when time to sign Marial Settlement Agreement, it did NOT state that I was to receive 50% of his retirement. I commented and said that this could not be filed until it states that.
    When the papers were filed there was NO MSA in the divorce paperwork at all. I called both the paralegall and my ex-husband, both were very rude about it. I believe the ex paid off the paralegal NOT to file the MSA.
    Now I live in Utah. I had been told that Kodak lost everyones retirement and no one would get any, BUT learned yesterday that wasnt true. The retirement is there.
    Since my divorce paperwork says nothing about this retirement, all earned during our 24 yr marriage, can I open the divorce up and ask for my 50% now?
    I believe the ex did all he could so I wouldnt get my fair share. I am now going to turn 63 this year and I could use that retirement to live off when I retire.
    I have my fingers crossed……..

  225. In my divorce I was awarded 50% of my ex’so marital pension through the QDRO that was set up. It is non-transferable. He wants to retire now at 55 which he can without penalty but doesn’t want to pay maintenance to out of his pension. He’s telling me to take my part of the pension now but I’m only 5 and I’m afraid of what the penalties and/or taxes will be on it will be for me. Can you help me out on this?

    1. Talk to the plan administrator about the options that are available to you. I’m guessing that you will be required to begin taking payments and paying tax on them, but there shouldn’t be any penalty.

  226. My divorce was final at the end of March of 2016. Our mediation agreement was reached at the end of February and at that time, we determined that the QDRO valuation date would be March 1st. I started the QDRO process with a QDRO attorney at the beginning of March. My ex has not been helpful in providing the necessary documents in order to complete the QDRO and, as they are his accounts, I have not been able to do anything to expedite things. Recently it occurred to me that these funds are earning quite a bit of money while they are sitting there and I am assuming that the earnings on my portion of the funds is going to be going to my ex, versus me. This would be a very good reason to continue to stall the process. Is this correct? Or, will the earnings on my portion go to me? Thank you for any help.

  227. My parents are divorced and I am 19 and would like to help my dad out. He would like to retire and receive his pension, my mother by way of court, is entitled to receive part of his retirement pension. She is very wealthy and does not need this money. So the question is, what are the forms that they would need to sign so he can receive his full pension? (She has agreed that she doesn’t want the pension but she doesn’t want to do the work) pls help

  228. Hi, I was divorced in 2015 and my ex is saying he doesn’t have to give me the money until he retires. Which is probably 20+ years from now. He is responsible for getting the quadro started and has to pay my portion of the taxes on the amount and it also says he will have to pay any gains or losses on my portion. What in the world does that mean? So confused. I though it meant that my amount will be higher the longer it sits in his 401k. But of course he says that is not true.

    1. Whatever you were awarded in the divorce from his retirement account should be memorialized in the QDRO, so that when he reaches retirement age, the plan administrator can begin making payments directly to you. What he says doesn’t have any impact – it is what your written agreement is.

  229. I received a portion of my ex-husband retirement last year and it was my only income. Do I file taxes on this.

  230. My ex husband would like to pay me my half of the amount in his 401k out of his savings (instead of getting a qdro and splitting the actual retirement account). He told me that would save a 1.5% penalty. He also said that he would pay the taxes when he starts to withdraw the money. He said that the money would be mine free and clear of tax liability and that I could invest it any way I want and not be required to roll it into a 401k because he would be responsible for the taxes. This sounds awfully decent and generous of him. Is it ok to do this? Thank you.

      1. Thank you for your reply. I feel nervous about this offer. How do I explain receiving the big sum of money to the IRS?

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          Divorce settlements are not taxable under IRC Sec. 1041, so there is no need to explain anything to the IRS. Just make sure that your divorce settlement papers reflect what you are to receive.

  231. Hi,

    This seems to be off subject to what everyone else is stating, but I have been trying to get my ex to come get her portion of what she was awarded from my IRA and she continues to put me off on meeting me to go to the bank so I can give her the money and close the account.

    How long does she have to acquire the money after the divorce?

    Thank you.

    1. If you simply withdraw the funds from the account, they will treat it as a taxable withdrawal by you, and you’ll owe tax on it. That’s not what you want. Here’s how to handle it. Show your signed and stamped copy of the divorce settlement papers to the IRA custodian, and they can transfer the funds into an IRA in her name.

  232. My husband and I are going through a divorce which is uncontested. I’m to get in the settlement 100% of his deferred compensation account. There is an QDRO that he did to transfer the account into my name, so my question is what does that mean, will I be able to have access to the funds ASAP? Also he states that an account will be set up for me by his attorney, is that true that an attorney can set up an account?

    1. If you are getting funds from his retirement account using a QDRO, you can have them paid directly to you, in which case you will pay tax on them, or you can have them transferred to an IRA in your name, in which case you will pay tax when you withdraw them after age 59-1/2. I have no idea what kind of account he anticipates his attorney will set up for you.

  233. I am in process of getting a divorce. We each have a 401k but I was much better at contributing to mine and my balance is about 100k more than in his. If he is awarded half in the divorce, is this considered an early distribution and willI I get taxed on it?

  234. I am a teacher and have a NJ State Pension. I know my husband will be receiving 50 percent of my pension when we file for divorce, but I am not yet retired. Can he get a lump sum payment now or does he have to wait until I retire and start collecting? Thanks.

  235. Hello. It’s so nice of you to answer all these questions..I am going through a mediator and it was a five year marraige in the state of NY. The mediator is saying that the courts typically don’t order a quadrro for a five year marraige. I understand it’s not mandated but I would still like to do it. He has a pension and annuity. What are your thoughts. thank you for your time.

    1. If you are awarded a portion of his pension, then you will need to do a QDRO in order to identify your portion of the plan with the plan administrator. The same would be true of the annuity, if it is part of a retirement plan. If it isn’t part of a retirement plan, then you will need to deal with the rules promulgated by the annuity issuer. Each company is different.

  236. Your site is extremely helpful. Perhaps you can help me. My attorney prepared the QDRO, Vanguard did not accept it, they said my ex husbands account was closed. Yet he had made several withdrawals. After many delays, his attorney is saying I can have a certain amount transferred to an IRA, the other in shares. I am unemployed and barely getting by. Do I have to take shares? And since I need the money immediately what would be the best way to handle the IRA? Thank you so much!

    1. If your spouse’s qualified retirement plan still exists, you can serve a QDRO on it. If the QDRO says that the funds will be paid directly to you, they will withhold for state and federal taxes and send you a check. You will then need to report it on your income tax return and pay any additional taxes due. If it rolls into an IRA, you will incur penalties along with the taxes if you withdraw it before age 59-1/2, so it is clearly better to make the withdrawal using a QDRO, if the qualified retirement plan still exists.

  237. I am 68 years old, divorced in 1988. I have been living in poverty since 2010 when I got sick and had to take early retirement. I was 62 at the time and lived off my small retirement while paying out the wazoo for health insurance you get to keep when you leave a company. (I forget what its called). anyway when my ex retired several years ago, i got a statement from his employment about his retirement. I called them and all they asked me was if I got any of his 401k when we divorced. When we separated, there was a financial division of property. which only stated that I did not get any of his 401k at that time because i got a small trailer we had purchased. He lied about the amount of his 401k in court because he had taken most of it out and put into a savings account that I knew nothing about. He hid all check stubs, bonuses and 401k statements from me during our marriage. I was young and naive and did not think he was that greedy until AFTER we divorced. Then I saw his true colors. SC is an equal distribution state and I feel I should have gotten half of his retirement. Our divorce papers did not specify retirement distribution (and I had a sorry attorney). There was a letter sent to his attorney by my attorney stating that I should get the house in exchange for any of his retirement. That was never answered or addressed. It fell through the cracks. Fast forward many years and I sold him my portion of the house due to financial hardship, getting only 10% of what I should have gotten but I was desperate. He retired less than 10 years ago. We were married 22 years. Im living in poverty and he has everything he wants and money to throw away. Is it too late for me to sue him.?? I cant sue his company because he took a lump sum. And he had already drawn out his 401k and put it in a bank before he retired. I know he told his company that I didnt get anything when we separated, but that was a separation, not the actual divorce decree. Thx, Shirley

    1. If he had accounts that were not divided in the divorce, see an attorney imeediately about getting your share of those accounts. As for his retirement, if he was awarded the funds in the account, there is likely little that you can do years later. But if he took funds out prior to the division, and those funds were in an account when you and he divorced, those funds should have been divided.

  238. I was divorced in 2002 and was granted 50% of x husbands retirement. He has now retired. This is what the divorce degree states, “By agreement of the parties, Husband ________, will be eligible for retirement benefits under the Civil Service Retirement System and/or Federal Employee Retirement System based on employment with the United States Government. Wife, or former spouse, ____, is entitled to fifty percent, as of this date, share of employee husband’s self-only monthly annuity under the Civil Service Retirement System and/or Federal Employee Retirement System, including COLA’s and pay adjustments.”
    There was never a Quadro set up. How can I go about getting this taken care of?
    Thank you.

  239. My dilemma is quite different than those above. After being married for 20 years and raising our two kids almost single handedly, our marriage ended in a very contentious divorce and custody battle. After several years, out of the clear blue, my ex asked me to sign paperwork, to get a percentage of his pension when he died. I couldn’t have been more surprised but chalked it up to guilt. At the time, he was fairly clear headed and still able to work. He abused alcohol & drugs, in addition to having Hepatitis C & Diabetes 2 and passed away in 2013. I had to sign more paperwork for the portion of his pension. Unfortunately, our daughter, who is now 27, seemed very sure he meant to re-sign the pension to her, though by then he had been fired and was not usually too coherent. We are talking about a little over $400.00. Our 18 yo son was unemployed, failed out of college and lived w/me for 2 more years. Because, I will not sign the money over to my daughter (if that is even possible), she has not talked to me in OVER two years!!! I am 63 and will retire in two years. I have lived mostly paycheck to paycheck all of my life. Finally, I can pay my own bills on time. And, do not have to worry about how much food I buy. I am by no means wealthy but would like to retire as comfortably as possible. Have you come across this issue in the past? What do you think?

  240. We divorced in 2004. The Qdro was court ordered, yet, never rendered or fulfilled. I just found out he passed away 1/25/2016. Am I still entitled, and how do I collect, if so?

    1. Talk to an attorney immediately. If it isn’t too late, you may be able to prevent the proceeds being paid to someone else. If you are too late, you likely will have to commence legal action against whoever received the funds. You should do so before they spend the money and there is nothing to collect.

  241. My husband and I are divorcing. he retired this year and we both get a railroad annuity. Can my payments be decreased because of the divorce?

  242. What if a QUADRO was drafted and they will not pay u the money because ur ex husband took a home loan against it in 2001 and never paid the loan off. Am I screwed?

  243. I divorced in 2001 and was awarded 1/2 of my ex-husbands retirement at the time we divorced. A QUADRO was put into place and I was told that I would receive that money when my husband retired. He retired almost a year ago and is not being cooperative. I have two sets of court papers that list the exact amount that I am to receive. Do I have to hire another attorney to receive my portion of our divorce settement all though my final decree states this amount?

    1. Since the QDRO is in place, you may communicate directly with the plan administrator to get your share of the retirement payments. As for payments that your ex already received, if part of them were to go to you and he won’t remit those funds voluntarily, you may need to get an attorney involved.

  244. This site has been very helpful to me thus far. I have a QDRO in place and now my partner’s 401k will be transfering my portion into an account in my name. But I am giving some of the monies back to my partner so she can pay down her debt as well. I will be dunned the whole amount $46,000 in the next tax year and we are on good terms. I am told the plan will withhold 20% out of the gate. I am keeping $20.000 and she is getting the rest of the $46.000 minus the 20% withholding, to allow her to restart her life as well..

    I am wondering if I should leave part of my eventual portion $20.000, say keep $10,000 in cash and annuitize the rest to save on the big tax hit up front?

    I am 62 years old (so no penalty worries) but read about taking out what cash I need right now ($10, 000 of my $20, 000) and annuitizing the rest to avoid taxes instead of cashing out the whole 401k account at the beginning? I am low income on disability and small pension (less than $20,000 a year in income) so saving every penny from the tax man is important to me.

  245. Hi i want to know there was an agreement made between my mom an dad that she receives half of his pension and provident fund when he retires ..they long time divorce think about 8years..his still working ..I want to know if its possible .

    1. If their divorce agreement provided that she receive half of his pension, she should have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared so that she can receive her share from the pension plan administrator once he is eligible to retire. If the Provident Fund is another retirement account, then it will likely require a QDRO as well.

  246. Divorced recently after a 5 year marriage and we submitted a QDRO application for me to get 50% of the value of contributions and growth of his 401k from when we married to date of divorce. It seems that it will come to me as a distribution to a new 401k in my name, as I have no other retirement fund. I have debt I want to pay; can I close out the account after distribution to pay that or does a cash distribution have to be specified in the QDRO? My ex will not be happy for me to be debt-free, and I wanted to avoid letting him know about my finances, even though he was resigned to that fact that this is what the law allows me. I’m thinking that it would get settled when I pay my taxes anyway but am not sure. I hate to take a hit but I’d pay the 10% penalty just to keep him out of my business- the divorce was quite acrimonious. Would appreciate your thoughts, thank you.

    1. To avoid the 10% penalty (and possibly a state penalty as well), the cash distribution must be provided for in the QDRO. Remember that taxes will be withheld from the cash distribution, and you may owe additional taxes when you file your tax return for 2016. Any funds that are not distributed to you will go to an IRA in your name, not a 401(k), unless you choose to leave them with the plan administrator.

  247. I am on disability SS. I draw $800 month off of my own SS. I was awarded 5 yrs.it ex husband retirement. Getting ready to go to court for QDRO hearing. I will be 60 in June. Will I lose my disability income when I collect this? Thank you

    1. I also don’t have representation for the court hearing for the QDRO. Will the judge do that? Or I do it? If I do it , where do I go and what paperwork do I get? I can’t afford representation. Thank you

  248. my husband and i have been married 36 years and are divorcing. he had two retirements and i have none even though i worked the entire time. he is giving me the larger of the retirements. he is disabled and recieves 4000 a month. i am 69 and he is 57. will i be able to draw a monthly income from this ira, since i am past retirement age?

  249. My ex-Husband is an attorney and retired in the middle of our divorce. The divorced was finalized and specified a QDRO needed to be implemented to divide ex-husbands retirement that he had already been receiving a monthly benefits from. The attorney who was hired to complete the QDRO discovered ex-husband had selected an “unmodified benefit” through CalPers leaving no survivor benefits and upon his death my benefits I was awarded will then end. There is no lump sum nor survivor benefits and i was told I could get the court to order him to carry a life insurance policy for the amount I was awarded as part of my community property interest. On what grounds can the court order that because I do live in a state that recognizes community property? There are also surviving children as well.

  250. I am divorced 10 yrs and in the divorce decree it is stated I am to get 50% of my ex-husbands retirement. I was dealt with so many issues raising 2 teenage daughters, moving, adjusting my career (nursing) to meet the needs of my children, the financial lose and caring for my mother with Alzheimer’s and required much hands on care until her death. Then once settled into a school health position (to accommodate my daughters school schedule as a single parent) my colleague went missing and found beheaded and define red by her -ex who then killed himself.
    I’ve been through rough times but know I will need to do the best I can to obtain a QRDO and hope it helps (or works) to enable me to obtain 50% of my ex’s retirement of which he has already started. Can any understand my predicament? Where do I begin?

  251. I’ve been divorced now since 2002 my ex has worked until this year how do I find out if my divorce papers allow me to collect on his retirement we were married for 33 years I now live in California and he’s in North Carolina we were divorced in South Carolina. We were married in California in 1970 as far as I can see my divorce papers don’t say anything about the retirement. I am now 69 years old.

    1. The way to see if your divorce agreement provides for you to receive a portion of his retirement is to review the provisions of the agreement. If they award the retirement to him, then you are not entitled to receive any portion. If the agreement is silent regarding a pension that was earned during your marriage, consult an attorney about dividing an overlooked asset.

  252. I contacted Ford Motor and asked why did my pension amount change from 1000.00 to 67.00 mo., In the divorce We were married 15 yrs. but because we separated many times I received 7.5 yrs of his pension. He divorced me when his girlfriend became pregnant. I overheard that he got a lump sum and I never received anything. I am in the dark. He get about 4000.00 mo. and I only get 67.00 mo. So, he is retired but what did get? My divorce attorney is deceased. I went to one attorney and after my being in his office for about 5 mins. he charged me 100.00 and told me the QDRO had changed. I contacted the plan administrator at Ford and was told nothing else was available. Really? Can I take my ex back to court or is the statute of limitation up on case. We divorced in about 96. I filed QDRO on time in 2005. I am on disability. Please help.

  253. You keep referring too the plan administrator …. To ask for a guideline , if you are filling out the paperwork yourself … Is that from the place where my ex has his retirment ? He is a police officer .. So I would need to contact the plan administrator from the policemans pension ? He is not cooperating at all … So I need to do this all my self .

  254. My wife is military and has been cheating on me for the last 5 years , i have evidence and even her recorded admitting to having sex with another guy we have been married 9 1/2 years and have 2 kids . Am i in title to alimony and half of her retirement

  255. I just found out that my ex husband signed the divorce papers over a year ago. In it, I receive a portion of his 401k. Do I have a timeline to get those funds?

  256. I am trying to help my sister she was divorced in 2007 and has QDRO for 50 percent of ex husband pension upon his retirement. He continues to work at age 69 and she will not get her payment until he retires. He works for town in mass is there anything that can be done. Per the town adm she will only get benefits when he retires

    1. The QDRO should spell out what she can and cannot get. In general, she should be eligible to receive benefits at the earliest he could retire. But she should consult an attorney to read and interpret the document for her if she can’t determine if that’s what it provides.

  257. I am in the making of a separation. I have no lawyer and can not afford one. I am 60/husband73
    I agreed to 200 a month from his pension/he was going to pay me directly-now his lawyer wants me to get the qudro form because without it my husband would have to pay taxes on it. I feel I agreed to 200 monthly from him- do I have to be the one to get thee form?

  258. Was married for 19 years and my husband retired at 20. He is telling me I have to choose between half his retirement and alimony. Is that true?

  259. How can I get information on my husbands retirement plans to determine if there is a pension benefit along with his other accounts. We separated in July 2014, I then filed for divorce in August and he retired in December. He has two IRA’s set up and funded from his employer but I need to make sure there is not another pension benefit also. I would like to know if a QDRO needs to be used or what paper work needs to be used in this instance in order to protect my portion of retiremnet?

    1. Your attorney can subpoena your husband’s employer for that information, or send your husband a notice to produce documents. The former will probably be more fruitful.If the only accounts are IRAs, then no QDRO is needed. Check with an attorney to see how accounts are divided in your area.

  260. I need guidance. Live in NC, ex husband has been very difficult. Did mediation for settlement but he backed out after he obtained divorce. Lawyers are TOO involved with each other. and mine especially has taken me for a ride. A judge signed and order for a court hearing to resolve the issues but both lawyers got continuations for one year, until I finally demanded something be done or I was going to contact someone as to why court order not followed. He filed some kind of papers with a different judge and this one said to get everything to him in weeks as all the CORRECT papers had not been filed, and then he would set a court date. Never happened either. I get a bill today for $3,000 and I have already paid this much or more and still have nothing. He has filed a QUADRO to get monies from IRA but that paper was $1,000 and another lawyer in the firm did it as had more experience ? I have so many questions of shoddy practices, even the ex ‘s lawyer sent me a friend request on FB. I have heart failure and other disabilities and feel like I may not see any $$. Where should I turn next ? I could not change lawyers as not one in this town that is trustworthy either and others do not come to our county. Help me Please. Thank You

  261. Hello,
    Im going through a divorce as I write this post…we had a settlement conference and the judge told him I was entitled to half of his pension because we been married for 10+ years. The problem i’m having is figuring out if I have to wait till he retires to get my half…I don’t make much money because im in school..is there a way I can get the pension before he retire..hes not retiring for the next 18 years.. im in Missouri..

    1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

      Once you and he file the Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator identifying what portion of the plan is yours, you can begin getting payments at the earliest date at which your former spouse is eligible to retire.

      Ginita

  262. Question.. I was married 28 years. Divorced due to drug addiction on my husband’s part. In our divorce his pension was split between us both. We divorced on Dec 2009 and He was suppose to have taken care of getting the QDRO. I kept asking him and he said he did but I got no record of it. March 2011 he committed suicide. I told his former place of work and they said he didn’t file one that I don’t qualify to receive his pension without it. I gave up. Is there anything I can do? Do I have a chance in getting it? He was mentally ill during that time due to his addiction.

  263. Question, I’m suppose to give my ex 20 % of my retirement, does my ex have to claim that as income and can I claim the amount on my taxes that I give my ex. If so, can I do it personally or have to go thur the court system

    1. In general, divorce agreements call for a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to be filed, so that he is paid directly by the plan administrator and he can report that on his tax returns. If it was ordered to be paid by you as alimony, you can claim a deduction on your tax return for alimony paid. Look at your divorce agreement, and if you have any question about how it is to be characterized and handled, contact your attorney for clarification.

  264. Hi I have been married for 17 yrs. Third marriage for both of us. I did not plan on finding myself at age 65 having to be starting over..I am living in a house that my husband inherited from his mother but which I contributed hard work and my own money renovating when we moved in 2 yrs ago. I now will find myself having to move out and have to support myself with only 800 social security while he stays in the comfort of this house and does not want to pay me one cent in spousal support etc. I have 145 in an IRA that was money i inherited from my mother (whom he had nothing to do with) and will have to be dipping into that for living expenses even though i had planned to keep most of it invested. Between his pension and SS income alone, he has 2600 a month. I contributed to household bills and spent 17 yrs catering to this man and feel i should not be forced out into the world with nothing from him. I also paid for every household item, furniture, etc myself. Even though 145,000 in IRA and am age 65, but little monthly income, should i be entitled to spousal support or any of his pension?

  265. My husbands pension is through his union. They don’t state an lump sum amount. They only state what his monthly amount will be when he retires. Does this mean I have to wait to receive my portion ? Or is there a way I can receive mine in a lump sum now because I have lost my job due to having to move to another state and also had surgery and unable to work.

    1. If the plan allows for lump sums, then you’ll be able to get your share in a lump sum. If not, then you’ll get payments once the paperwork is in place to divide that if you divorce. If you don’t divorce, he will get the payments or lump sum, if applicable. There is no way you can get them to pay you a lump sum if the plan doesn’t call for it, so your husband can ask the plan administrator whether it it possible. But remember that you’ll have to pay tax all at once on a lump sum, and likely at a high tax rate, depending on how much the lump sum is.

  266. I don’t think my wife is going to do that but I have the paperwork the judge said I can reopen the case anytime I want to can I do too qdro by myself what do if she doesnt want to do it.

  267. my divorce was in 2011 my wife left me her retirement I’ll try to get my odro but they said they couldn’t find anything how do I get help with this did I wait too long.

  268. I got a divorce from my wife she left me her retirement what do I do to make sure I get it when I become old enough I’m 52 now I need someone to help me with

  269. My husband of 5 years recently said he is unhappy and wants a divorce. We have decided to work things out, but I still distrust him. I do not work and am the beneficiary to his IRA. We have decided to sell our house and downsize. In order to do so, my husband would like to withdraw two payments from his IRA account to pay off mortgage; therefore less risk on having two mortgage payments. My understanding is that if we end up separating, I am entitled to half of monies that were put into the IRA during the marriage.
    My question is: Will that withdrawal be deducted from the monies I’m entitled to?
    Thank you for your time

    1. We are not attorneys and I can’t give you legal advice. But I imagine that if you divorced, what is left in the IRA would be divided between you, as would the equity in the homes. After withdrawing money from the IRA to pay off the mortgage, the IRA balance would be less and the equity in the homes would be higher. Unfortunately, you’ll also have a heckuva tax bill to reckon with, since you’ll owe federal and state taxes as well as federal and state penalties for early withdrawal from an IRA, if he isn’t yet 59-1/2.

      1. My husband is 67, and I do realize there will be some penalties. I do appreciate your rapid response. What a wonderful website and contribution you’ve made. Thank you.

  270. Hi, I have a question regarding my part of my ex husbands pension. We were married March 2003, separated September 2009, Divorced finalized March 2015. He retired May 2011 and has been receiving retirement benefits since. I was awarded in our California divorce, 1/2 of his pension for the duration of our marriage. A QDRO is in progress but being that I’m 45, will I immediately be issued any monies since I am not of retirement age? And how is the amount I receive calculated?

  271. I have been divorced since 2006.In the divorce papers it says my ex gets half of my pension. We were married 17 years and I worked 9 years as a teacher in NJ. We never had a QDRO or notified my pension admin. Now he came up with a sum that he thinks I owe him? I am 47 and will not retire for quite a while. Should I get a lawyer of ignore him?

    1. You don’t owe him anything, he has a claim against your retirement plan for payments in retirement. Suggest to him that he has a QDRO drawn up to notify the plan administrator how much of the plan is his, so he can get payments when retirement time comes.

  272. hello if my wife get her bonus afther divorces can I can get some % my income are 44.000 and her is 220.000 a year .if I gualify

  273. Pingback: Retirement Money Split Divorce | Fast Barbara A King

  274. Why my husband have in his own retirement papers that shows that he is single if we being married for almost 11 years? Also, it shows that he have 0 dependents and we have a son together and he also takes care of me since I’m a full time student and I’m not working. Please, can you explain to me if that is a good or bad thing? Thank you!

    1. I cannot tell you why he has it written somewhere that he is single with no dependents, nor can I tell you whether that is good or bad, since I don’t know what the context is or what the document on which that information appears relates to. You’ll need to find someone to look at it and explain it to you.

  275. Pingback: Retirement Funds After Divorce | Fast Barbara A King

  276. My ex and I was divorced in 1992 after 7 years of marriage. Inthe divorce papers I was to recieve a portion of his retirement. He turned 60 in August 2015. The company he worked for closed their doors and he has recently been approved for Social Security because of 2 heart attacks. He has remarried, divorced and remarried the same woman and she is slowly selling everything he has and has already lost a house to foreclosure and just bought another one. My question is, there was never any QRDRO orders mentioned. What do I have to do to get my part of his retirement before she sends him to the poorhouse again. Since the company closed more than 10 years ago, I don’t know who to turn to or where to start. I don’t have alot of money and really can’t afford to go back to an attorney.

    1. You can get the retirement only if it still exists. So I guess your first order of business is filing a petition to get that information from him. If you don’t hire an attorney or paralegal, you’ll have to figure out how to do that in your jurisdiction.

  277. Pingback: Pension Income Splitting Divorce | Fast Barbara A King

  278. Hi Ginita, my husband and i have been married almost 8 years, and he had a Condo with approx. $100K worth of equity before we were married. We since moved that to 2 different home over the 8 years and now there is about $90 in total equity in todays market. The condo he was the only signer, but we were both signers for the next 2 homes. Am I entitled to any of that equity? He tells me that I am not because he had the money going into the marriage.

    Thank you,

    Julia

  279. Hi, I was wandering if I could get a little advice I am 49 years old and just got my disability. When I went thru my divorce I was granted half my husband pension, his pension states he has to be 65 or pass,or be on disability. My question is can I take my portion early or do I also have to wait…

    1. First of all, paperwork should be filed with the pension administrator to get your portion of his pension put into your name. If you have done that already, then you should be able to call the pension administrator and ask that question. Each plan is different, and that’s the person who can tell you what the rules are for the plan.

  280. I decided to leave the company and withdraw my retirement, my ex and I agreed that we would not bother each other retirement. Do I still need to notify her since we don’t have no contact and she is very vindictive towards me? And i know she wouldn’t sign anything!

  281. My mother divorced my father 19 years ago. They were married for 18. We recently found out he just retired. When my mom divorced she got her three kids with barely any child support, no alimony, no pension/retirement. Basically it was a really bad situation and after fighting for her kids for 2 years she just gave in to his demands (I.e. Money). I am wondering if there is anyway for her to go back and ask for part of his pension? The divorce was in CA and my mom/siblings now live in WA (biological father in CA).

    1. If the Marital Settlement Agreement gave your father the entire pension, then I don’t see any way that could be changed 19 years later. If the MSA was silent about the pension, then she should consult an attorney about whether the case could be opened up again for the purpose of distributing an overlooked asset.

  282. I will be receiving part of my exhusband’s retirement. I know I’m supposed to reinvest,but have been diagnosed with cancer. The medical bills are very high and we are behind on our other bills. How much will I get taxed if I use the money

    1. You will owe taxes at whatever your tax bracket is on your tax return. You will also owe a 10% federal tax penalty if you are under 59-1/2, and may owe state penalties as well. If your medical expenses exceed 10% of your income, the retirement you receive to cover that excess will escape penalty.

  283. I have. Qdro but he hasn’t retired yet i was granted half of pention for 16 yrs of marriage I need the money now how can I get it

  284. Our agreed upon settlement included me receiving a portion of my ex husband’s IRA. The divorce is final and he says he’s completed the paperwork to rollover the funds to my IRA but now says he doesn’t like the amount and so hasn’t sent in the forms. Can he change his mind now that the divorce is final and simply not comply?

  285. My ex husband and I both are 63. He cleaned out his 401(k) plan and I was wondering if there is anyway possible for me to receive a portion of that money. If so, now that he is retired, how would I go about doing that and because we live and have always lived in the state of Virginia would I be entitled to any of that.

    1. If you were awarded part of his 401(k) in your divorce, you should have done a Qualified Domestic Relations Order so that your portion would go to you. If you were awarded part of the 401(k) and didn’t do that QDRO, see an attorney immediately. If your divorce agreement gave him the 401(k), then you are not entitled to any portion of it. If it wasn’t addressed in your divorce agreement, then you need to see an attorney immediately about dividing an omitted asset.

  286. My step-father just passed away in June 2015. He divorced his first wife in 1981 and he married my mother in 1984. At the time of the first wife’s divorce, the decree listed no assets. He retired in 1992 and began collecting his pension. My mother is trying to collect on his pension but they are giving her a hard time. Is there any way that his ex-wife can try to collect that pension benefit instead of my mother? Also, his life insurance listed my mother as a beneficiary but they are also giving her a hard time. Is his life insurance considered an “asset” of his estate (he had no real assets when he passed, he didn’t own the home or bonds/stocks only his car) or is it separate from the estate?

    1. When he began collecting his pension, he was required to name his spouse as his beneficiary unless your mother waived that right in order for him to collect higher benefits during his lifetime. If she did that, then the pension died with him. If she was named as his beneficiary, then she should receive benefits. It may be that at the time of his divorce a portion of his benefits were awarded to his former spouse. If so, she is eligible for that portion of the benefits. The plan administrator should have clear records showing what happened and who (if anyone) should get survivor benefits.

      As for the life insurance, if it was paid current at the time of his death and it named your mother as a beneficiary, then she should collect the benefits. If he was the owner of the policy, then it was an asset of his estate that passes to whoever was named as beneficiary.

    2. When he began collecting his pension, he was required to name his spouse as his beneficiary unless your mother waived that right in order for him to collect higher benefits during his lifetime. If she did that, then the pension died with him. If she was named as his beneficiary, then she should receive benefits. It may be that at the time of his divorce a portion of his benefits were awarded to his former spouse. If so, she is eligible for that portion of the benefits. The plan administrator should have clear records showing what happened and who (if anyone) should get survivor benefits.

      As for the life insurance, if it was paid current at the time of his death and it named your mother as a beneficiary, then she should collect the benefits. If he was the owner of the policy, then it was an asset of his estate that passes to whoever was named as beneficiary of the policy.

  287. I was the bread winner during my 23 years of being married to a drunk, cheating and abusing husband. Unfortunately the one who made the money is the one who is screwed. My divorce papers state that my ex gets half of my retirement. If they did not put a QDRO on the money does my ex still get half?

  288. I’m hoping you can answer a question for me. I was awarded 50% of my husbands retirement through a QDRO. When we divorced the administrator informed both me and him that in order for him to be eligible for this retirement plan he would need to keep his Union dues paid up to date. My question is: if I was awarded half and he does not keep up his union dues and loses his rights to the retirement plan. (He’s spiteful and irresponsible) Am I still entitled to be compensated. My divorce paperwork states that that the court has the right to enforce the judgement.

    1. This is a legal question, and you will need to consult with an attorney about your rights if by his actions (or failures) he loses the retirement. It may be that your portion is in some way protected since you secured it with the QDRO.

  289. I was divorced in 2006. Our divorce decree states I am entitled to 1/2 his retirement, at the time valued at $26,000. My cruddy divorce attorney told me that in order for her to complete and file a QDRO on my behalf, it would cost me an additional $1,000, on top of the $5k I had already payed her. I didn’t have the money, so a QDRO was never done. My ex has changed jobs several tmes since, so i have no idea what retirement plan he has now or who administates it. My 18yr old daughter told me today that her dad told her recently (he was complaining to her about the cost of her 1st year college tuition) that he had no money put away for when he retires (he’s only 48). If this is true and he took all the money out of his retirement account, is he still liable to me for the amount the divorce decree states?

  290. I was divorced in CA OK n 1986. I was on LTD and was in abuse mairage of 13 years. Couldn’t afford a lawyer so there is nothing in the decree stating anything about his pension. He was a federal employee for most of that time so there is no ss benifit. Am I able to refile for pension since he is now retired.

  291. I have been divorced since 1997, was married for 13 years. My ex told me that the pension that he paid into while we were married went bankrupt or was embezzled or something. I can’t afford an attorney, how can I find out if this is true?

    1. Most pensions are protected under the Pension Benefit Guaranty Board. Ask your husband to provide documentation regarding that pension, or to give permission for you to talk to the pension administrator for the company.

  292. I was divorced in 2010. I filed on my own and paid a paralegal to do my paperwork.
    I didn’t realize till after the divorce was final, that my ex husbands pension was not put in
    my divorce settlement. I was married for 20 years and we have 2 children together. I did receive child support and alimony since he was the main provider.

    I found out he is planning on opening his own business with some of his retirement money. What should I do, because I don’t want to lose out on anything that I have earned through our marriage. He is also remarried but no children with his new wife of 2 years.

    Thank u sincerely,

  293. In 2007 my ex and I were divorced after 23 years of marriage. In April of 2015 we finally settle the property which has to do with is retirement from the military. On July 1st. When the military started sending my part of the retirement to me. I found out that they took the portion of child support that he pays to me out of my portion of the retirement. So I am basically paying for my own child support. I thought that I would get my part of retirement plus what he owes me for child support. Please help me to understand this. Thank-you.

  294. Hi, my divorce is final and my check for half of the payment for the QDRO was cashed in June so I was wondering when I should expect my half from my exes retirement. And also does the check get sent to me in the mail? I am currently unemployed. Thanks

    1. Ask the person drawing up the QDRO what they expect the timetable to be. Usually your funds are rolled into an IRA, but you can request that they be paid to you directly. They will be taxable if you receive them, so expect 20% to be deducted for federal withholding taxes and possibly additional for state withholding taxes. And any additional taxes will be due with your tax return next April.

  295. Johnnie browder

    can i modify my divorce after he divorice in1998 he was still in the army at time he divorce.DFAs told me to modify to receive half of his retirement. We were marriage 16 years of army service.i did not sign any papers file for the divorce. hecarriage me as his wife. untile he got marriage in 2010 i never sign not to receive his army insurance. i told i need to sign it i do not want it. can i use a CPA to modify the paper work

  296. Hi there. I am having my final msa drawn up now to include the qdro of 30% of his retirement. It is a settlement I took to receive more monthly from him. He works for the state of CA and was told that i would have to have this portion transferred into an IRA under my name.
    Once the MSA is done and signed. How long will it take till I can access the IRA in my name? Do I have to wait until my divorce is final? If so, how long after signing my final papers will my divorce be final?

    I am needing this to purchase a car from ASAP and understand I will be paying penalties and taxes, but i have no other option.

    thanks in advance!

    1. If you need to draw out money, be sure that the QDRO provides that some of the funds will come directly to you rather than going into your IRA. That way you will avoid penalties for early withdrawal.

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          How long it takes depends on the speed with which the plan administrator approves the document, but generally less than three months.

  297. I was married in 1992 and divorced 2003, my x husband died November 2014 , called his former employer about his pension and found out that there’s QUADRO in placed and I’m starting to received check next month . My questions are 1) should I get back pay since he died last November 2) how to go about putting that money somewhere else so don’t get taxed on , I’m 47 and has full time job. Thanks you for any advice you can give me

    1. You’ll need to ask the plan administrator if there’s an option for you to roll the entire amount to an IRA in your name, rather than receiving monthly payments, or if you at least can delay receiving payments until you reach retirement age.

  298. Hi
    I live in Ca.
    I am divorced and filed a QDRO, leaving the money separated but administered by my X’s company. Recently I received notice that I have to move the money. It stated in my QDRO that after the funds were separated, at the earliest time thereafter, the money would be moved.
    Do I have to do this? My thought was to just leave it in his account until later (I have the QDRO filed) but they separated it, and I get my own statement. I’m not sure what is best.
    Second question:
    My fiancé is divorced, but neither he or his X have filed for the QDRO to separate his retirement. Any reason just to leave it be? Should I insist he file the QDRO before we marry? I wouldn’t want to fight her at a later date in court.
    Thank you!!

    1. If the company says you have to move the money, then I’m guessing you have to move the money to an IRA in your name, to avoid current taxation. You can certainly ask them for an explanation. There’s really no reason to leave it with his employer, since it is likely that the administrative fees charged to the account are far greater than any fees you would incur with an IRA from a mutual fund company such as Vanguard, Fidelity, T. Rowe Price, etc.

      If you marry and your husband’s former spouse has a claim on his retirement, upon his retirement or death you will certainly be locked in battle with her, because I’m sure she’d assert her rights at that time. So it is best to get the paperwork handled to clean up the rest of his divorce.

  299. Hi, I’m getting a divorce and me and my husband have decided to cash out his retirement fund and 401k without involving our lawyers, or using QUDRO, we plan on drawing up an agreement to split 50/50, is this wise. And what’s the process.

    1. If you don’t draw up a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, when he withdraws 50% of the 401(k) plan and retirement fund and gives it to you, he will owe taxes on the entire amount plus penalties for early withdrawal. If you put it into your IRA for your retirement, you’ll owe a penalty of 6% every year for over-contribution to your IRA, which could be avoided if you had used a QDRO. If you draw up the divorce agreement yourself, be sure that you include all the boilerplate clauses that are required in your state and have it in correct legal form, or it will not be accepted for filing.

  300. HI!
    I’m divorcing soon and need to know is it best to transfer my portion of my husbands 401k with fidelity into my own fidelity acct. or should i invest my part into something that will get me a better return on these funds?
    This is the only retirement money I have. I have been a SAHM for the duration of our marriage.
    Thank you!

    1. Fidelity has a wide range of mutual funds from which to choose, so there is no need to switch out of Fidelty “to get a better return.” But you might want to explore getting professional management for your funds, if you don’t have the expertise to do it yourself. If you want to do it yourself, consider investing in a target retirement fund that reduces the portfolio risk as you near retirement age.

  301. The QDRO was approved after several attempts…now my ex has refused to file for the pension from the corporation he worked for before we were divorced and he moved to another state..so basically the pension is lost to me because he refused to request it just so I will get none of it…is there anything I can do besides wait him out?

  302. I am very confused about claiming social security of ex spouse. I qualified under all the other conditions. I plan to claim when i turn 62 (he will be 68) but from what my friend is telling me, i would be making too much to get a dime. Is there an income limit on being able to claim.

    1. If you are below full retirement age, they will deduct $1 from your benefits for each $2 you earn above $15,720. So most working folks won’t receive much of anything, and should wait to collect until they reach full retirement age or quit working, whichever comes sooner.

  303. My ex wants to help me and our children by taking a loan from his 401K to give me what was awarded in our divorce. We both just recently found out there is a QDRO in place we were never aware of and discovered at the county district clerk. He has been to see an attorney to see if he could do this and said that it could be done but has to change all the legal documents that he said he’d pay for. He also said that it would be tax free to do it this way. My question… are the retirement funds that were awarded to me, that are still sitting in his 401K, has it still been investing? Could it be more or less? Would they have put it in a separate account? Also, if I were to agree to this is it tax free to me taken out as a loan by him? I’ve tried contacting several lawyers who said it sounds fishy and don’t want to touch it. He said that he had a hard time finding a lawyer also who is not in our district.. If I refuse to go this route he wants to go, then when he retires I will receive lifetime taxable payments of a set amount when he retires. Can I contact his plan or will they only speak with him? Personally, I believe it’s a bad idea for him to take a loan out, but he is insistent on doing this. With my job I just make under yearly amount for our 2 children to qualify for student federal and state aid. After child support ends I may have to seek a 2nd job, which I don’t mind, but then won’t qualify for student aid, and cannot afford tuition and books. We are trying to avoid student loans.

    1. Any money you receive now from the retirement plan will not be there when you retire. So it isn’t a good thing to get it now if you will need it in retirement. Apparently your portion of the plan has already been segregated for you within the plan. It has been invested, I assume, and will be available to you at retirement as a lump sum or you can take payments monthly. I think the plan administrator should be able to talk to you about your share of the plan since it is in your name.

    1. This is what I found on the internet:

      In the practice of Equity courts, a paper filed with a court after expiration of the time for filing a petition for a rehearing in order to request, due to exceptional circumstances, the correction or reversal of a final judgment or decree.
      The use of a bill of review is limited to three situations: (1) the correction of a judgment that has incorporated errors found in the record of the case; (2) the reversal of a judgment because of recent discovery of evidence that is decisive on the issues of the case but that could not have been found in time for the trial; and (3) the setting aside of a judgment based upon proceedings that were tainted by Fraud, such as perjured testimony.

  304. My QDRO was completed and ex’s company transferred half of his 401k to me. We were only married 5 years and he is quite upset. I have not touched the funds yet. What can he do to get his money and do I have to agree?

      1. What is a roll of review? I know it has something to do with child support, spousal support or custody. But would it apply to a QDRO?

        1. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

          I tried Googling that term, but nothing came up. In what document does it appear, and how is it used in a sentence? All I can think of is “rollover IRA” or “rollover of funds”, but that’s not “roll of review.”

  305. my husband makes about 53000. a year – he has no credit cards, no car payments (we have always drove older cars that were paid for with cash) he says he can’t pay me alimony (I make 15000. and have a lot of health problems to which I see pain management monthly) believe me – if I could go back to work full time and do this myself, I would. NOT that this is smart, its just my personality.
    But now at 54 he has decided he wants a divorce – I’m a little bitter …
    We have been married 20 years – together 26 years.

    He says he can’t pay me spousal support as he doesn’t have it…
    he does have $50,000. in retirement which I know I’ll receive 1/2 – is it possible
    for me to ask for more from retirement to help me live financially?

    He has the option of working for another 10 plus years – he is in great shape …
    great health …

  306. Hello, just wondering if someone could answer a few questions. My ex and I were divorced and there is a Q D R O in place. I have made several attempts to find out how much was in his pension when we divorced, and has it been collecting interest all this time. Recently I got ahold of the administer of the plan but they told me they cannot tell me anything until my ex is 3 months to the age of 55 (i’m turning 60 this year).
    1. Why can’t they tell me how much was in the account 5 years ago.( I live in Minnesota) so could or can i put this into an account that would of gave me interest? Or why haven’t they offered this info to me?
    2. Should they have put this into an interest bearing account?
    3. Why do I have to wait until he is 3 months out to find out how much is in the account currently?

    Thank you in advance for your help in this matter!

    Monna

    1. Most pension plans do not allow you to withdraw the funds or receive lifetime monthly payments until the employee is of retirement age. Rather than withdrawing the funds when he reaches retirement age, consider opting for the lifetime payments. That will provide you lifetime security and a far better return on your money than you would get in an interest bearing account.

  307. Hi my ex and I agreed that we wouldn’t ask for assets from either’s 401k plans and they weren’t mentioned in the divorce agreement. We have been divorced for three years and now he’s hired a lawyer to go after mine and is stating that he never knew about the 401k I have. I have no proof that he knew or that we had a verbal agreement. Can he do this?

  308. I have a finalized divorce from 1995. My ex was to receive half of my retirement accounts and pensions. I have 2 different pensions. A Quadro was filed at the tine of the divorce but one pension was left out. The divorce states nothing about how to handle remarriage. The pension says it is my choice whether this continues after remarriage. I am handling this filing myself and am wondering who needs to sign off on this?

  309. After 26 yrs my husband & I got divorced in Delaware. He was retired from the US Post Office. I knew I was entitled to part of his pension then but didn’t take it. He died last December. I am re-married. Am I still entitled to any of his pension?

    1. If you were awarded part of his retirement in your divorce decree, then it is yours. If you gave it up in your divorce decree, then it is not yours. If it wasn’t mentioned in your divorce decree, it is an overlooked asset that will need to be divided now.

  310. Yes I was married 30 years, and now we worked out a plan without me having to serve him. now he says he will quit his job if I have him served. Now he is giving in my checking 1400.00 amonth, he is supost to be paying 2,000 amonth. So should I have him served now before he retires. And how will his work know where to send money? And once he retires then what, do I have to go to ss office, I really not up for that. How does it work after he retires. J.

    1. You need to talk to an attorney right away. If he won’t pay you voluntarily, the only way to enforce your support agreement is to take legal action. But first find out how much you’d get if you took legal action, since it may not be as much as the plan you worked out. If he is of retirement age, then he certainly could retire, but he might still owe you support, since he’d have to have some sort of income to live. Once you are both of retirement age, you can apply for social security benefits online.

    2. wow…please dont fall for that….he will in all liklihood not honor that agreement……

      he is also likely trying to protect other assets/retirement fund, etc.

      without a divorce…you have no leverage to get your share of these assets

      a good divorce attorney will advise you to file so you have legal protections you are entitled to

      theres also a chance hes moving money around or spending it on other assets and hiding them

      dont walk around blind…..get an attorney and get moving

  311. I got divorced a couple of years ago, can I still do the quadrophonic if half of her pension was awarded to me? Is there a statue of limitation for filing, is what I want to say.

  312. I have been divorced since 2012 and 401(k) was to be divided in half. It was but I had no idea I had to do something with it. I thought the companies would just roll it over. My problem is this, my ex left me with a ton of debt that he was supposed to pay. He dropped off the face of the earth and owes me over 40k plus. I want to declare bankruptcy to clear the debt so I quit getting harassed. I understand that my 401k is considered exempt from this mess but…is it still exempt if it’s just sitting there and not actually in something making money?

    I have been living with my parents for over 3 years and I was going to use some of it to move away and start over…the problem is that I’m afraid if I put it in something right now I won’t be able to touch it for a long time. I can’t stay where I am much longer so I must have access to some of that money.

    1. Money doesn’t “just sit there”, it is invested in something. If you filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to divide the 401(k), then it is either in the 401(k) plan but earmarked for you, or it is in an IRA in your name. If you didn’t file a QDRO, then you’ll need to do so to secure your portion in your name. As for the bankruptcy, we can’t give legal advice, you’ll need to talk to your bankruptcy attorney about how 401(k) and IRA assets are treated in your state.

  313. I have been divorced for twenty years and was married twenty years i am in disability and i am 60 years old i was just,reading my divorce papers and notice that it says that i should get half of his 401K its been twenty years can i still get it. I also saw that he was suppose to pay child support and i never got anything can i still get that.

      1. I just started receiving my ex pension has he retired. Are their tax ramifications to receiving these funds when I’m not retired myself yet. I pay federal taxes, but in pa not required to pay state or local taxes on retirement funds. All viewers get a QDRO when u divorce. Solves a lot of issues .

  314. My friend was married to a military spouse for 13 years. She did not as for half his retirement. Can she amend her decree to ask for half his retirement. She has been divorced over 10 years
    She has received alimony and child support but now the child is over 18 years old.

    1. If the military retirement wasn’t mentioned in the divorce agreement, it may be an overlooked asset that can be considered now. If she gave up her right to it in the divorce agreement, then that’s probably a done deal.

  315. I’m contemplating on getting a divorce soon. My husband job went out of business and he had worked there at least 35 yrs. I know that he had a 401k plan but now when calling the company that handles it says there is a balance of $0. I’m thinking he has his money rolled over into his pension plan but how do I go about getting this information? Will I be entitled to receive some of it and what steps should I take to find out. He’s retired and I’m 54 yrs old with 16 yrs daughter. I don’t want anything from the divorce but what me and my daughter compensated for. Already receiving ssi for her. Need advice on what I should do asap

  316. Bridget Capawanna

    Somebody help me? i have a QUARDO been divorced since 1995 Ex husband disappeared
    i found out he retired from US Post Office about 3 years and he would do anything to not pay
    a penny to myself and our daughter. I spent a lot of money on an attorney 3 years ago and he was no help
    he took my money and said he cant find him
    I am entittled to this money but its a nighmare to get answers i live in New Jersey

    1. If you were awarded part of his retirement plan and you had a QDRO prepared and served on the plan administrator, and it was accepted by the plan administrator, then you will get payouts directly from the plan administrator in accordance with that QDRO.

  317. I have a question about pensions. My husband and I are going through a divorce. We were married for over 20 years and he worked for the Department of the Interior. I gave up my career to follow him around the country and raise our family. Am I entitled to part of his pension? If so, how do I go about filing for it? My divorce lawyer is not familiar with it and said that it’s my responsiblity.
    Thank you

    1. Are you saying that your attorney doesn’t know about how pensions are divided in your state? That can’t be the case. Ask him/her again. If not, contact the Dept of the Interior to get information about how their plans are divided in divorce.

  318. How can I transfer my portion of my ex husband’s pension back to him? We are too young to draw it out. The portion that is mine has been set aside and still growing and I’d like to give it back to him. I have no idea how to go about this. Washington State.

    1. Talk to a financial planner about whether you’ll have enough when you retire if you do this. Then talk to an attorney. I don’t think there is a way to do this without it being a taxable gift, but you can explore that.

  319. In my case my husband is trading a paid off home for maintenance.
    Thinking he was giving me a very good deal he was furious i asked for 50% of the Tier 2
    portion of retirement and then rec ended the offer.
    i make 15% of his salary and a paid off home is music to my ears..
    but as a woman a par-time employee in the fitness industry i don’t see my income growing in my old age as I am now 52 and well on my way to retirement. to which there is NONE due to the fact he was suspended from his job for drinking for almost a year and the 401 k paid the remaining balance on the home.
    He seeing the home as his retirement too. and asking for more has infuriated him.

  320. If I use my share of the retirement fund to pay off my student loans will I still have to pay taxes on it?

  321. Hello, I have a question…Im going through a divorce and I have been married 10 years. He destroyed all my belonging and I basically have to start over. clothes, shoes, etc…I was told I can get half of every thing he’s has with isn’t much…I want 401k, Pension, and IRA and alimony. We live in Missouri. What can I actually get RIGHT now so I can live off of it till im done with school. I’m only work part time and he has been on his job 18 years and makes 80,000+ yearly…Were I only make 15,000 to 20,000 yearly…Can I get 50% of the 401k now and if so whats the penalty for taking it now. And I want alimony to…Please help

    1. Talk to your attorney to see what the rules are in your state. For you to get your share of the 401(k), there will need to be a divorce decree or written stipulation, and then a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared. You can ask in the QDRO that your funds come to you, and you’ll owe taxes but no penalty.

  322. I was a house wife for 17 years got a divorce then ended up disabled I receive SSI Disability. Now I’m 57 years old my ex is 61 years if I take half of his pension will I lose my SSI in calif

  323. My wife and I are getting a divorce. As part of our agreed settlement, she gets a portion of my 401k. We’ve agreed to have the QDRO take more than her actual share to allow us some cash to pay off some bills and give us a start. We aren’t sure how we get the cash. Does the QDRO specify that part of it is to be awarded in cash or is that something she does after the money is segregated to her name?

    1. In the QDRO she will specify the amount that she wants to be paid to her in cash. They will deduct 20% for federal withholding and possible some state withholding also, and remit that amount to her. The rest will go into her IRA. When she files her taxes, she’ll report the amount of the distribution and the withholding taxes, and pay any additional income taxes that are due. If she decides she wants more cash and makes withdrawals from her IRA, those funds will be taxed and there will be a 10% federal penalty for early withdrawal if she is under age 59-1/2, and possibly state penalties as well.

  324. I have been divorced for five years from my ex after a 22 year marriage. I was stupid and didn’t get a lawyer and tried to just use a paralegal and myself. He ended up getting almost everything in the divorce. I wish I had a do-over but since I can’t, it is what it is. Anyway, I had heard that I am still entitled to get part of his retirement. While he were married he worked for the city for 12 years. Now it’s longer but I would only be entitled to 12 of it. I read my divorce decree and I can’t find anywhere, where it says this. Does it have to be written down somewhere to be able to receive it?

  325. Hello, I have been divorced since 2008, I was awarded half his pension when he retires, will someone call or write and let me know when this happens?

  326. Hi ,
    I have been divorced from apr 2012.was married for 14 years. I didnt have the money to pay for the QDRO .He will be retiring in 10 years. what do I need to do to get the pension form him ,since my work dont have a pension plan . or is it too late …if not where do i go to file
    please help

    Estele in california

      1. Thank you so much.
        Even after 4 years of divorce, i could claim pension…did i get it right…i keep missing that point.
        Estele

  327. Hello….My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 15 years. He was self employed and had no retirement. I worked for the state of CA so I had PERS retirement. He was awarded half my retirement for the 20 years we were married and of course we were told to do the QDRO. Because I had nothing to gain I didn’t feel it behooved me to make the first move. He waited until this last year to finally do it and received it. Today at work I was whining about my taxes and my co-worker asked me if I could claim what I lost in my retirement on my taxes since I helped pay into it. Which got me to thinking…can I???

    1. You are taxed on the income you receive from your pension. Since your former spouse got a portion of it, you will receive less and therefore be taxed on less. In effect, that is your “tax deduction”.

  328. Been divorced from my ex husband since 2002. In the divorce agreement it states that I will receive my Majauskas share of pension plans commenceing date of divorce action. It also states I will be responsible for the QDROs. He is still not retired and I haven’t done the QDROs, is it too late?

  329. My mother recently divorced my stepfather back in June or July. During mediation he agreed to pay her like 1000 dollars a month that was supposed to get my mother through March when her pension was gonna kick in when she turns 60 at the end of march.and come to find out she was not able to receive her pension at 60 and has to wait until she 62 the lawyer did not verify the information and now my mother is left with no income as she was a housewife what is there if any to do in a situation like this can she take a lawyer to court. it’s even hard for her to get insurance she went from having really good insurance through the railroad to trying to fight with Obamacare in order to receive insurance and come to find out she couldn’t afford it she’s had a nervous breakdown due to this and I’m trying my best to find out if there’s anything we can do to make sure that she gets what she supposed to get. Can the case be reopened? Where would we start.

      1. So the original lawyer isn’t returning my mother calls. Should she get a new lawyer and if it was processed in Atlanta ga does she have to get a new lawyer in Atlanta or can she get one where she lives now in Chattanooga tn. Thanks for your help we are lost. She paid the lawyer 3,000 retainer fee plus. And she’s now needing government assistance.

  330. My wired signed. Our divorce papers and then ripped them into pieces… can I still use that contract with her signiture Even though she ripped it up? I could rely use some guidance

    1. You are not divorced until your paperwork is filed with the court and approved. If you can’t piece the divorce papers back together, you’ll probably have to get her to sign another copy. If she agreed in court to sign, then you can compel her to do so. Otherwise, you and she will have to negotiate a settlement and write it up into a document that she signs. Check with your attorney to see if there’s anything else that you can do under your state’s laws.

  331. My sister was awarded a portion of her ex-husbands retirement when they divorced over 20 years ago. Last year she found out that he retired 5 years ago and she hadn’t gotten a cent. She hired an attorney and after a long process, she was awarded the amount due. He paid her $35,000 and then sent her a 1099 form. She doesn’t feel and really can’t afford to pay taxes on this as a windfall amount. Is there any way for her to just pay on the portion that she should have been getting each year for the last 5 years.

  332. I received money from my first husbands retirement plan 25 years ago and I rolled it over to a Traditional IRA in my name. If I were to get a divorce in my second marriage, would my current husband be entitled to any of this money from my first husbands retirement plan? I have not contributed anything to this during my second marriage.

  333. Sandra Gowettt

    I am divorced ! I have retirement available to me & half to my ex spouse? He has no qdro on file. Will this hold up my half?.

  334. My best friend has been divorced for several years. According to her divorce, and Qdro agreement, her husband agreed to have his pension continue on after his death until she died. At some point he signed off on this agreement with his retirement company. They are now telling her she is only covered till his death. Can they legally change a divorce agreement like this??
    Thanks so much!

    1. If the QDRO provides that her portion is segregated from his, then hers should survive his death. If not, then you’ll need to get an attorney to review it to see what it does say. A QDRO and divorce agreement cannot bestow greater benefits on either party than the plan itself allows.

  335. I’m divorced. I was rewarded 1/2 my husbands pention during the years we were married. He took a buy out with the company. He is 57 . I’m 50 and will be receiving my ” check ” with in the month. Can I cash it? Do I have to give it to a financial advisor ? And why ? If i have to give it to him can I keep some? I don’t understand… I never intended it to be my retirement money and I could use it now .

  336. My divorce was final November 13, 2014..Because it was a California divorce, and we were married for 30 years, I was entitled to have of the equity in our home, half of his 401-K (apx $121,000) and a condo that was supposed to be Quick Claimed to me only..He has been paying the alimony, but has not signed the Quick Claim Deed yet and it was ,ailed to him on December 3, 2014. He still has not contacted his appointed QDRO to transfer my half into my IRA. He will not answer any phone calls from me or texts either. I have left at least 8 messages on his company cell and he will not call me. I had no money for an attorney and did it all myself and got everything I wanted except for $400 more in alimony. What is my next step in getting him to full fill his Court Ordered Divorce Decree? Am I going to have to file a CONTEMPT OF COURT? Or garnish his 401-K because he isn’t doing anything about signing the Quick Claim Deed and has not been in touch with the QDRO? I hate to be mean, but I have to look after myself. I am living on less than $2,000 a month and he makes close to $7,200 a month. Hope you have an answer. Oh, is there a time limit on how long he has to contact a QDRO? Thanks for any help..Judy Anstess

    1. If your divorce papers say that he is to sign certain documents and he refuses, then you can ask the court to sign a representative, called an elisor, to sign on his behalf. If he is not taking steps to begin the QDRO, you should take that into your hands and do so.

    2. I don’t know if it stated his retirement funds in our divorce papers but where I live is 50/50 state. He passed awhile ago n named another beneficiary. Am I entitled to 1/2 the state where he lived was different.

  337. I just went through the same type of situation. I am also on disability. I just up and left everything. The only difference was that he had been giving me $800 to help me live on my own for the last 3 years. Then one day I get a knock on the door and was served with divorce papers. Well, he makes close to $90,000 a year and of course could afford an attorney. No attorney would give me the time of day without at least a $5,000 Retainer Fee. I had no money for an attorney. I did my whole divorce myself just from reading everything online. There is a section that states if you do not have the funds for court fees, they will wave them, so I filled out that paperwork (that I also found online) followed the very easy instructions and all of my fees were waved. Then when my exes attorney sent me a “STIPULATED JUDGEMENT” (which is just what he thinks he should pay you..it was a joke as far as I was concerned) Anything that is written in a STIPULATION is law, if you sign it. For example: My ex wanted to only pay me $800 a month for Alimony, when he brings home almost $7200 a month, and ONLY UNTIL HE REACHES RETIREMENT AGE! I know my husband well enough to know that he will not retire at 65. So I just took the STIPULATED JUDGEMENT that they were offering me and rewrote it and added what I WANTED! The main thing I changed was that I wanted $1500 a month Alimony UNTIL HE “ACTUALLY RETIRES”..(not when he reaches retirement age) Because the divorce was filed in California, I (by California law) was untitled to 1/2 of his 401-K, and half of the EQUITY in our home..(I did not want the house) We also owned out rite a condo in Las Vegas (which is in the ghetto and wasn’t worth much) I also wrote into “MY STIPULATION” that because my husband was only willing to give me $11,900 from the EQUITY (which is about $12,000 less than it was worth) and for that reason I would take in trade for not giving me actually HALF of the which should have been around $26,000, that I would take the condo off his hands because he didn’t want it anyway. I used no attorney for anything and here is what I ended up getting 1) $1100 a month alimony instead of $1500
    2) $121,000 in my own IRA (which is half of his 401-K) Make sure that you read about using a QDRO..They are the only one that can do the transfer of your husbands 401-K..VERY IMPORTANT! I have sold the condo for $15,000 from the sale of the condo (which I did not owe taxes on because it was paid off and I sold it for way less that what we ought it for..So for someone not knowing anything about divorce law, I think I did very well. YOU CAN DO THIS TOO. You can live on your alimony and your disability alone, without touching the 401-K..So, write it in your STIPULATION that your husband is to pay for the QDRO because he makes way more money than you. You should also talk to a financial advisor about wjere you should put you part of his 401-K..They will help you invest it and it will draw interest. When you do have to use some of it, you will only be taxed on the amount you use, which shouldn’t be much because you are in a low tax bracket..My name is Judy and if you have a question about where you should start looking for what you need to do to start, feel free to email me. I will point you in the right direction..for no charge at all. I was in the same situation and no one would help me either. Here is my email: janstess86@gmail.com
    Good luck to you..Judy

    1. Judy, I have been reading this site and see that you are one knowledgeable person,. I need some advice, and can’t afford an attorney. I have been on disability since 2010 and get 976 a month and awarded spousal support last October and just learned he is leaving town. We are not divorced yet, He has the marital home, and is selling everything, What do I do? Also he will be retiring. Help,
      Daisy.

        1. Thank you for your reply. I did as you said, I went to J & D who set the spousal support, and to Civil Court and they as much as looked at me and said “What do we care”? I can’t afford an legal advice, he’s paid thousands for an attorney who guides him. I know in i right to the marital assets but can’t seem to stop him selling them. Even a court hearing i can’t prove it they say. This system is so messed up for women that are cast aside, Even legal aid can’t help me, Not unless violence happens. So in short this man walks away with thousands of dollars to give me what he thinks I deserve and i rent a room the rest of my life. at an age of 60. Who would of known? I sure didn’t. I wish I could tell ever women, beware, save money, and wait until the day when you are cast away like the trash one day. I sure hope soon, I find a way to learn something from someone who can guide me, October is fast approaching, and soon, he will divorce me on his terms because i have no one. How sorrowful. Thank you for answering me, and if you think of anything, let me know.
          Daisy.

  338. No longer comatose

    I am presently going through a very difficult divorce. I have been married for 23 years. The relationship has been emotionally abusive (most often controlling through the use of money and threats) and has ended with physical aggression (no broken bones so this means almost nothing in the courts). My husband is a narcissist and shows signs of psychopathic behavior. If you know of these disorders, they can be some of the most harmful emotionally abusive situations. I am currently receiving counseling for this. As my eyes are opening and I am finding my strength and my brain again (coming out of my ‘coma’), I am really struggling with, what seems to be, the unfairness of divorce in our judicial system. I have supported my husband and his career for 23 years. He went from an income of 30K initially when we were married to 5 or 6+ times that amount plus stock options and bonuses over the years- all while I took care of everything short of income and finances. He demanded full control of all our money. While we are in a state that is no fault and all of our current assets are split 50-50, please help me to understand why alimony is based on my current living expenses which total 1/5th of his income. He will keep the other portion to do with as he pleases which includes, but is not limited to, adding to his future retirement funds that I will have no access to. My spending is such because my children and I have lived with a man that refused to spend and share his income. He and I both agreed to my staying home with our children. I also spent several years homeschooling my children and they are currently in college on academic scholarships. I could have easily been the one who became successful in a career outside of our home and that would have put me in the position to earn the income he is now making and allowed me to invest in my future. Instead, after supporting him, I am now 50 years old, out of the work force for years, and having difficulty finding a job that would even pay 1/5th of what he earns. And I can no longer put money away for my future. I will continue to live in a financial situation that was less than fair (based on our income) and not have the extra 150K+ that he will have to do with as he pleases. How, in any way, is this just?

    1. Is there a limit on how long a woman can wait before she draws the money from the 401 account? After 29 years, we were divorced in 2008 and she still hasn’t taken her share. Is there a point where she takes so long, she forfeits it?

    2. the judge will tell you that you are entitled to the same standard of living as he is post-divorce….

      so dont accept the lie that your alimony should be based on your current living expenses

      a good attorney is aware of this…..get one….they are worth a lot…just do your homework and know what they will charge you beofre you sign up with one….

      look out for yourself lady…you ex certainly will not in most cases

      despite what everyone says in the beginning…divorces are rarely amicable in the end….its just the way it is

      1. Joe, no judge in this day and age will say she is entitled to “the same standard of living as he is post divorce!” Alimony and support is limited at best! You must be from a different era…

    3. It don’t matter what he did to you as far as what you get from the divorce. Everything is split the same ,thanks for sharing

  339. I’ve been divorced since July 3rd 2014 and I’m entiled to half the 401k. I can’t seem to get anything accomplished from my attorney. 2 months after the divorce I had a meeting with him to go over some things in our decree including the 401k. Its been another 3 months now and I talked to him just before Thanksgiving; he said he was going to call my ex’s attorney the first thing Monday morning to see what’s going on with the 401k. I’ve called him everyday for the last two weeks now and he won’t return my phone calls. I’m wondering if this is something I can do on my own or if I should just wait until he decides to do what he’s paid to do? I really don’t want to hire another attorney; is something I should worry about? It’s been 5 months and nothings been done since we signed the decree. I feel I’ve waited long enough, but if I’m in no danger of losing my half then I’d feel a bit relieved since it seems like the waiting game isn’t ending any time soon.

    1. You are not in danger of losing your half, but it will be a hassle if your ex dies and you want to get your half. So you need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order in place as soon as possible. Ask your attorney to recommend someone to you who specializes in drawing up QDROs.

  340. My husband blind sided me with a divorce and closed all the accounts on our children and me. He was rewarded a portion of my IRA for me getting the house. It states that I have to have my attorney do a QDRO to get him the money. I spoke to Wells Fargo who handles my account and they said he could just open up a IRA account with them and I could fill out the paperwork and send them my final divorcee degree signed and I would be good that way and not be taxed. My CPA told me the same thing. Is this accurate? I just want to make sure so I don’t get taxes. My attorney wants to charge me $1500 to prepare the QRDO and as a prior stay at home mom looking for a job and him closing the accounts, I don’t have that extra money to spend to have my attorney prepare this.

  341. I’ve been married for 21 years we have four children together, one is an adult now but I got three minors ages 16, 11, 10. What are my legal rights? I live in Texas. He has a 401k which he’s had the whole entire course of our marriage, would I be entitled to some? Would I be able to get alimony? Does he have the right to say I can’t leave Texas? Our kids want to live with me and have told him but he wants them to have to stay with him. What can happen? I’m worried. I appreciate any help y’all can give me, thanks.

  342. Part of our divorce settlement is to split my husbands QRDO, we have not gotten our final divorce degree finished but agree to the split with both attorneys. We both would like to cash it out for living expenses. If we wait until the finalization, we understand there will be a extra fee. How do we split it and determine taxes? do we let them take it from the top. $50k

    1. Your husband does not have a QDRO, he has a 401(k) or pension or other retirement plan. You use a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to split his retirement plan. The QDRO could provide that you get all the funds in the plan, and that they go to you directly rather than into an IRA. You would have to pay the income taxes on them, and then your divorce agreement could provide that you’ll give him the net amount realized after taxes.

    2. Hi ive been divorced .almost 18 years my husbend worked at his job for 17 years iam 60 years old and fild a Qrow. Iam in tideld to 50 persent of his retirment .how much will i get and dose a regular pention bill intrest

  343. I have been Divorced for four yrs now & Our settlement was made my our Att’s. I have all the paper work etc stating the QDRO’S but my question is, how safe is it to have this done on line? I see even on this site advert to do your QDRO’S for you for a certain amt $$ ie., (299.00).
    Also is there a time limit this needs to be done?, I was adv by my Att no time limit. But my ex-husband & I just turned 65yrs but he has not retired yet.
    Thank you!

    1. If the page is secure where you post your information and the people running the website are competent, then you could certainly do a QDRO online. Get the QDRO in place right away, so that if he retires or dies you get your benefit without having to go to court and fight for it.

      1. Hi Ginita,
        I am very glad to find you on such a forum where I need help and understanding of the retirement accounts. My marriage was short 3 years but I’m entitled to 50% of my ex retirement accounts. We already have QDRO’s signed by the court and also shared and approved by the plan administrator. Now my question is for some retirement accounts , i can get nothing till he retires or leaves the job. Also another retirement account is to open an IRA. So could you please tell me what is the best option and which is a good place to open an IRA?? Moreover, since QDROs are in place, can he tamper with the accounts by taking out all money ? And leaving me with nothing? Or he can’t do that ??

        1. Once the QDRO is in place in a retirement account they will not let him draw out the portion that is identified as yours. You may gain peace of mind by having the funds transferred to an IRA that you open and manage yourself with a mutual fund company or other financial institution.

      2. charmainet turner

        Hi Mrs Wall I have had QDRO filled out twice they said it was not word right can you tell me what to do it was discussed at the time of my divorce but it is in pay status he is 20,500 behind in childsupport what do I do

        1. Tell the professional who filled out the QDRO to communicate with the plan administrator and rewrite it so that is meets their standards for wording. And make sure that your divorce agreement makes provisions for you getting your share of the retirement plan payouts from your husband until the QDRO is accepted. Better yet, your divorce agreement may require the plan to withhold all payments until the QDRO is approved. As for the child support arrearages, your divorce agreement may provide that you can get payments directly from his income sources (such as an employer, if he has one, or possibly the retirement plan) if he falls behind. If it doesn’t, find out what you need to file with the courts to get an enforcement action so you can get paid. And don’t forget that he probably owes you statutory interest on the arrearages in child support. That can really add up.

  344. I live in Seattle, WA and divorce was final on September 17, 2014 . My ex husband’s 401k and pension were divided 50/50. Please advise me on how I may give these benefits back to my husband to pay for our daughter’s education, wedding,etc. He absorbed ALL of the debt, provided a car and alimony ! He also paid for the legal fees ! We have known each other for 30 years, and I want to give back what he rightfully earned . Thank You for your time ! ~ Lee in Seattle

  345. I have been divorced for 4 years now and was awarded half of my ex’s retirement but the attorney wanted $500 more dollars to fe the paperwork for getting the retirement and I just don’t have that kind of money … Is there a time limit on filing the paperwork and can I do it myself ?

      1. Hi I have kinda the same thing, we were ordered in the divorce papers to have the Qdro married for 22 years, done we were told to split the cost of the Qdro I paid a law office my 1/2 to start it they sent him paper work he never replied so the lawyer sent the paperwork that i paid 300.00 for back saying there was nothing more they could do for me that was 5 years ago now he says his union sent him papers asking why the Qdro wasn’t complete ? he saying now he will never be able to retire cause of me? I don’t understand ? He wants me to sign off that way i get nothing he is saying if not he will have to work till he dies well he can retire now he has 30 years in that union . I have no more money to pay out for another lawyer I don’t know what to do our paper work states that im entitled to 12 the pension of those years together.

        1. You and he need to get the QDRO prepared and filed ASAP. Apparently the pension administrator was put on notice that a QDRO order was pending, and so it sounds like they can’t make any payments to either of you until the QDRO is filed.

    1. i was divorced in 1994,was married to him for 20 years and have 3 children with him,I was granted part of his retirement in the divorce aggreement,I just found out he was laid off with the company in 2010,and took lump sum in his retirement,I have not been notified of anything,i heard he put the money some place not to be touched until now he is starting to draw funds from it.Is it failure to comply by court order by him not paying me my part.He has known all along where i have lived,but i don’t have his address or any info about him,this was a very abusive marriage and terrible drawn out divorce so when it was over,i have tryed my best to stir clear of him,so what should i do,i am disabled and on a very fixed income and cannot afford to hire an attorney.

      1. You can’t afford to let him keep the money, so talk to an attorney. Many give a free first consultation. You should have filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to protect your interest in the retirement plan, but it isn’t too late to get your money, just more legal hassle. Take action now — you need the money.

    2. IT SHOULD NOT COST 500 FOR THE QDRO

      The paperwork is not complicated……the plan administrator has an obligation to assist you in many cases…..

      Press them for assistance……its your money

  346. How long after the attorney receives payment to process QDRO does it take. Should I be expecting a check soon, I made payment with attorney three weeks ago. My marriage ended because I wasn’t making enough money , to see her career grow and have move seven times. My work was not priority since I started a painting business, she was in the Air Force , I moved so much was hard to start over a new business. I did it again in Utah moved entire house for her and children started new business , only this time she got a high tech job, again making good money and good benefits. One day upset about money she asked me how long I had been saving and how much I had. I kind of laughed and wonder are you serious everything I made I had to spend on us, The only money set aside is the Social Security money but I don’t have a retirement fund 401(k) or IRA. All she needed was a reason to get out .so one day her mom ,sister ,father and brother in law got upset with me for complaining at Bear lake one night, that in 3 days she called from attorney’s office to finalize our marriage. I cried like someone ripped my heart out we were married 18 years and she took my family, wife, kids, home, insurance, benefits, few friends we had . I lost everything she wanted even more. Why can someone make a law that says first you prove you need a divorce , second you prove you tried everything including hrs of counseling to reconcile , and third the separation can be allowed once both have given a fair chance to act civil and respectful. Work on the differences don’t say they are irreconcilable until there is proof. My ex took me out like I was a dirty filthy painter lowlife .im so much more than that .So I guess I’m ok and now I’m better my crying has almost stopped I still miss them. They even took my dog. I only see my kids for a few hrs 3 times a week. I almost killed myself with a knife to my throat once it made me so mad. Why can people learn to respect and love their spouses more. thanks for letting us pour our heart out and get your God given gift to help us , the victims.

    1. If the QDRO has been prepared and filed with the court, then it shouldn’t take long for the court to process, depending on the backlog. But if the payment you made was just to begin the process, then the paperwork would have to be prepared and submitted to the company, which would request any changes they want, and then look at it again, before it is approved for filing. That back and forth could take several months.

      1. I did not know where to start another question…I understand a lot of what I’ve read in here, but, back to the NYC MTA, the QDRO atty/paralegal never got pre-approval from NYC MTA bec. they never responded to 2 previous submissions asking for the LANGUAGE to be approved. So finally, last week they (QDRO people) submitted a third set of papers, this one had already been signed by a judge w/o pre-approval of language. Looked like they were directing it to a different person this time, but the same address. So, if the NYC MTA gets the papers in the mail THIS MONTH, APRIL OF 2018, do they have to start holding a part of my ex’s pension until they determine the language is correct, process the amount per the formula in the QDRO & BEFORE 18 months has passed? OR CAN THEY JUST ALLOW THE PAPERS TO SIT & COLLECT DUST (like they did w/ the 2 previous submissions) & not pick them up, or pick them up a year from now & then work on them? In other words, ***shouldn’t they have to at least process retroactive to the month the docs were received?*** I know you told me last week, they had 18 months, but 18 months from court ordered papers being served, or 18 mos. from 1st contact w/ papers sent for pre-approval? Why should I have to keep going w/o $$ bec. some entity is not sifting through their paperwork? BTW, I have a friend who worked there years ago & she said they do nothing all day, paperwork gets backed up etc. & she was not surprised. WHY AREN’T THEY HELD ACCOUNTABLE? They are holding up my $$$ !!! This is going on forever, it seems!

    2. I am sorry! I hope you are doing fine. I feel your pain, you know… I really do. There are lot of things for you to do in life and ease your pain, don’t try to hurt yourself, love everybody, especially your enemies, forgive them. Do you believe in Karma? She will have her turn to pay back someday.

  347. I have a horrible situation right now….I left my job 11 yrs ago and have received less than $600 in SS a month. I am covered by spouse health ins. Married 40 yrs. 57 & 58…he has always had the control of money and now receives testosterone. Inj that has completely changed him as a human being. He has cognitive problems that he denies and has been inappropriate on the internet. He is either at work or gone, we have no friends or extended family besides 2 grown sons which I an get no understanding from. He acts different around them. The stress is so bad that I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown at times. I am tryinv to work on better pain control but know it does not mean I will earn a living at my age. I always stayed home with kids so my husband could always work as much as he said he had to, only gtting my first full time job at 42, it only lasted 4 yrs…..I have called apts. And they tell me I have to have three times the rent in my income….I have no credit by myself….my husband has tied all money in property or his 401k..He even forged my name on my last 20k and put in his 401k instead of the small one I had started at 42…..I am lost and feel he has thrown me away….I am alone 99%of my life……my question….Does a judge usually award alimony with part of 401k? How does someone like me even be able to live in an apt if I have no income enough to qualify…he refuses to talk to me about most every topic but finances is out of the question…..i wonder sometimes if he is waiting to retire, in about 5 yrs…..will he have to give me alimony then? I. have no money to see an attorney. Thank You for your time in reading this.

      1. Do you know of any situation where retirement funds such as pension and 401k plans have to notify the beneficiary of any money that has been moved? Are there irrevocable provisions owners of these plans can put in place for spouses who stayed in marriages as long as 40 years? I made the home a comfortable place for my spouse and children neglecting my own career needs, even after going through a 2 yr college. I am afraid my spouse is having cognitive problems and will not seek help. I have tried to get him to discuss our finances but keeps asking me what I am talking about. I am afraid he is going to make bad financial decisions. And the personal stress associated with this is overwhelming for me. Thanks for your answer.

    1. You are entitled to 50% of his pension, 401k’s and IRA’s that were earned during your marriage. You are also entitled to spousal support for 1/3 of the number of years your were married. If you were married 21 years you would get 7 years spousal support. You can ask the court for emergency funding to get your set up in an apartment too. DON’T settle for less.

      1. Yeah take him for a ride get all you can get.its free ,you didn’t earn it ,so you deserve it. Geesh.I will never get married again. Prenuptial for sure

    2. I am disabled and did not take Medicare because my husband has really wonderful insurance. We are on the brink of Divorce. I’m scared I can’t make it alone on what SS pays me. I’m 65 years old and have
      not an idea what he makes per week. I know it must be plenty enough to keep us going cause on his yearly income papers I noticed it was over 75k. He has a large amount in his 401k. Why I’m telling you
      all this?
      He tells me ” I won’t get one red cent from him he’s already spoke to his attorneys”. Can this be? I’m so afraid. I don’t have any family and no where really to go. And I just don’t think it’s fair because I have put my share in this house just as he has, not as much as him but as much as I could. Not to mention keeping the inside clean and decorated, for his so called associates to visit. Isn’t that just Dandy?
      I have rheumatoid arthritis. I fell and broke my neck many years ago it fused itself back together. When the arthritis got into it I had to have surgery. This is not a pity story, Please believe me. I’m only looking for advise. Why, because he beat me up 3 nights ago and my right arm looks like it’s been run thru a thrasher. Thank you all for listening to my complaints. May God watch over all of you…..Vicky.

      1. I don’t know what the laws are in your state, but I doubt they are as your husband states. The worst person to take legal advice from is your soon-to-be ex. Consult with an attorney right away to find out your rights.

      2. you have many rights……and yes you are usually entitled to half of whatever he has in retirement plans

        you should be able to draw half of his SS if you were married more than ten years

        dont believe a word he says……you HAVE to get a good lawyer

        you can pay the lawyer with the proceeds you receive from his retirement and your current checking and savings account

        get an attorney and get moving……they can find where he has moved money to if he claims its all gone

        dont sit there and take that anymore…..GET MOVING

    3. Alimony is bs,if you got kids get child support ,of not GET A JOB YOUR GROWN HE ISN’T YOUR DADDY.

      1. Maybe he insisted she stay home & care for the kids, or wait until they were older to finish school, & she was never able to. She may not have the ability to make enough income to support herself & their kids. There are some cultures that give the man all the say, but I think you’d rather
        “Punish” her, & see her & her kids homeless!
        (I think you are a man anyway)….

      2. DENISE MAY YOU’RE IGNORANT AS HELL. IF IT WAS DECREED IN THE DIVORCE THEN YOU ARE ENTITLED TO WHAT WAS AGREED UPON….i.e….CHILD SUPPORT IF APPLICABLE, ALIMONY AND 1/2 OF YOUR ASSHOLE ABUSIVE HUSBANDS 401K!! GET A GRIP!!! HE OWES HER THAT SO QUIT TRYING TO MAKE OUT LIKE SHE DOES”NT DESERVE IT!!! IF HE WAS A REAL MAN HE WOULD GIVE IT TO HER AND PUT IT BEHIND HIM!!!…..WOW!!!

        1. I was married for 34 years and made more money than my spouse and we had 4 children. He simply refused to put anything into his 401k because he knew he would be getting an inheritance from his parents. In the end after all these years of my actually investing in my retirement…..he gets half plus his parents estate. Go figure. And he will not pay for the quadro which probably will mean I will have to. So typical of our marriage.

  348. I was awarded half my ex husband’s pension and the QADRO and was signed by the judge. All the paperwork was turned into my ex’s pension plan months ago, my husband is past 55, and I still have not received anything from the pension company. I have called the person handling my QARDO personally on 4 occasions, everytime he tells me I will “hear from him next week.” This has been going on since May 2004 and it is now Sept. 2014. What should I do next?

  349. My ex is retiring in Jan 2014 happy for him.. and happy for me too because I do get some of his retirement I donated to during out marriage.. thou together 20 yrs only actually married 9 1/2. At time of divorce in 2000 he was making 94,000 (now 125,000) he gets 80% of his income for retirement.. how will I figure this out? I worry he will low ball me and I wont know any better.. there was a lump sum done at the time of the divorce in 2000 by an estuary (spell check) for 56,000 but he only wanted t o give me 30,000.. at the time I was working and getting alimony and child support so I choose to wait until her retired.. I became disabled in 2010 and no longer working, I really need to get an accurate number so I wont get low balled.. is there an online calculator to give me some idea? thanks!! Renee

    1. Your divorce decree will tell what you are to get. If you were awarded a percentage of his retirement and served a Qualified Domestic Relations Order on the plan administrator, your portion will be paid to you directly by the retirement plan. If not, and your ex has not yet retired, then you’ll need to get that QDRO in place right away. If your decree says simply that your ex will pay you a percentage of his retirement as he receives it, then you will need to request proof of how much that is, such as a copy of the check he receives or a pay stub.

  350. My husband and i have been divorced since 2006..In our divorce it states that i get half of his 401k from the time we were married up until when our divorce was final.. I have not received anything.. hes going to b quiting his job and moving out of state,how do i get my half before he draws out his plan and leaves state with All of it ???will I have get a lawyer to file the QRDO? Or is there a way I can file for that by myself??my lawyer is no longer in practice as a lawyer she is now a states attorney..Please help i Dont know what to do and Dont think its fare if i have to pay for another lawyer when in my divorce papers it Already says i am entitled to half..

    1. Contact the company to let them know that your divorce decree says that you are entitled to half the 401(k) and ask them what additional paperwork they need. They probably have a proforma fill-in-the-blanks QDRO that you and your former spouse can file with them. Having it done professionally is always preferable, but if you can’t afford that, then see if you can do it yourself. But get it done ASAP before something happens — you are at risk until you do.

  351. Patricia Cooper

    My aunt has been married for 28 years to her soon to be ex-husband. He is drawing his retirement and she is 52. Will she be able to receive her portion now to live on or do she have to wait? If I understand it correctly she can now and pay taxes on it. Also is it half of the retirement? His lawyer is saying a third. We are in KY.

    1. She will receive a portion of the payment that is currently going to him, and she will not have to wait. I don’t know Kentucky rules, but in many states the spouse’s portion is 50% of the marital portion based on the time he was in the plan while married divided by the time he was in the plan in total. So if he was married for 2/3 of the time he participated in the plan, then she would be entitled to 1/3 of the benefit. This issue should be addressed in her divorce agreement.

    2. My husband had me to sign papers while I was sick with my oxygen lever dropping can I take him back to count I signed almost everything to him because I wasn’t in the right state of mind .we divorced in Aug can I still take him back

      1. No.once the papers are signed that’s final. Maybe you could go back to school and learn how to spell

        1. says:
          June 9, 2016 at 4:15 pm
          You have to be married 10 years at least to get a portion of your ex 501k. And /or retirement. It’s only a % . Longer your married after 10 years the more % you get.so your sol.get a job

          REPLY
          Denise M May says:
          June 9, 2016 at 4:17 pm
          401k I ment

          REPLY
          You were saying?

          1. The laws differ from state to state, and most states do not require that you be married for 10 years to get your share of your spouse’s 401(k) earned during marriage. Check with an attorney to find out what the laws are where you live.

  352. If divorce papers were filed 5 years ago, is it necessary to get lawyer to get his retirement ? And if filed in one county and moved to other do I have to refile?

    1. Those legal questions are dependent on the laws of your state, so you’ll need to ask your attorney for guidance. If the divorce was not finalized, in some states the case is dismissed 5 years from filing and you have to start over. To distribute a portion of an employee’s retirement plan to the ex-spouse, there need to be legal documents filed and served on the plan administrator.

      1. I can’t seem to get the answer to this question anywhere. Husband has an individual retirement account. He had 400k in it when we got married and it is up to 600k. We have been married over 10 years. This money is in a self directed real estate IRA and I am the property manager.
        . I have been the designated beneficiary for the last 10 years. My question. Can he take me off as beneficiary at any time ( because it is his individual account?) Am I entitled to half of value of gain over 10 years since we have been married on this account? ie do I get half of the 200k gain? Which would be 100k ( I am rounding all this off of course). I googled this question every which way I can and I can’t seem to get a good answer. I live in California a community property state. I also have interspousal transfers to two houses that are my sole and separate property. They have gained in value as well. Do I owe my husband any gains? Thank you…know this is a older post but I am hoping you will answer this? diane.

        1. I don’t see why he couldn’t remove you as beneficiary at any time. If no funds have been invested into the account during your marriage, then the entire account is his separate property.

          As for the houses, if they are in your name alone, but you have made improvements or paid down mortgages from community funds, then there is a marital interest for the community contributions plus part of the appreciation, and you’d owe him half of that.

          If they are in joint names, then they would belong to both of you, but you’d have a separate property interest roughly equal to the equity at the date they were put into both names.

        2. I was divorced after 13 years and our 401ks were added together .and divided. I had 140k he had 47k.but I had mine 5 years before we divorced. That portion was not included. They add both up that’s a cumulative when married. He got 25k.of mine. And didn’t roll it over into his.he spent it in 3 months. Now broke and living with mommy at age 60

          1. Corrections. I had my 401k 5 years b4 we got married he did not get any of that portion.

          2. I have a similar question on this matter, this month I will be married 9 years and we are not seeing eye to eye on marriage long story short he quit his full time job last June and did not work for about 4 months, took out his 401k and spent all of it. I’ve been on my job 27 in half years and I want to know if he is entitled to any of my 401k. I have a teenager daughter that’s not his and she is beneficiary of this account. My other question is do I need to hang in there for another year or run while I have chance to protect me & my daughter future!

      2. I have been divorced for over a year been trying to get half of my exhusbands 401k it’s been one thing after the other now I am told that everything is done that needs to be done I have to get papers asking for the Quadro where do I get those papers from..or at least where I would like for it to go.

          1. i was ordered half of my exwife retirement from the court she has a 401a adro plan can i get the money too start my new life

          2. You’ll need a QDRO to segregate your share of the plan. If the plan allows funds to be transferred out, then you can get current distribution and pay tax on it. If not, then the funds will need to stay in place until they can be distributed in the future.

          3. You can’t get any of the pension until late she retires and starts drawing on it first. At her retirement. As far as 401k. Yeah you can get your part .but if you don’t role it over to a 401k plan they tax the heck out of it and you gave to claim it as income on your tax return .or you can be a man and earn your own. So Nanyang people think it’s right to steal 401ks and pensions. You could of earned your own .but no ,take take take.

          4. Saw an attorney this morning,seemed to be a disgruntled divorced (he is) gentleman. He told me it was extremely difficult to complete a QDRO, gave me a card of some firm that ‘only’ charges $500+ to have it done. I looked at him & asked ‘why am I here again’. Thus after telling me that he couldn’t do anything to help?? Is there someone that can send me the forms? I need to file ASAP. Please assist. Thank you!

          5. You can call the plan administrator and ask them whether they have a prototype you can use to prepare the QDRO yourself. But be careful, there are provisions that may not be clear to you that could work against you if you do them wrong. The QDRO specialist will know what you should do to get your best benefit.

        1. Your attorney was supposed to take care of that .good luck. Otherwise get a job and earn your own

      3. I was married for 11 years.How can you find an attorney that can advise you on this? My divorce attorney didn’t know anything about how to go about this. All I was told is it I would get half of his retirement and pension.

        1. YOU WILL. NOT GET HALF OF IT.YOU WERE ONLY MARRIED 11 YEARS. YOU ONLY GET PART OF HIS PENSION. AND THEY ADD BOTH PARTNERS 401KS TOGETHER AND SPLIT THEM. AND IF HE HAD THE 401K B4 YOU WERE MARRIED YOU DON’T GET A PORTION OF THE AMOUNT HE SAVED B4 YOU GOT MARRIED. OR YOU COULD JUST WALK AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE DIVORCE IS REALLY A LICENSE TO STEAL. BS. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUMP,PPL ARE GREEDY

          1. You might consider the fact that people are asking advice from the CPA, CFP Not u. Every state has their own laws concerning these marital property and pension/retirement/Ira questions. Sounds like u had to pay out, and ur mad. Ok, but others here are looking for help not lectures. I will say there is freedom of speech and we could all just avoid reading your insulting, degrading comments. Try a little Tenderness, great Three Dog Night song and works great for your karma.

          2. What Kim m. Sai. Noone is asking you. Everyone’s situation is different . Divorce is not a license to steal. I was married 26 years, worked part time and full time on and off for m ost of the marriage. Raised three kids without his hep and out up with verbal abuse for MN any of those years. He decided he wanted to be with the love of his life, kicked me and the kids to the curb and I lost everything. At my age tr Ying to find a decent paying job is next to impossible. I am entitled to his pension and 401k so please keep your opinions to yourself and let the expert talk.

  353. verdell rosalez

    himy husband is a alcholic and verbally abusive we have been married 8 years he has a retirement plan am i eligibe to get anything

      1. I was married for 24 yrs, divorced quick 90 day finalized 1.5 yrs ago, we had qdro paid out to pay off debts, now he is getting laid-off, and getting a big chunk of money from his retirement, am I entitled to half of it? We love on Pa, also my name is still on mortgage, but he had me take it off deed, am I entitled to half of it if he sells it, his new girlfriend now lives with him, and my name is on mortgage. ….I wasn’t in the right state of mind when I signed everything, and now I feel like I signed my life away

      1. You are not quarantined 1/2. It’s usually 1/2 of the years you were married. 16 hrs of marriage equates to 8 yrs of his time served. If he worked 40 yrs he would retain 32 yrs of pension and the spouse 8 yrs….if his rate is $80 per year served per month the spouse would retain 8×80=$640 per month.

    1. You have to be married 10 years at least to get a portion of your ex 501k. And /or retirement. It’s only a % . Longer your married after 10 years the more % you get.so your sol.get a job

      1. NJ is 20 years to split finances which includes home. When main provider retires, alimony gets re-visited. But you still get your share pension & such. Think majority states are same.

        Just find a few lawyers who will do free consult. They do that.

        1. Kimberly Williams

          Ivet been divorce for 3 years i recently filled a default jugdement do to the fact my husband lied & put the divorce in the newspaper now he is talken early pension plans i was contacted from his job to send the pension department my address what does that mean please thanks

      2. what happened see the ex-husband remarries at you again and it stays married for a year and divorce in case he dies do I still get my retirement that I’m getting all ready from his job since he’s retires and 2007 in case he dies will still be getting it or she’ll get it the second wife

  354. debbie didonato

    Need to have paper work drawn up to git qudo he paid for the divoice and I have no representation.

    Thanks
    Debbie

      1. If your divorce agreement gave you a portion of his retirement, you will need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed with the plan administrator to assert your rights to your share of the plan. You will then be given several options for accessing the funds, and the timetable on which you are allowed to do so.

        1. How long does it usually take to receive a portion of an ex spouse’s 401k? It has been 4 months since our divorce and I have not seen anything as of yet. Thank you.

          1. Once you have prepared the Qualified Domestic Relations Order and filed it with the plan administrator and they have accepted it, then it shouldn’t take long at all for you to have the funds transferred. How far along are you in that process?

          2. y mother is supposed to be receiving a portion of my dads retirement I believe 40% or 45% is the agreement in the divorce paperwork however has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer doesn’t have much longer to live is there a way or is she able to will that her portion of what she’s going to be getting to Her daughters? If so how do we go about doing that do we have to have power of attorney to one of us or do we file like a Will? If so how do we go about doing that I just found out 3 days ago I am totally at a loss here I have no idea where to start how to go about doing any of this

          3. If the Qualified Domestic Relations Order was filed with the court and served on the retirement plan administrator, then your mother simply names her daughters as beneficiaries. If that hasn’t yet been done to secure her portion of the retirement, it should be done right away.

          4. I was divorced in Nov 2015. We were married for 14 year and 11months. Who pays for the QRDO? Is there a charge tonfigure the Retirement out.

          5. How long exactly would it be to get the funds through QDRO if everything was all in order? I’m trying to buy a home as he is going to keep the marital home.

          6. Married 22 years all together was kept in the dark told nothing about survivors benefits I receive absolutely nothing in retirement. What a slap in the face dishonor and disrespect they consider it community property in Texas and he had a better attorney going on 5 years now lost total faith in the system not fair at all

          7. I was married for 18 years. My x was very sick the last year of his life. He remarried 6 months before he died. Everything went to her our children didn’t receive anything do I have any rights as the x n do my children have any rights. There was 2 death benefits n 2 retirement funds. Thanks so much h.

          8. My mom was awarded part of my dad’s pension in their divorce. He retired over the summer and he’s now receiving his portion but she has yet to receive anything. Is she supposed to contact someone or is he supposed to be paying her?? How does that work?

          9. She should contact the pension plan administrator with whom the Qualified Domestic Relations Order was filed, to see what the status is of her payments. If she failed to have that document prepared, then she should have it drawn up and filed as soon as possible. And if that’s the case, she should also contact and attorney to see if she can take legal steps to have her portion frozen in the plan rather than being paid out to him, and her having to recover it from him.

          10. I didn’t even think about his 401k during divorce. And needless to say he didn’t bring it up It’s been 3 years. He has since remarried. Is their anything I can do now. We were married 24 years. And I sacraficed for this to be saved the same as he did

          11. Vs law married 33 yrs, divorced. Husbands retirement not addressed. Can I go back for some of his retirement from his job. Need help he is a stocbrolker. Told by court clerk. No 4 children.

          12. I received the acceptance letter on October 6th and still haven’t heard a word. Do you think it is still too early to be worried? How long does it usually take?

          13. Timothy B. Garrett

            I had a massive stroke and she Devore me, I’m helpless and no where to turn to? My money Is going to soon to be finish. Please don’t take side with me ex-spouse to my proceed best way hidden treasures to cover exposure
            I Have the right that what’s intital honestly I’m getting a faire share what I going to receive? Please feel free to call me, I eagerly to get started to presume for spouse pension. Phone number Is (310)-863-0449 I’m looking forward to team up , and get equally share all to me,

          14. I’ve been wondering the same thing…..My divorce was final in May. The lawyer (and my ex husband) has told me that the QDRO judgement order has been approved & signed..That the retirement plan company should be contacting me on how I want my payment. ? I haven’t gotten a call or anything in the mail. It is frustrating….I know it takes time..But, I feel like someone is stalling. ? Like it’s sitting on someone’s desk. I’m sure I don’t have the right to contact my ex husbands retirement plan. I just really need what little money I’m getting from my divorce. I’m only getting 25% of his 401k, 20 years of marriage. Pretty much a cut & dry divorce. Sad….I guess I will just keep waiting… Thank you for your help.

          15. You might try contacting the retirement plan administrator, and see if they will tell you at least whether the QDRO is being processed and when it might be complete. If it is not being processed, or if they won’t talk to you, you’ll need to contact the attorney to find out the status, or have your former spouse inquire of the plan adminstrator.

          16. Hi in my divorce decree it said I get half of my ex pensions. He worked at U P S for 15 years. What’s the next step I need to do? Thanks Shaun

          17. I was awarded a portion of my husband’s retirement funds in our divorce. A QDRO was completed, sent and approved by my husbands plan administrator. I contacted the plan administrator to ask, how long will it be before I receive my portion of my husband’s IRA. The plan administrator informed me that I can not have access to my share of the fund’s until my husband turns 60.(Thats four years from now) That portion of my husband’s retirement, was ALL I was awarded from the divorce. I have nothing else and am living with my mother. I need the retirement money now, to start my life over. I can’t wait four yrs. I am 50. How do I obtain access to my share of the funds now, to start my life over again?. Please help

          18. Hi.i was ordered a half of a 401k 16 years ago from the judge in my divorce.but was tricked with a phone call by my ex.n said to me that im not getting it..how and am i still able to collect.i have it in my divorce papers…..thanks if you can help me.

          19. What do you mean “If” the administrator accepts the QDRO? I thought if it’s a judgement court order for you to have a portion….. #imconfused.

          20. Mrs. Wall,
            I have been divorced from my ex husband for almost 4 yrs. Now…in the decree it stated that I would get a portion of his 401 k, once he has withdrawn it…but, he lost his job about 6 months ago, and I have no clue if he has pulled any out to live on, or even how I would find out who I qpukd contact for my portion, bc I know that he sure isn’t gonna come forth on his own and tell me when he pulls any out bc he knows in our decree it stated that I get my portion at some point. He’s 6months (almost $3,000.00) behind on did support, even though he’s married recently, and his spouse has a job, be still continues to not offer to pay any cs….
            I’ve already had the quadro papers withdrawn when the divorce was final, bc I paid $500. Just to have those certain papers drawn and sent to his lawyer a couple years ago….

          21. You should have a QDRO served on the plan administrator as soon as possible (not the attorney, the plan administrator). That will let the plan administrator know that you have a certain interest in the plan, and then the plan administrator will be able to communicate with you. Until then, if your ex won’t provide you with plan statements to show whether he’s made withdrawals, then you’ll need to petition the court to have them order him to produce the proof.

          22. I don’t know who the plan administrator is, how do I find out? I do know it went to firth third bank in Colorado I think it is Colorado.

          23. A separate account was set up through my ex spouse’s job, I believe it’s called an IRA. That was the end of last month, now I am just waiting for the actual funds to show up on my account. It just seems like it’s taking forever since we have been divorced for 4 months now. I understand there’s a process in everything but I wasn’t sure if it should be taking this long.

          24. I am the receiving spouse & yes it took a long time. Try not use till you retire or 59.5 at earliest.
            That is why if you are under retirement age, you should get a full-time job even if low paying.
            Plus it is socialization & healthier to work.

          25. Has anything happened for you? I am in the SAME situation. I have called BOTH lawyers everyday and I am writing the judge. We were married for 20 yrs and the last 15 yrs of our marriage he hardly worked, union cement mason. I am so so tired of all this b.s.

          26. I have been waiting over 2 yrs now for a QDRO that was issued 20 yrs ago. Ex-spouse is now in contempt of court and has been stalling for over a year to fill out his share of paperwork. I hired the first attorney, after three months they said they didn’t want to touch the case. I now have a new attorney and the settlement has been submitted to court. It’s been over 2 yrs now. So no it is not always quick and easy, or without problems. Especially if your ex spouse was a government worker. The HR dept for government workers, OPM (Office of Personnel Management), is the worst institution to work with.

          27. Diane E LaschatzBaca

            OMGosh! I feel so lucky to have stumbled onto this web site WIFE.ORG. I picked up my iPad and my screen changed to this site, and oh how I needed this info.
            Ok I’m writing to you because I am living a nightmare, thru my never ending divorce. I was a nurse for over 27 years
            and became disabled with Myasthenia Gravis and lots of other issues. I spent my retro active SSDI monies on a QDRO divorce attorney specialist.
            This attorney did get my alimony started. But then he had a private meeting with my ex without my knowledge and after that he was no longer for me. He actually turned against me and wouldn’t answer any questions etc. I think they were both Vietnam vets and that was that.
            So, Im now out a little over 13,000 dollars. And recently my ex somehow stopped the payments of my alimony 3 months ago. I couldn’t get any answers as to why or what caused this from OPM.
            As a result of this drastic cut in moneies, I’m now being evicted this month from my tiny apartment. I don’t really have any friends, they were mainly his friends when I was married. They came with him and left when he did. I was so stupid. And my BFF died a few years ago. And there’s my 4 sisters, who are so dysfunctional that we don’t talk much.
            So that brought my ex around my apartment alot. Never invited him he would just appear at my door. Oh how I still walked on egg shells around him. He then started to be verbally abusive to me. And was sexually demanding when the payments (alimony) stopped and would claim not to worry he’s gonna help me I will get money every month no matter what yada yada .. You no.
            And I’m ashamed to say that I did complied to his demands to get some of the money. But I couldn’t do it again. So I stood firm and refused him. Scared out of my mind thought for sure he was gonna do me in. So then after that day all help has ceased completely. He blocked my calls and nothing arrived to my bank for direct deposit anymore.
            So now, I’m going to go to the Sacramento family law court self help center this Monday and try to get an ex parte order to resume my alimony and whatever I can get the law to do for me. And I’m dismissing my attorney of record cause I have no more money to pay him. And he’s not there for me anymore. Plus he requires a 10,000 dollar continual balance thru this process. A good friend played $5000 to help me. And we’re just friends I was amazed. Anyways..
            This QDRO I will need to do it myself as well. And as the woman stated OPM is terrible to have deal with. SO PLEASE ANY AND ALL ADVICE ON THE DEALINGS WITH OPM WOULD BE TRUELY APPRECIATED.
            Thank you all for sharing and God bless!
            Sincerely,
            Diane Laschatz-Baca
            I’m sorry, just so overwhelmed and its hard to get straight to the point.

          28. He divorced me in 2003, married in1999. He RETIRED on October 31,2019 he promised when we divorced he would let me know of his retirement, but I found out on my own. Am I entitled to the pension. QDRO

          29. If you were awarded a portion of his retirement in your divorce, then you need to file a Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator, if you haven’t done so already, so they will make payments directly to you. However, given that you were married only four of the years he was employed under the pension, I’m guessing your portion of the payments will be fairly small.

          1. Vickie Thompson

            I need help to collect my portion of my ex-husband retirement. I file all paperwork with his employer after the divorce. But now that my ex-husband is deceased the employer is refusing to pay my portion of the retirement. I’m at retirement age, should i hire a attorney?

          2. Dear Ginita: I have been married for 7 years, my husband just recently turned 60 and has started receiving his ” military benefits, however, I have no idea ” how much money is coming in, as he and his ” accountant brother does all of our taxes. I’ve noticed as my husband and his brother are trying to hide retirement monies from me..and a lot of other bank accounts as well, this Military account was ” unknowing to me, was set up in a bank account where his brother lives in ” another state. His brother will send only my husband a ” supposed check each month for the amount, I never see this money and my husband says it’s because that’s where his brother lives and that’s this was how it was set up. I am very upset and cannot trust my husband in our financial services. The brother does our tax returns as ” they” have assets in another state.I’ve never seen any tax returns. He never tells me if or what our return is if any. I really feel like I’m boxed into a marriage where I do not feel secure. We have fought several times over these issues. Deaf ears, what do I need to do? Forensic private I. ?

          3. In most states each spouse has a fiduciary duty to the other, that is, must treat the other spouse’s share of funds as he would treat his own. I suggest that you counsel with a marriage counselor who deals with these types of financial fidelity issues to reach an accord about sharing information. As a last resort, you can file for divorce and begin legal discovery, but it doesn’t sound as though you want to end the marriage, you just want transparency in financial dealings.

          4. You people are all sickening why don’t you just go get a job like your husband did to support you

          5. Most of us women do have jobs and did before the marriage and all through the marriage. We need the money for our kids to have a decent life because most men do not want to support their children after a divorce because all they think about is another woman. Usually it is that that causes most divorces. You try supporting kids with one income because the other parent could care less. Then let me know your opinion

          6. I totally agree with you Susan. Thank you for speaking up for many women who don’t have a chance. Thank you for helping the men to see the reality…Hopefully your feedback will help open part of their hearts…

          7. I’m the man in the marriage getting screwed. the shoe fits on both feet unfortunately. there are horrible woman as well…no offense

          8. Dear Jamie,
            Do you feel the same when the wife supports the husband’s cushy lifestyle for 25 years?
            and puts up with His PORN ADDICTIONS, PERVERSIONS, cashes out her 401k’s for the family’s needs over the years… but Mr Goober keeps HIS money separate “what’s mine is his and what’s his is his too. “. so hard to deal with a narcissist with an entitlement issue.

          9. Jaime
            You are obviously have not educated yourself nor are capable of understanding that every marriage has its own given roles to which both partners contribute in order to grow and maintain a lifestyle. Please refrain from judging others by your own prejudices. I can offer you some wonderful google search ideas to help educate and then hopefully inform other women and men about these facts:
            If you have access to the internet start by searching for the following:
            1. Salary calculated for women who stay home based on an hourly wage would be $115,000 a year.
            ( source : Forbes)
            2. Average cost of child care for a infant under 3 and after school care for pre K- elementary school averages at $18,000 a year for home based cared. Corporate run child care centers average $23,000-28,000. Depending on factors such as location, extra sports activities included and the Credentials of the staff
            3. Austria has a min requirement of 12 MONTHS paid maternity leave and mommies can request up to an additional 12 month. They receive a salary of $695.00 a week for anyone making under 150k yearly. Every woman has access to these and several more incentives when starting their families.

            Can you imagine the stress that would be removed from being torn emotionally and financially on new parents if they had that option available to them?
            Imagine the time and worry parents experience when having to make that choice. It shouldn’t ever come to the point of surviving or handing over your child to another person 5 days a week. I am 100% on the side of doing whatever fits your family in the best way in order to thrive . I also know the heartache and guilt of others for trying to do it all and really only wanting to be at home with their babies. Daycare can go from 6:30am until 6:30. If you factor in a commute of 30 mins 2x a day and an 8-5 day then that’s 10 hours a day. Little ones go to bed in the area of 7-8 pm. So from 5:30 – 7 or 8 , the time spent with your child is approx 2.5 hours a day x 5 is 12.5 hours m-f. 50 hours a month
            Daycare spends 200 with them.
            It’s a choice that should be talked about by both parents and carefully considered.
            I support all moms and have always understood everyone and every situation is unique.
            Be the kind of woman that encourages , educates and enlightens other women. Judging and blogging insensitive comments doesn’t contribute to the real situations and fears that woman during a divorce.
            I wish for the ” ah ha” moment someday ao you can someday help to make things better and. Not make any woman feel what you are feeling.
            Judgement isn’t an asset and it won’t. Make you Amy better than another person. It’s a sign of fear, weakness ams lack of knowledge on the history of what judging will eventually become.

            10 mins and 10 dollars from each of us who live together on this planet would obsolve homelessness, hunger and loneliness.
            Pay it forward , not back.
            Be the change you wish to see in the world. Stop complaining and being a bitch to women that have been brace enough and are resourceful to seek out their own answers .

          10. Jaime
            You are obviously have not educated yourself nor are capable of understanding that every marriage has its own given roles to which both partners contribute in order to grow and maintain a lifestyle. Please refrain from judging others by your own prejudices. I can offer you some wonderful google search ideas to help educate and then hopefully inform other women and men about these facts:
            If you have access to the internet start by searching for the following:
            1. Salary calculated for women who stay home based on an hourly wage would be $115,000 a year.
            ( source : Forbes)
            2. Average cost of child care for a infant under 3 and after school care for pre K- elementary school averages at $18,000 a year for home based cared. Corporate run child care centers average $23,000-28,000. Depending on factors such as location, extra sports activities included and the Credentials of the staff
            3. Austria has a min requirement of 12 MONTHS paid maternity leave and mommies can request up to an additional 12 month. They receive a salary of $695.00 a week for anyone making under 150k yearly. Every woman has access to these and several more incentives when starting their families.

            Can you imagine the stress that would be removed from being torn emotionally and financially on new parents if they had that option available to them?
            Imagine the time and worry parents experience when having to make that choice. It shouldn’t ever come to the point of surviving or handing over your child to another person 5 days a week. I am 100% on the side of doing whatever fits your family in the best way in order to thrive . I also know the heartache and guilt of others for trying to do it all and really only wanting to be at home with their babies. Daycare can go from 6:30am until 6:30. If you factor in a commute of 30 mins 2x a day and an 8-5 day then that’s 10 hours a day. Little ones go to bed in the area of 7-8 pm. So from 5:30 – 7 or 8 , the time spent with your child is approx 2.5 hours a day x 5 is 12.5 hours m-f. 50 hours a month
            Daycare spends 200 with them.
            It’s a choice that should be talked about by both parents and carefully considered.
            I support all moms and have always understood everyone and every situation is unique.
            Be the kind of woman that encourages , educates and enlightens other women. Judging and blogging insensitive comments doesn’t contribute to the real situations and fears that woman during a divorce.
            I wish you the ” ah ha” moment someday so you can begin to contribute to finding the solution. .
            Judgement isn’t an asset, it’s not worth shit and it won’t. Make you Any better than another person. It’s a sign of fear, weakness and a lack of knowledge for history. Read up on what judging will eventually become.

            10 mins and 10 dollars from each of us who live together on this planet would obsolve homelessness, hunger and loneliness.
            Pay it forward , not back.

            Be the change you wish to see in the world
            ~G

            Cheers to the women who are resourceful to seek out answers and brave enough to try another way

          11. Jamie, you should educate yourself in matters that you don’t understand. I am an ex-wife who is going to be collecting soon on my deceased ex-husband’s pension. We were married for 25 years and which I worked the same as he did. I also took care of the house the children and everything else that goes along with being a mother. We made a decision while we were married to only contribute to one pension plan. So that we could have the extra money to enjoy the vacations and the extras with our children. So once he hit midlife crisis and decided he wanted to start running around with other women. I had to secure my future by filing a qualified domestic order. He went out on disability while we were still married. So tell me. why should his current wife benefit from a pension that I helped him to earn? He was long retired before he met her.

          12. Jamie, Im sure you didn’t mean to offend. I worked right along side my ex husband and cared for two toddlers mostly on my own while my husband completed his masters degree. After he promoted it was his wish that I be home with our children.
            He moved us away from family, isolated us and became very abusive to the point of nearly killing me.
            Yes, I do deserve my share of his retirement and pension every bit as much as he does and not one person will ever make me feel guilty for that.
            You never know what someone else has experienced. Try not to throw stones lest your glass house breaks one day.
            Be blessed.

          13. Because being married is a job. Like most of us who have fulltime employment outside of home and fulltime household positions taking care of the needs of our families including servicing and serving our husbands deserve compensation. Don’t hate the players hate the game of life.

          14. Virginia Kiernan

            My divorce was final in 2003. I was awarded 50% of his 401k and stock options and have no idea what I need to do now to collect my share.

          15. The 401(k) requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to identify your share with the plan administrator. Ask your attorney for a recommendation of someone to draw up the document. You will probably have the funds transferred to an IRA in your name so you have control of them. As for the stock options, most companies will not transfer them into the name of a non-employee. So when you want to exercise them you will have to ask your spouse to exercise them on your behalf and remit the proceeds to you.

          16. virginia kiernan

            Thank you for your reply. I do not have money for an attorney what would i have to do to start the process i have my divorce paper which include order for qdro

          17. The same as you, I don’t have money to hire the attorney. I contacted my ex’s plan administrator and asked for the procedure. They guided me through. I filled out the QDRO form, sent it back to them for preaproval. In the meantime, I contacted them for the status of pre-approval. When I know for sure they approve my QDRO, I brought the packet to Court and asked the clerk to stamp. It will make the process faster. You will need to send the QDRO (with court stamp), along with the divorce decree to your ex plan administrator. They will transfer the fund under new account for you. Or you can open IRA account to transfer the fund to. It took me a month to complete everything…while I heard it can take more than 3 months if you hire an attorney to do it.
            It’s pretty easy to do. You can do it…if you do it yourself, you will be in control…instead of running around asking for the status…
            Good luck to you!

          18. My ex husband sends me a check each month from his retirement account. We divorced in Texas years ago. He is retired military. The money sent from him was the way our Divorce decree was written because of Texas laws. Do I need to pay taxes on that money? How do I record it on my 2017 taxes. I am 59, in one mmm month I will be 59.5.

          19. It depends on how your divorce agreement was worded. It is likely that it says that you are to receive a portion of the funds he receives after paying tax, in which case it wouldn’t be taxable to you. Have a qualified tax expert look at it and let you know if you can’t figure it out.

          20. If someone was living with someone for 10 years but never legally married , and although they filed tax return and had he/she on insurance as spouse and as beneficiary on retirement/stocks but split up and remarried and on or the other forgotten to take off as benefiary after all these years, is he or she intitled to half of retirement/ stocks? Or does this have to go to court to be settled.

          21. If your state provides for common law marriage, then you might need to get a divorce and negotiate a divorce settlement. If you aren’t common-law married, then there is no divorce needed. Talk to an attorney to see what you are entitled to under the laws of your state.

          22. Jennifer Chakwin

            I have been divorced for 5 years and in my divorce settlement I was awarded A portion of his 401k but I have not transferred it yet after all this time. I just recently lossed my job due to the covet Coronavirus and was wondering how to cash it on without hiring a lawyer

          23. You will need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to capture your portion of the funds, and it sounds as though you have not yet done the QDRO. So have it prepared, and in it you can say that the funds are to be paid directly to you rather than rolled into an IRA. That way you’ll owe income taxes on the distribution, but no penalty for early withdrawal. The plan administrator may be able to provide a prototype QDRO that you can use as a template in preparing the QDRO.

        2. My mom recently discovered her qdro and saw that my dad never transferred over a large portion of his retirement to which she was entitled. It has been about 9 years since their divorce was finalized and my mom just discovered this. My dad has acknowledged that he owes her the money. My question now is does he only owe her the amount specified on the document or does he also owe her the interest this accrued over the past 9 years? My mom claims he does and my dad claims he only owes the original figure. But that seems incredibly unfair to me that he was making money off of this for 9 years and wouldn’t have to give her any of it

          1. You’ll need to look to the terms of the divorce agreement. If it says she gets X portion plus earnings thereon to date of division, then she is owed the growth. If it specifies a dollar amount, she may only be entitled to that. If it specifies a percentage, then she’s probably entitled to that percentage of what’s there plus what he has withdrawn since then (if anything). If you have questions re interpretation of what it provides, you should see an attorney.

        3. I was divorced in 08 in Texas. I was ordered 10% of his retirement. He has been right at 20 years. I am not sure if he will be retiring soon. However, he is the type that would not inform me. Do I need to wait until he retires or can I start something now?

          1. You need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) prepared so that the plan administrator is on notice that 10% of his pension is to go to you, and will send you what belongs to you directly when he retires.

          2. Look at your divorce agreement to see what it says about that retirement account, and whatever that says you’ll get is what you’ll get. If that asset was not mentioned in your agreement, then you may be able to open your case up for the purpose of dividing an after-discovered asset. You’ll need to talk to an attorney or someone familiar with the rules for doing that in your state.

        4. Per my divorce decree I am entitled to all of my husbands 401k. He chose to give it all to me in lieu of child support and I agreed. My question is, he had Borrowed some money from that 401k that is still being paid on. Will that amount owed be taken off of what I’m entitled to or will I get the full vested amount?

          1. He is under the impression that the balance owed on the loan will be taken out of the vested balance though before I get it. Do you know if that’s the case?

          2. And I’m also curious about the possible penalties and taxes that will be due in the withdrawal. I think they will take 35% of taxes on the money, am I correct on that? And which of us will receive the tax form to file with our taxes on the distribution? And thank you for responding to me, it is greatly appreciated.

          3. Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

            Reply to Amy: The balance owned on the loan is already out of the account. Let’s say $100 is in the account and he borrowed $20. Now only $80 is in the account, so only $80 can be transferred to you via a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. If it is transferred to your IRA, there are no taxes due at the time of transfer. If it is paid to you directly, they will withhold 20% federal and possibly some state withholding as well. You’ll report the withdrawal on your tax return for that year and pay any additional taxes due.

        5. If the Quadro wasn’t included in my divorce decree can I still get a portion of my ex retirement? We were married 14 years and divorced in Baton Rouge, La I think La. Is a common law state

          1. If you were awarded a portion of your ex-spouse’s retirement account, you will need to have a QDRO prepared and served on the plan administrator. If your spouse was awarded all of the retirement, you won’t get the retirement. If your divorce agreement didn’t address the retirement, talk to your attorney about opening up the divorce for the purpose of dividing the retirement.

          2. Patricia Attaway

            I had no idea a QDRO was needed. My ex-husband withdrew his retirement in a lump sum without giving me anything. I was awarded 50% in the divorce. He worked over 34 years at a lumber mill. How do I get my portion, and how do I get an attorney to represent me when I have no money?

          3. It is amazing how you spend your free time to help another person we must ask God to bless you for the rest of your days.In my case I receive the 401 k if my ex who says will give 100% of her retirement plan how can I be sure If the document is well done I do not know when it will be the original.

          4. You will need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed on the plan administrator to carry out the provision of your divorce agreement regarding the retirement plans if a portion is to be transferred to the non-employee spouse.

          5. If a QDRO was signed giving my husband 1/2 of my 401 K but does not mention my pension, is he entitled to it? Can he come back in 4 years and get it? We’re in TX. Divirce Decree mentions half of my 401(k) but nothing about my pension. His lawyer drafted up our final decree and mentioned that I was not entitled to anything of his retirement pension or anything else prior to the divorce or in the future. . However she left that out of my personal property part.

          6. Hi I was married to a naval man who received a disability from the navy. We were married for 11 years, we have been divorced for 21 years now and the divorce decree did not mention his disability pension. I am remarried now can a judge reopen the divorce and include the pension

        6. I was divorced in April 2015 … I was the recipient of a QDRO for a large sum. I was never offered to to turn this into an IRA or anything or to take any cash from it with the penalty of course . Does that apply to Pensions as well as Retirement accounts ?
          Thanks

          1. If the pension plan allows transfers to retirement accounts and/or withdrawals before retirement, then you can specify in the QDRO that is what is to be done. If the plan doesn’t allow it, then it can’t.

          2. I’m disabled and was awarded half my ex’s retirement. I have a Qdro in place, he works for UPS and I think their conditions specify I can’t get it rolled into a IRA per companies plan. I’m also homeless and need that money now,, is there anything I can do at all, I couldn’t afford an attorney then, can he write a support letter to redo the divorce decree? Or to UPS? I need help ASAP,, thanks

          3. anna marie salazar

            My exspouse also works at UPS and i was awarded half his retirement. A qdro is in place, however ups is saying they cannot release funds until he retires. Isnt there a lay in texas that allows this? My hrblock rep says there is. Also, im so concerned because i recently received ups letter that is required by law to inform that they only had 40% to cover overalls retirement funds. Please help!

        7. Ms. Wall,

          After reading a number of the posts, I want to make sure I understand. The QDRO has been formally accepted, approved and being processed by my ex-husband’s company. Once that money is placed in an account for me, I had planned to use a portion of it to buy a house.

          Will I have to pay taxes on the money I withdrew to pay for the house?

          Thank you

        8. Thru QDRO I’m assigned 50% marital portion. My ex worked 18 years then became disabled before retirement age he’s 50.. can I get my 50% early…today?

        9. I have a friend whom is now divorced and she had decided that she only wants 5000 more of his pension. the pension office told him he would need an amendment. can you tell me if there’s a form for that?

          1. It sounds as though the terms of the divorce will change, so they will need to file an amendment to their divorce agreement with the court and a new Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator. You’ll need to check with an attorney familiar with the procedures for doing that in your state.

        10. I have everything, the court also sent the notification to my ex husband company. The response they gave me is that they can’t provide with any information because the papers needs to be completed by a lawyer, I explained that I represented myself so that I don’t have a legal representative. I have Qualified Domestic Relation Order, the court sent them the notification that 50% of the retirement plan and 401 K needs to be separated from his account, but the answer is the same, I need a lawyer. I think is not fair

        11. If I am entitled to a portion of my ex husbands retirement and he leaves the job and doesn’t retire and withdraws what he contributed, am I entitled to any of this?

          1. If you were entitled to a portion of his retirement and you filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order with the plan administrator, your share of the retirement will be kept for you and not paid out to him. If there was no QDRO filed, and he received funds that were in part due to you per the divorce agreement, you should take legal action right away to collect your portion from him.

        12. My husband and I just divorced. …the judge awarded me half of his 401K. We had been separated 4 6yrs beforevthe divorce was final. I do not know thecaccount #s for his 401K. How can I get that info without asking my ex for it Im sure he will not cooperate. I need it to file the QDRO

        13. I’ve been in divorce proceedings since Oct 2009. March 2013 signed settlement agreement. Husband got new lawyer and filed appeal in appellate court. Still awaiting decision. In the meantime husband retired May 2016. There is no QDRO on file yet. Is my portion of pension and 401K etc still protected? If not would a letter from me to his employer be of any use. Please advise. Thank you…L

          1. Generally, there are provisions in your divorce agreement that your husband owes you an interest in the retirement until it can be divided via QDRO. In addition, in some states there are temporary restraining orders that keep financial assets from being disturbed while divorce proceedings are ongoing. You should definitely serve the plan administrator with those temporary orders, if they exist. If not, your attorney should have restraining orders drawn up and served.

        14. Katherine Baggot

          I filled out the QDRO form and have had it approved from the judge and approved with ETF state retirement, but they only gave me the option to have monthly payments not a rollover option or a lump sum option. I was planning on paying off bills so I could live comfortable. Can I get this changed so I can take a payout?
          Thanks

          1. If the plan allows for your husband to receive a lump sum now, then you can get a lump sum. But it sounds as though there is no lump-sum option or rollover provision in the plan provisions, and they won’t give you a benefit greater than what they would have given your husband on the same funds.

        15. Pic ex-husband has a QUADRO prepared 8 years after divorce, and 1year after ex-wife’s retirement, is he entitled to a whole year of back pay? Does the wife have to pay anything at all?

          1. You’ll need to refer to the divorce agreement to see what it says about what he is to receive, and consult with an attorney if it isn’t clear. Everyone, this is why you should have Qualified Domestic Relations Orders prepared promptly after divorce.

        16. Hello,
          I was awarded half my ex husband’s pension in our divorce. We’ve been divorced since 1993. He just recently passed at the age of 55. How do I go about collecting that as I’m only 53 now.

        17. Our divorce finalized August 2016. We did not pay for QDRO’s for our rollover IRA and four separate 401k accounts. We simply agreed to divide the balances that existed at the time of separation. Our California Marriage Settlement Agreement states the balances and divided each account in half.

          Will a QDRO be necessary? I plan on opening my own IRA with the same brokerage. All the accounts are with one brokerage company.

        18. We are married in CA in 2005 just before he must put someone beneficiary on his government retirement paper ( he put my name), he start getting his retirement benefit in 2008, we live together 11 years if I divorce him will I get any part of his pension? Bcs I’m only CNA and have small income. The house only on his name , he made me sighn the papers.

          1. My husband is retiring this month, I get half his pension, will the plan administration let me know when I should be getting my portion of the money?

          2. If you filed a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, then you will begin getting payments once he retires. Contact the plan administrator to see what the timetable is and when you can expect to receive the form you must fill out telling them the option you choose for receiving the payments. This is also a good time to be sure that they have up-to-date contact information for you.

        19. I did a qdro. State retirement didn’t accept. My ex is behind 7 months and keeps telling me he will give me. Money by check. He keeps our 19 yr old away from me. I need to do an amendment because the amount to be divided was not entered but the state won’ accept. I will never. Get back pension. What do I do?

          1. If you need to amend a legal agreement, you’ll need to consult an attorney. If your QDRO was not accepted, you’ll need to make the necessary changes to it so that it is accepted. Obviously, depending on your former spouse to make payments to you isn’t workable. As for your 19 year old, he is an adult and can do what he likes.

        20. Marcie Lynn Navarro

          MY DIVORCE DID NOT CALL OUT ANYTHING REGARDING THE 10 YEAR VESTED RETIREMENT FROM THE TEAMSTERS. WE WERE MARRIED JUST SHY OF 18 YEARS.

        21. I did have a QuDRO drawn in my divorce, but the company is refusing to give me my half of the money until my ex’s retirement age. He only agreed to giving me half so could use it to start over. He got our home and land. The xompany wont send me commencement documents.
          Thank you in advance.
          Heather Hopkins

        22. Victoria Faust

          Ginita- my husband (I’m in the process of moving out and filing for divorce) received a lump sum pension payout earlier this year. I was not married to him at the time that he worked there. However we have no prenuptial agreement about money or assets including pension payouts. He says he is going to freeze our joint bank account and that will leave me to try and raise his two children without any cash flow for a few weeks at least. Can he legally do this? I also have a child support from my first marriage that gets direct deposited into this joint account weekly. This would mean I could not access my daughter money that is in our joint account. Please help. Thank you, Tori

          1. You can ask the bank whether he can do this and see what they say. And you should definitely talk to an attorney right away to find out what he legally can and cannot do, and what you can do to prevent him doing something that he doesn’t have a legal right to do. If I were in your shoes I’d open my own account and have my child support deposited to my new account.

        23. If my ex remarried after our divorce, is he able to go back on me and petition my 401K now? Shouldn’t he be the problem of his new spouse now?

        24. My divorce was final one year ago. I was awarded half of my ex husbands retirement. My lawyer tried to do a quadro. My ex husbands company has it set up in a way that I cannot get my half till he passes away or retires. Is there anyway I can force a payout for my share? I still have bills from when I was married that I cannot afford to pay and my credit is ruined.

          1. The company will not make funds available to you sooner than they make funds available to the employee — that’s the way all plans work. So if he couldn’t get the funds until he retires, then you can’t either.

        25. If your divorce has already been finalized and you did not sue for half of the military pension; am I able to do so now? I was really not counseled on this during the time of the divorce. I live in NC.

          1. If your divorce agreement awards the entire pension to your spouse, then there’s probably nothing you can do. But if it was silent, you may be able to open the case up again to divide an omitted asset. And since this is a military pension, there may be special rules that apply, perhaps even a rule that says that you are entitled no matter what your divorce agreement says. Talk to an attorney about this issue.

        26. I have the QDRO and it is filed with the retirement administrator but I was recently told if he moves to Texas that the state of Texas will not honor it. Is that true?

          1. Hi. I was divorced in 1999. I did not know about a QDRO. Did not file one Now I do know and will file one. I am awarded half his pension retirement and 401 k. Who do I talk to to help do this an Attorney I suppose. Who is a retired administrator?

        27. My husband and I just got divorced and I was rewarded amount from his 401k I finally got a letter in from his retirement saying I’m entitled to it but I can’t get it until he retires but I need some money to live on. I was told I could get the money from his retirement want can I do

        28. How do I know if a QDRO was filed at time of divorce? And if not, where do i receive one? Can you send me a form?

        29. THank you so much for all the time you have taken to help us. I was married 21 yrs to a man who has worked at Dow Chemical for now 28. He was ordered to split his pension with me 50/50 and after 7yrs has not done the qdro. I am taking him back to court to get him to do it, but now Im wondering a should I just do it myself? Im going to contact the admin tomorrow and start asking questions so on our court date I know a bit more what Im talking about. And last, he makes 100K a yr I know he wants to retire at 30yrs..(Soon) he put max in the entire time.. About how much is it worth? I am now rasing my grandchildren and renting and have been struggling or 7 yrs,even homeless because he wasnt paying our mortgage..I did read in the plan that they do give out money with a qdro even though he cannot get his until retirement..(I think that means I can have my money when I get this done)

        30. 50% of my ex’s retirement was granted in the order.
          Actual divorce has not been granted as there were all sorts of other issues (TRO and custody) so We had to back-burner a lot of the financials to get through the custody issues.
          It has been 2 years and we are back to tie up the divorce.
          The courts told us (five months ago now) they CAN NOT grant divorce until “the retirement is taken care of” and since that relies on my ex and he is resistant, I am at a loss.

          What are the very first and basic steps that I can take to complete this portion.
          Who do I contact first?

          Thank you for your time and information.

          1. Start by getting a clear definition from your attorney of what the judge means by “the retirement is taken care of” — the terms agreed upon, the actual division made, or something else? Once you understand that terminology, the way to proceed will be clear.

        31. I’m trying to file bankruptcy, been divorced since March 7th 2016. Judge have me half of his retirement. Lawyer took fees to distribute ours in half. No words on if it was done, won’t answer phone, my lawyer and his know nothing on it. No word anywhere. How do I find it and can I go thru bankrupty without it? Don’t know the full amount of 401k but believe it’s over$80,000. Debt is $24,000. Better idea to try?

        32. My situation is I was getting half my ex husbands pension, he committed suicide and they stopped it immediately, when I inquired, they told me he had put it somewhere that upon his death benefits stop. He didn’t just die, he committed suicide does that matter.

          1. If you were awarded a portion of his pension in your property settlement and you prepared a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to secure your share, then the election that you made when the payments began is what should govern. If you were simply awarded a portion of the payments he receives as he receives them, then when the payments cease upon his death you will no longer receive a share, since there is nothing for it to be paid from. How he died isn’t the issue, the fact that the payments ceased is what stops your payments under that scenario.

          2. Hello I am 57 and I have been divorced for 4 years. I was given 1/2 his pension at the time I’d divorce with a QDRO. So my ex is taking early retirement starting febr 1. Do I need to do anything? He did say I would hear from the company he worked for. What do I need to do if anything? Thank you in advance.

          3. If I were you, I wouldn’t sit back and wait for the company to contact me. Contact them to get the ball rolling on whatever decisions you need to make and paperwork you need to fill out to get your share of the retirement funds coming your way.

        33. QUADRO was filed after divorce in 1993 and given to ex’s plan administer. That company was sold several times. My ex stayed still with them. He is 64 now. I was never contacted about settling QUADRO. Was to be contacted in 1995. Attorney who did our divorce is currently looking into what happened. Hope, pray for good outcome as I am disabled…was hit by car while walking etc…long tragic story.

        34. Do I need to hire an attorney to file the QDRO? My ex lives in Washington state and I live in New York; we’ve both moved several times since our divorce 26 years ago and I just found out he recently retired. Thank you for this site!

        35. I was divorced 2 and a half years ago and in the divorce degree it states that I am get 50% of his retirement and 50% of his investments. Through my daughter I found out he should be retiring in 1 year. I just need to find out what form do I need to file to make sure I get half his retirement. My email is Vmolina1966@gmail.com
          please advise

          1. You need to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared and filed on the retirement plan administrator. You can use a search engine to find someone to prepare it or ask a knowledgable divorce professional in your area.

        36. I’ve filed my papers to include the QDRO with OPM. In my divorce papers it states a formula of what I get with the dates (from this day to this day) in the divorce papers it also states that once approved I should receive my portion as soon as feasibly possible and mentions 30 days. OPM states that they won’t give me my portion until he retires. This goes against what the divorce papers state. Is it possible to have my portion transferred to me prior to his retirement

          1. The court cannot award a benefit greater than what the plan provides for. If the plan provides that you can receive your portion through a withdrawal or transfer to an IRA, then you can do that. Otherwise, the plan likely provides that the employee spouse must reach retirement age before payments can be made.

        37. I didn’t know that my ex husband’s pension had any value . I agreed to waive my rights to it in the divorce decree . Can I file a motion to change that decision . He never revealed his pension account value . We divorced 7 years ago. I need help please !!!!

        38. Didn’t talk about retirement plan at the time of divorce been divorce for 25 years now ex want to retire he want to buy me out the buy out was to low what do I do next I don’t have money for a lawyer

          1. You are going to have to find out how you can proceed to open up the case and get the retirement divided (or negotiate a buyout). Look for an attorney who will give you an initial session for free, and take in your paperwork from 25 years ago and see what you find out. Or negotiate directly with your ex to reach a fair settlement.

        39. Ginita,
          My ex-wife received a part of my pension via the QDRO. My ex-wife passed away several years
          ago. Our 36 year old daughter is receiving $135.00 per month now, after her death. Is this considered “qualified $” and protected from creditors. A creditor is saying he will garnish or attach this $. Can he? Thank you.

          Mark

        40. What if in the divorce settlement agreement I agreed to sign off my portion of the marital home in Lou of a certain amount of his pension because his company that he works for Wish closing down. Anyways, he withdrew the money out of his pension and opened a new account, putting a dollar in it, either one day prior to receiving the divorce to Cree or the day the divorce decree was finalized. We did not have to appear at a court hearing as we agreed at a settlement conference and everything was drafted up. So I complied on my end but he did not and I received this information from his ex employer. When I went to court, the judge ruled to keep case open and award me interest from the date he withdrew until he pays what he agreed to and was drawn up by a referee for the presiding judge and all ordered as such. So, My attorney drew up the paperwork for the marital home issue, in which I signed off in lieu of the agreed pension amount, as his company he’d been working for for many years was closing and moving out of the country. So, I signed off on that and his attorney was supposed to draw up the QDRO.
          Regardless, the company is closed down so how can a QDRO even be drawn up now, as that is what the judge informed me to bring in to proceed. I don’t know where to go from here. I received the information regarding the dates and amounts he took out of his pension and retirement funds from the HR department where he had worked. He clearly is in contempt and also of noncompliance of the divorce decree and settlement hearing.
          He did this intentionally and in complete malice. So I signed over my marital home and never received the agreement to do such. I have nothing and have a medical diagnosis for severe anxiety and panic attacks/disorder, And which I’ve had for over 20 years in way before I was married to him. However, it has significantly increased and left me and he state of despair..
          Also, I never received the agreed-upon property division of personal items either. I believe the judge said the statute was 10 years and this decree was finalized at the end of the 2013 year, so I am approaching deadlines, but have been unable to work on a regular basis for reasons stated above and others. I, myself, filed a notice to appear for noncompliance and what I stated above is what the judge stated..
          I reside in Grand Rapids, Michigan in Kent County. Any help in this matter is greatly appreciated, as this was supposed to be my way of helping myself get started on my own again as well as finding and paying for a new residence until I was financially able to get back on my feet again.
          Due to all of this, I have been residing and have since remained “stuck” in some terrible living conditions.
          Thank you!
          -Amy Knight

          1. It sounds as though you need to ask the court what the pathway is for you to execute on what the judge has ordered. If the funds you are due have been taken out of the plan by your former spouse, you will not be able to get the plan administrator to pay them to you, since they are not there. So ask the judge to make orders that will allow you to collect from your ex, or take the house back, or whatever the best remedy is. And while you are at it, consider asking for sanctions, which are a fine on him from going contra to court orders, and also asking for him to pay your filing fees and attorney costs.

        41. Divorced in September 2020. Getting half of ex’s annuity, fers, and tsp. He is paying me directly as the QDROs has not been submitted yet. I need copies of his 1099-Rs so I can file my taxes, but he won’t send me a copy of them. What can I do to get copies?

          1. You can ask him for them, and if he refuses (which he has), you can petition the court to require him to produce them. He should also provide you with that schedule apportioning income to you so you can attach it to your tax return. Alternatively, you can report what you have received from him as income on your tax return and attach an explanatory schedule. But before you do any of that, make sure that what he is sending you is a percentage of the gross payment he receives, not the net after taxes are withheld. If he is paying you a portion of the net after income tax withholding, then perhaps (depending on how your agreement is worded in the order) you should not be reporting anything, since he is paying you the net after tax withholding, and only he can claim the taxes that were withheld.

      2. Marcia McGuire

        i have been divorced for 29 years and got nothing in my divorce agreement. i was young and was afraid my ex would try to take my only child. i did not know virginia state divorce laws back in the 80’s. now i am 61 homeless, disabled with a bad heart and jobless. my ex is 10 years older and is retired. he was a government worker. i dont really understand my agreement and need answers.

        1. You’ll need to have someone review your divorce agreement and tell you whether there is anything more that it provides than you have received thus far. Check with the clerk at the courthouse to see what services might be provided in your area.

        2. This answer is not referring to QDRO or divorce.
          In NJ, I suggest you call your BOSS (county Board Social Services) & Social Security about your disability. You may be able to get Dual eligibility under Medicare A/B & Medicaid. Maybe you will financially get Social Security Disability payments then.
          Ask Medicaid or Boss if there are any legal service(s) offered to clients in your situation due to divorce.

          Good luck.

      3. We were married in March of 1974. My ex-husband worked of the DOD. I need to file for my half of his government retirement pension. Where are the forms for this?
        There is no mention of this in our divorce papers. I know his SS#. We were divorced in 1993. I am in dire need to collect this money.
        I was born on April 22, 1953
        He was born on Dec. 27, 1947.

        1. If this issue was not addressed in your divorce agreement, then you may need to get a court order that you are entitled to a share of his pension, before you can file the paperwork the DOD requires (and I don’t have specific knowledge of that, but the DOD pension administrator can guide you in where to find it).

        1. You are probably talking about a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) that is required in order for an employee retirement plan to be divided between the spouses (or former spouses). You can hire someone to prepare it, or possibly the plan administrator can provide a sample approved format that you can follow in preparing the form.

        1. If he is the employee, his pension will go to him, but he will be required to name you as beneficiary to receive payments after his death, unless you agree otherwise in writing. If you are divorced and you are awarded a portion of his pension in the divorce agreement, then you will file a Qualified Domestic Relations Order on the pension plan administration to identify your portion of the pension, and when he begins getting payments, your payments will also begin.

        1. If you were awarded a portion of his retirement, then you should have filed a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). If you did not, do it right away, so the plan administrator knows that you are to get a portion of the retirement. When your ex reaches the earliest age at which he could retire, you can begin getting payments from the plan.

      4. He had been silent v this c entire time. I have been nleft to stress & duffer. He remarried. I Couldn’t get any representation what about me, my work x my efforts. I am still being betrayed & left fearing?

      5. I live in Illinois msrried 33 yrs. my ex just retired law says I should receive half of his monthly retirement payout but was never given any paperwork to fill out for a QDRO we have been divorced for 7 yrs and he just retired

        1. No one will give you any paperwork. You have to pay someone,usually a QDRO specialist, to prepare the paperwork, which is called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. Get that prepared as soon as possible, and meanwhile, look at your divorce agreement to see if it says anything about any payments that your ex might receive from the plan that rightfully belongs to you. If it doesn’t, then until the QDRO is prepared and accepted by the plan administrator, you’ll either need to reach an agreement with him that he’ll turn your part over to you each month or you’ll need to get a court order that instructs him to do so, or better yet, instructs the plan not to make payments to him until the QDRO has been approved.

    1. What kind of Lawyer due I need to get the money from my Ex husband’s retirement account? I was entitled to 1/2 but settled for $17K, what kind of lawyer in texas do I need?

      1. You need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order specialist (who is not necessarily an attorney) to draw up the QDRO and serve it on the plan administrator. Ask your attorney for a referral or use your search engine to search for one in your area.

    2. My ex divorce me years ago out of town were not able to pull my kids out oy school and head out of town we were married for thirty some years am I entirely to any thing did not sign any thing

    3. My husband will be 62 years old next year that when his pension Will vested how can I started to get what the court award me he is with the Dade county School board

      1. If you have the QDRO in place, ask the plan administrator what paperwork is needed for your payments to begin. If you haven’t filed the QDRO to notify the plan administrator that part of the plan is yours, do that right away.

    4. Hi,
      I got my qdro approved by the plan administrator and the court system In New Jersey can I received a lump sum

      1. Once your former spouse is eligible for retirement, you can receive payment in whatever way the plan allows. You can ask the plan administrator what the earliest date is that you can begin receiving payments and what your options are at that time for payment under the plan.

    5. I am in need of help. I can’t afford to pay my lawyer $1500 just to file for a judgement of non payment . Occurring to the divorce agreement my ex husband’s retirement Ira , i was suppose to receive half of his payment. which was in our divorce settlement and he stop paying . I need to file for quad settlement since he as retired.

    6. If I receive a QDRO from my ex-husband’s pension Monthly, and he passes away, will my benefits increase?Neither I nor my ex-husband ever remarried. What happens to the remaining funds that he was receiving for his pension? Wouldn’t I be entitled to some type of death benefit?

      1. If you are receiving payments from retirement plan funds that were allocated to you via a QDRO, your payments will continue. If your ex elected to receive his payout for his life, then the payments to him will cease upon his death. If he elected to take a smaller monthly benefit in exchange for a payment to a beneficiary, then his payments would cease and the payments to the beneficiary would begin.

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