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Toward
a More Perfect Financial Union
by Candace
Bahr, CEA, CDS and Ginita
Wall, CPA, CFP®, CDS
"All marriages are happy. It’s
living together afterward that’s
difficult."
Anonymous
 Flags,
parades, picnics, and fireworks. July
is the month we celebrate those traditions
and institutions that make our society
strong and free.
Before the Founding Fathers wrote
their plan for “a more perfect
union,” they did a lot of thinking,
discussing, and a fair bit of arguing.
Their plan for a new government had
to rest on a foundation of communication,
understanding, and trust.
Open, honest, and thoughtful discussions
about money are vital to all strong
relationships, from colonies to couples.
Just as the Founding Fathers met to
discuss their issues, here are some
guidelines from the booklet “Love
and Money” for coming together
with your mate to create your more
perfect union:
- Organize regular “money meetings” to
discuss your financial situation,
dreams and goals. Use this
time to brainstorm creative solutions
to problems and generate ideas to
improve your future.
- Time your financial discussions
carefully. During the
morning rush, late at night, or after
a bitter argument are not good times
to discuss financial topics. A
lazy Sunday afternoon, a quiet weekday
evening, or during a leisurely walk
are better choices.
- Set realistic goals for your discussions. You
cannot change the past, spend the
same money on two different things,
or make your partner into a different
person. Be clear about what you want
to achieve.
- Don’t be afraid to rehearse
your financial discussions in advance.
Love does not mean constant spontaneity. Considering
how and when to best approach your
partner can make the difference between
success and failure when discussing
tough subjects.
- If a discussion looks like it might
become a fight, have a timeout. It
takes at least twenty minutes for
the adrenaline rush triggered by
an argument to subside. Once
your blood pressure has dropped,
write out your position on a piece
of paper. Show it to your partner
and use it to identify points of
agreement and disagreement.
- For women: Men do not like
to talk as much, as often, or about
as many subjects as women. This
is natural. Get to the point,
suggest practical solutions, and
be ready to take action. For men: Women
generally require more discussion
and consensus than men do. This
is natural. Resist the urge to solve
everything before your mate has talked
through the problem.
Money is a tool for use in the pursuit
of life, liberty and happiness. Try
to make your money management tasks
and your talks about them positive
and safe for both partners. By
using these basic steps, your money
partnership will grow and thrive with
shared knowledge and open communication.
At WIFE we welcome your comments.
Please feel free to contact
us. |
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