Marriage is an enormous commitment. Before you take the big plunge, do a quick check to see if there is water in the pool. The following quiz can help you and your beloved assess your readiness for the responsibility of marriage and help you communicate about important issues from the beginning.
Print out two copies of this quiz and give one to your partner. Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10 for yourself and then for your partner. For example, your score on question 7 might be a 10 — you have perfect credit and no financial baggage. You might rate your partner a 5 — he has fairly large debts or a history of financial problems. Or perhaps you think he’s a 0 — he just declared bankruptcy and has no idea where his next dollar is going to come from.
If your partner has some issues in one of these areas, allow him the time and space to resolve them before they become your problems. Remember the old saying, measure twice and cut once; it’s better to take a bit longer to be certain than to jump in and have to deal with the results later.
Also look for areas in which there is a difference between your perceptions of each other. If you think you’re a 10 and he thinks you’re a 2 in one area, it might be time for a pow-wow on that issue. Is he simply a perfectionist with high standards for everything? Or are you in denial of an important financial issue? Discussing these differences now, at the beginning, can save lots of misunderstandings later.
|Rate each of you from 0 – 10|
10 being the best and 0 being the worst.
|1. I know what I want.|
I have a clear vision for our lives together. I have a clear picture of our goals that keeps me motivated to move forward.
|2. I am happy and successful.|
I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am getting married out of a desire for companionship, not desperation and need.
|3. I have effective communication skills.|
I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, negotiate differences positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.
|4. I am ready for commitment.|
I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments, and lifestyle allow me to build a new future.
|5. I am satisfied with my career.|
My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and is not too stressful. I enjoy my work, and maintain a comfortable balance between work and play.
|6. I am healthy in mind, body, spirit, and pocketbook.|
My physical, mental, emotional, or financial health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good most of the time.
|7. My financial and legal issues are under control.|
I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with my marriage. I am not expecting my partner to rescue me from my problems.
|8. I understand my own money issues.|
I understand my own money issues and I am working on them. I am striving to achieve balance in my financial life.
|9. I am happy with the state of my financial affairs.|
I am comfortable with my financial habits and have achieved a balance between spending and saving. I know where I am going financially and I am on track to get there.
|10. My partner and I have discussed our financial issues.|
My partner and I have discussed our financial styles, money issues from our childhoods, and our financial goals. We have formed an understanding of what our financial lives will be like.